Top 40 Sam Ewing Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “It’s not the hours you put in your work that counts, it’s the work you put in the hours.”

— Sam Ewing

2. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.”

— Sam Ewing

Featured in: Success Quotes, Hard Work Quotes, Attitude Quotes

3. “Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.”

— Sam Ewing

4. “Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.”

— Sam Ewing

5. “Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.”

— Sam Ewing

6. “Some people are much like blisters-they don’t show up until the work is done.”

— Sam Ewing

7. “An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.”

— Sam Ewing

8. “If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it’s probably worth it.”

— Sam Ewing

9. “Life begins as a quest of the child for the man, and ends as a journey by the man to rediscover the child.”

— Sam Ewing

10. “A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she’d married a millionaire. You’re lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.”

— Sam Ewing

11. “Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.”

— Sam Ewing

12. “When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn’t the old home you missed but your childhood.”

— Sam Ewing

13. “The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.”

— Sam Ewing

14. “Don’t drive as if you own the road; drive as if you own the car.”

— Sam Ewing

15. “Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.”

— Sam Ewing

16. “Youth is when you think you’ll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you’ve lived so long.”

— Sam Ewing

17. “Success is when your name is in everything but the telephone directory.”

— Sam Ewing

18. “There’s no thief like a bad movie.”

— Sam Ewing

19. “When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother’s Day.”

— Sam Ewing

20. “We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit.”

— Sam Ewing

21. “As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you’re grown up, a credit card does it.”

— Sam Ewing

22. “Computers will never take the place of books. You can’t stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.”

— Sam Ewing

23. “If we are what we eat, why aren’t we new, improved, fat-free, and light.”

— Sam Ewing

24. “Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them.”

— Sam Ewing

25. “A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold bracelet.”

— Sam Ewing

26. “Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he’s talking about.”

— Sam Ewing

27. “When a husband says, “I run things in my home” he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner.”

— Sam Ewing

28. “I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it’s still gross.”

— Sam Ewing

29. “Nobody’s too fat – they’re just too short.”

— Sam Ewing

30. “Nothing in the world can replace the modern swimsuit, and it practically has.”

— Sam Ewing

31. “Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands – and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.”

— Sam Ewing

32. “The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They’re always buying something we can’t afford.”

— Sam Ewing

33. “Highways are full of careless drivers who are always too close in front of you.”

— Sam Ewing

34. “The brain is like a TV set; when it goes blank, it’s a good idea to turn off the sound.”

— Sam Ewing

35. “The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.”

— Sam Ewing

36. “Wouldn’t you like to weigh what it says on your driver’s license?”

— Sam Ewing

37. “The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.”

— Sam Ewing

38. “On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, “Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device”. The question is, why doesn’t the plane just become a boat?”

— Sam Ewing

39. “Two things help to keep one’s job. First, let the boss think he’s having his own way. Second, let him have it.”

— Sam Ewing

40. “Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant longer to get out than a burglar to get in.”

— Sam Ewing

41. “President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we’re all doing it.”

— Sam Ewing

42. “Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There’s little change in them.”

— Sam Ewing

43. “A neighbor will stand at your door talking for 20 minutes because she doesn’t have time to come in.”

— Sam Ewing

44. “Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.”

— Sam Ewing

45. “Ever notice that nothing changes the color of paint like putting it on a wall?”

— Sam Ewing

46. “The sight of home looks best after you’ve traveled hundreds of miles to get away from it.”

— Sam Ewing

47. “Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.”

— Sam Ewing

48. “If you believe the past can’t be changed, you haven’t read a celebrity’s autobiography.”

— Sam Ewing