Top 20 Ramani Durvasula Quotes (2024 Update)

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “Gaslighting qualifies as a form of emotional abuse that involves denying a person’s experience and making statements, such as “that never happened,” “you’re too sensitive,” or “this isn’t that big a deal.”

1. “Gaslighting qualifies as a form of emotional abuse that involves denying a person’s experience and making statements, such as “that never happened,” “you’re too sensitive,” or “this isn’t that big a deal.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “Narcissists are also prone to something called projection, whereby they place their flaws and questionable behaviors on everyone else. Jealousy is often a great litmus test of whether or not your partner is actually the one cheating; if he starts accusing you of cheating out of the blue, you can bet the farm on the fact that if he is not already cheating, he is likely engaging in an inappropriate relationship.”

2. “Narcissists are also prone to something called projection, whereby they place their flaws and questionable behaviors on everyone else. Jealousy is often a great litmus test of whether or not your partner is actually the one cheating; if he starts accusing you of cheating out of the blue, you can bet the farm on the fact that if he is not already cheating, he is likely engaging in an inappropriate relationship.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “The narcissist is like a bucket with a hole in the bottom: No matter how much you put in, you can never fill it up. The phrase “I never feel like I am enough” is the mantra of the person in the narcissistic relationship. That’s because to your narcissistic partner, you are not. No one is. Nothing is.”

3. “The narcissist is like a bucket with a hole in the bottom: No matter how much you put in, you can never fill it up. The phrase “I never feel like I am enough” is the mantra of the person in the narcissistic relationship. That’s because to your narcissistic partner, you are not. No one is. Nothing is.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “Despite our financial struggles, he – the narcissist – would insist that we take lavish vacations, get $150 bottles of wine, and spare no expense. When the bills came in, he couldn’t be bothered, but he always expected the show to go on. Narcissists will tend to spend money they don’t have to throw a big show. One place this will sometimes emerge is in wedding planning. Many people I talked with reflected back on their weddings as though they were a “show”.”

4. “Despite our financial struggles, he – the narcissist – would insist that we take lavish vacations, get $150 bottles of wine, and spare no expense. When the bills came in, he couldn’t be bothered, but he always expected the show to go on. Narcissists will tend to spend money they don’t have to throw a big show. One place this will sometimes emerge is in wedding planning. Many people I talked with reflected back on their weddings as though they were a “show”.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “When someone never takes responsibility for anything – words, actions, feelings – it is a challenging if not impossible way to maintain a relationship. They make up complex excuses and can rationalize anything. Be mindful as he shares the story of his life. Does he take ownership of past mistakes or missteps? Or does he share his history as though it were blameless and free of any errors on his part? Does he always seem to blame others for any negative situations in his life?”

5. “When someone never takes responsibility for anything – words, actions, feelings – it is a challenging if not impossible way to maintain a relationship. They make up complex excuses and can rationalize anything. Be mindful as he shares the story of his life. Does he take ownership of past mistakes or missteps? Or does he share his history as though it were blameless and free of any errors on his part? Does he always seem to blame others for any negative situations in his life?”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “Wouldn’t narcissism be valuable from a Darwinian perspective? From an evolutionary perspective, the narcissist actually has the best plumage and appears to be the best mate. A purely evolutionary view does not account for what we know about the value of authenticity, self-regulation, discipline, loyalty, and community.”

6. “Wouldn’t narcissism be valuable from a Darwinian perspective? From an evolutionary perspective, the narcissist actually has the best plumage and appears to be the best mate. A purely evolutionary view does not account for what we know about the value of authenticity, self-regulation, discipline, loyalty, and community.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “That said, if a person leads with charm and charisma and plenty of confidence, sit up straight and pay cautious attention. Make sure that there is empathy, that entitlement is not at play, that the person is genuine, that there is respect and, frankly, that he or she has the goods to back it up. Don’t let the charisma and charm blind you and stop you from looking deeper for the rest of it.”

7. “That said, if a person leads with charm and charisma and plenty of confidence, sit up straight and pay cautious attention. Make sure that there is empathy, that entitlement is not at play, that the person is genuine, that there is respect and, frankly, that he or she has the goods to back it up. Don’t let the charisma and charm blind you and stop you from looking deeper for the rest of it.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “Communication is predicated on the other person not only listening but also caring.”

8. “Communication is predicated on the other person not only listening but also caring.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “Narcissism is very much a “disorder of superficiality.” Given that the entire world is trending towards greater superficiality in all endeavors – work, school, parenting, and love – the narcissists’ propensity toward superficiality no longer seems that unusual.”

9. “Narcissism is very much a “disorder of superficiality.” Given that the entire world is trending towards greater superficiality in all endeavors – work, school, parenting, and love – the narcissists’ propensity toward superficiality no longer seems that unusual.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “Many times in new relationships the restructuring of boundaries can be hard work and requires mature and insightful communication. A common mistake is to assume that boundaries will just figure themselves out; they often do not, and hurt feelings are inevitable. For example, snuggle time with a male friend may evaporate once the woman enters into a committed relationship. Boundaries are usually implicit and understood by the persons in the relationship.”

10. “Many times in new relationships the restructuring of boundaries can be hard work and requires mature and insightful communication. A common mistake is to assume that boundaries will just figure themselves out; they often do not, and hurt feelings are inevitable. For example, snuggle time with a male friend may evaporate once the woman enters into a committed relationship. Boundaries are usually implicit and understood by the persons in the relationship.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “She was struggling to make ends meet, and he – the narcissist – had been at best marginally available to her. To an outsider it looked like a relationship of convenience. You only exist when you are useful.”

11. “She was struggling to make ends meet, and he – the narcissist – had been at best marginally available to her. To an outsider it looked like a relationship of convenience. You only exist when you are useful.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “Superficiality results in vacillating inconsistency, and emotions for the narcissistic person range from intense to detached on a regular basis. A healthy relationship should feel like a safe harbor in your life. Life throws us enough curve balls in the shape of money problems, work issues, medical issues, household issues, and even the weather. Sadly, a relationship with a narcissist can be one more source of chaos in your life, rather than a place of comfort and consistency.”

12. “Superficiality results in vacillating inconsistency, and emotions for the narcissistic person range from intense to detached on a regular basis. A healthy relationship should feel like a safe harbor in your life. Life throws us enough curve balls in the shape of money problems, work issues, medical issues, household issues, and even the weather. Sadly, a relationship with a narcissist can be one more source of chaos in your life, rather than a place of comfort and consistency.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “When it comes to love, narcissists are sprinters and not marathoners. It is often a rather grandiose experience, with numerous references to “falling in love at first sight,” and a “once-ina-lifetime” love story.”

13. “When it comes to love, narcissists are sprinters and not marathoners. It is often a rather grandiose experience, with numerous references to “falling in love at first sight,” and a “once-ina-lifetime” love story.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “The disconnect between the reality and the grandiose fantasy can make the narcissist angry, frustrated, sullen, and prone to lashing out. They are dreamers. When it comes to grandiosity and relationships is when narcissists talk about their “great love story” or the idea of an “ideal love.”

14. “The disconnect between the reality and the grandiose fantasy can make the narcissist angry, frustrated, sullen, and prone to lashing out. They are dreamers. When it comes to grandiosity and relationships is when narcissists talk about their “great love story” or the idea of an “ideal love.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “Your vulnerable partner may frequently put himself down and sometimes respond to positive feedback, but, in general, he is chronically self-critical and may seem neglectful or dejected most of the time. It often looks like depression. If this is your partner, you may become aware of this pattern over time through the absolute sense of isolation, neglect, and disconnection that unfolds.”

15. “Your vulnerable partner may frequently put himself down and sometimes respond to positive feedback, but, in general, he is chronically self-critical and may seem neglectful or dejected most of the time. It often looks like depression. If this is your partner, you may become aware of this pattern over time through the absolute sense of isolation, neglect, and disconnection that unfolds.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “Narcissism is, indeed, the new world order.”

16. “Narcissism is, indeed, the new world order.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “In the case of narcissistic personality disorder, it is an inability to form deep connections with others, superficiality, and a complete lack of a basic and necessary human quality: empathy.”

17. “In the case of narcissistic personality disorder, it is an inability to form deep connections with others, superficiality, and a complete lack of a basic and necessary human quality: empathy.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “Loud blasts of emotion and invective with little regard for how words and actions affect other people are the norm.”

18. “Loud blasts of emotion and invective with little regard for how words and actions affect other people are the norm.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “Living to please is like living a half-life.”

19. “Living to please is like living a half-life.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “It’s painfully simple but also challenging to execute because it requires a rewrite, a re-rendering, a reboot, and a reframe. And the best part is that it requires nothing from your partner – this is entirely within your control. It is the most unromantic piece of advice you will ever receive: Manage your expectations. Let go of the rescue fantasy. If you don’t, and you decide to stay, it will only destroy you, bit by bit. So now that you know the beast is never going to turn into a prince.”

20. “It’s painfully simple but also challenging to execute because it requires a rewrite, a re-rendering, a reboot, and a reframe. And the best part is that it requires nothing from your partner – this is entirely within your control. It is the most unromantic piece of advice you will ever receive: Manage your expectations. Let go of the rescue fantasy. If you don’t, and you decide to stay, it will only destroy you, bit by bit. So now that you know the beast is never going to turn into a prince.”

— Ramani Durvasula

Ramani Durvasula Quote: “In a healthy relationship, your partner is a great “dream-catcher.” However, when that unformed dream is laughed at, questioned, or belittled, it may not recover. Worse, you may scrap the whole idea. However, if there is one thing a narcissistic person cannot tolerate, it is being inconvenienced. Even just hearing about your bad day is an inconvenience. When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it can slowly dawn on you that things work well as long as you are convenient.”

21. “In a healthy relationship, your partner is a great “dream-catcher.” However, when that unformed dream is laughed at, questioned, or belittled, it may not recover. Worse, you may scrap the whole idea. However, if there is one thing a narcissistic person cannot tolerate, it is being inconvenienced. Even just hearing about your bad day is an inconvenience. When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it can slowly dawn on you that things work well as long as you are convenient.”

— Ramani Durvasula

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