“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
— Mark Twain
“The secret to getting ahead is getting started.”
“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
“Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.”
“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”
“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”
“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.”
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
“Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.”
“Write what you know.”
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”
“If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.”
“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”
“If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.”
“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
“Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.”
“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
“You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”
“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
“Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.”
“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”
“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”
“Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.”
“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”
“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”
“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”
“Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.”
“Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
“Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.”
“I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.”
“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”
“Explore. Dream. Discover.”
“In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.”
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”
“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”
“Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.”
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