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Top 10 Robert W. Firestone Quotes (2025 Update)

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “Acting out of obligation, form or tradition is deadly, because giving up one’s ability to act out of free choice is equivalent to giving up life itself.”

1. “Acting out of obligation, form or tradition is deadly, because giving up one’s ability to act out of free choice is equivalent to giving up life itself.”

— Robert W. Firestone

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “Because of the anxiety inherent in being vulnerable and undefended in a new love relationship, an individual unconsciously attempts to merge and form a unit with the loved one. In forming a bond, the lover is able to alleviate anxiety and attain a false sense of security and safety by sustaining the illusion of being fused. The fantasy of being connected functions as a defense, for whenever this bond is broken, the underlying pain and fear of separation invariably surface.”

2. “Because of the anxiety inherent in being vulnerable and undefended in a new love relationship, an individual unconsciously attempts to merge and form a unit with the loved one. In forming a bond, the lover is able to alleviate anxiety and attain a false sense of security and safety by sustaining the illusion of being fused. The fantasy of being connected functions as a defense, for whenever this bond is broken, the underlying pain and fear of separation invariably surface.”

— Robert W. Firestone

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “People who are self-denying and selfless have little to offer to others.”

3. “People who are self-denying and selfless have little to offer to others.”

— Robert W. Firestone

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “The author sees resistance as the holding on to an imaginary connection to others, due to the dread of re-experiencing one’s sense of aloneness and helplessness. Ultimately, resistance functions in order to protect the individual from experiencing anxiety states that arise from the threats to the neurotic resolution of the basic conflict – the conflict between dependency on inner fantasy for gratification versus a desire for real gratification in the interpersonal environment.”

4. “The author sees resistance as the holding on to an imaginary connection to others, due to the dread of re-experiencing one’s sense of aloneness and helplessness. Ultimately, resistance functions in order to protect the individual from experiencing anxiety states that arise from the threats to the neurotic resolution of the basic conflict – the conflict between dependency on inner fantasy for gratification versus a desire for real gratification in the interpersonal environment.”

— Robert W. Firestone

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “In a defended state, individuals have learned partially to satisfy their own needs, to fulfill their own goals in fantasy. In imagining that they don’t need anyone, that they are capable of taking care of themselves through self-parenting behaviors, they must react negatively to events and to people who offer real gratification. They become dishonest when they attempt to deceive themselves and others that they still want real satisfaction, real friendship or relationships.”

5. “In a defended state, individuals have learned partially to satisfy their own needs, to fulfill their own goals in fantasy. In imagining that they don’t need anyone, that they are capable of taking care of themselves through self-parenting behaviors, they must react negatively to events and to people who offer real gratification. They become dishonest when they attempt to deceive themselves and others that they still want real satisfaction, real friendship or relationships.”

— Robert W. Firestone

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “Indeed, the entire process of neurotic living is directed toward resisting a richer, more fulfilled way of life due to the fear of ultimate loss or separation. Throughout life there is a constant struggle between the drive toward actualizing one’s potential and the tendency to be self-denying and self-destructive. A “successful” psychotherapy would be a catalyst for a lifetime process of growing.”

6. “Indeed, the entire process of neurotic living is directed toward resisting a richer, more fulfilled way of life due to the fear of ultimate loss or separation. Throughout life there is a constant struggle between the drive toward actualizing one’s potential and the tendency to be self-denying and self-destructive. A “successful” psychotherapy would be a catalyst for a lifetime process of growing.”

— Robert W. Firestone

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “Furthermore, the image of parental strength and goodness always occurs in close conjunction with the development of a negative image of self. Patients who hate and blame themselves or perceive themselves as basically unlovable are defending and idealizing their parents.”

7. “Furthermore, the image of parental strength and goodness always occurs in close conjunction with the development of a negative image of self. Patients who hate and blame themselves or perceive themselves as basically unlovable are defending and idealizing their parents.”

— Robert W. Firestone

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “Once we know, on a deep level, that we must die, we choose, in various ways, purposely to give up our life in order to dispel the unbearable feelings of helplessness and dread.”

8. “Once we know, on a deep level, that we must die, we choose, in various ways, purposely to give up our life in order to dispel the unbearable feelings of helplessness and dread.”

— Robert W. Firestone

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “When children are hurt and in pain psychologically, they don’t want to be in distress, so when the situation becomes intolerable, they cease to identify with themselves. When they feel the most threatened, they will choose to identify with the person who is the source of their suffering in an attempt to possess that person’s strength.”

9. “When children are hurt and in pain psychologically, they don’t want to be in distress, so when the situation becomes intolerable, they cease to identify with themselves. When they feel the most threatened, they will choose to identify with the person who is the source of their suffering in an attempt to possess that person’s strength.”

— Robert W. Firestone

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “Psychological defenses that protected people from suffering emotional pain and anxiety when they were children later play destructive limiting roles in their adult lives. An individual’s defense system acts to keep him or her insulated, mechanical, and removed from the deepest personal experiences.”

10. “Psychological defenses that protected people from suffering emotional pain and anxiety when they were children later play destructive limiting roles in their adult lives. An individual’s defense system acts to keep him or her insulated, mechanical, and removed from the deepest personal experiences.”

— Robert W. Firestone

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “As we look around at people, what they’re doing with their children, with each other, with their wives, with their husbands, we see that most of their behavior is directed toward maintaining illusions and bonds.”

11. “As we look around at people, what they’re doing with their children, with each other, with their wives, with their husbands, we see that most of their behavior is directed toward maintaining illusions and bonds.”

— Robert W. Firestone

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “Thus, maintaining a good image of the parent is mistakenly perceived by the patient as being essential to stability and security; yet, paradoxically, its preservation perpetuates self-hatred.”

12. “Thus, maintaining a good image of the parent is mistakenly perceived by the patient as being essential to stability and security; yet, paradoxically, its preservation perpetuates self-hatred.”

— Robert W. Firestone

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “For emotionally mature individuals, on the other hand, a mutual commitment that expresses a desire to be associated with another person throughout life can be a positive expression of deep feeling rather than an attempt to find “ultimate” security.”

13. “For emotionally mature individuals, on the other hand, a mutual commitment that expresses a desire to be associated with another person throughout life can be a positive expression of deep feeling rather than an attempt to find “ultimate” security.”

— Robert W. Firestone

Robert W. Firestone Quote: “The child must conceptualize him or herself as bad or unlovable in order to defend against the realization that the parents are inadequate. Recognition of real faults in the parent would destroy the bond, or the imagined connection, and the feeling of imagined self-sufficiency.”

14. “The child must conceptualize him or herself as bad or unlovable in order to defend against the realization that the parents are inadequate. Recognition of real faults in the parent would destroy the bond, or the imagined connection, and the feeling of imagined self-sufficiency.”

— Robert W. Firestone

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