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Top 15 Russell Howard Quotes (2024 Update)

Russell Howard Quote: “I’m the munter of my friends. I’ve got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I’m a heart-throb.”
Russell Howard Quote: “I lived with a guy who had OCD and I used to put Rice Krispies in his slippers before I went out. He went mental, but not before he counted them all.”
Russell Howard Quote: “Some people in England only have their wheelie bins collected once a fortnight. Their suffering is unimaginable.”
Russell Howard Quote: “The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.”
Russell Howard Quote: “I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It’s like a child dizzy off lemonade.”
Russell Howard Quote: “When you’re three, you’re into custard, and jumping.”
Russell Howard Quote: “So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided it would be the ideal moment to say – ‘Guess what everyone in this jacuzzi has in common? You’ve all sucked on my tits.’”
Russell Howard Quote: “Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head’s showing and gone ‘Philip, look at me! I’m a stamp!’”
Russell Howard Quote: “From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 – stop humping the toaster!”
Russell Howard Quote: “What’s the opposite of opposite? Consider yourself bamboozled!”
Russell Howard Quote: “Unlikely things to see in a Valentine’s card – “I may be dyslexic but that doesn’t mean I don’t vole you.””
Russell Howard Quote: “Have you ever thought about letting Cheesus into your Life?”
Russell Howard Quote: “Music’s the best thing we do as humans, isn’t it? Music, I mean you flail your limbs, make you move in a way you don’t understand. Or it can make you weep like a sailor’s wife staring at a storm.”
Russell Howard Quote: “I’ve never said flange to a monkey!”
Russell Howard Quote: “Are you recycling? Are you!? You just killed a polar bear! YOU!”
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