Top 30 Samantha Bee Quotes (2024 Update)

Samantha Bee Quote: “Christmas: It’s the only religious holiday that’s also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state.”

1. “Christmas: It’s the only religious holiday that’s also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I’m shy, but I’m not clinically shy. I don’t have social anxiety disorder or anything like that. I more have a gentle shyness. Like, I have a little trouble mingling at parties.”

2. “I’m shy, but I’m not clinically shy. I don’t have social anxiety disorder or anything like that. I more have a gentle shyness. Like, I have a little trouble mingling at parties.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “Don’t judge me. I made a lot of money.”

3. “Don’t judge me. I made a lot of money.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “Kids do have to learn that life is a humiliating charade of endless disappointment and tragedy ultimately culminating in pain, decay, and death. My parents used to sing me to sleep with that one.”

4. “Kids do have to learn that life is a humiliating charade of endless disappointment and tragedy ultimately culminating in pain, decay, and death. My parents used to sing me to sleep with that one.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “It’s great when you have people who will speak passionately and honestly about what they are doing.”

5. “It’s great when you have people who will speak passionately and honestly about what they are doing.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I believe in breakfast. It’s the one meal that my kids usually eat without a fuss, so that’s huge. As for myself, I can’t function without it, and I see it as a great way to get some healthy greens in, some coffee, and on a good day, maybe even some news of the world via the newspaper.”

6. “I believe in breakfast. It’s the one meal that my kids usually eat without a fuss, so that’s huge. As for myself, I can’t function without it, and I see it as a great way to get some healthy greens in, some coffee, and on a good day, maybe even some news of the world via the newspaper.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I hate birthdays. I thought that I only hated my own birthday, and then I realized that I hate my children’s birthdays too.”

7. “I hate birthdays. I thought that I only hated my own birthday, and then I realized that I hate my children’s birthdays too.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “You have to be willing to ask questions that almost no one else would ask.”

8. “You have to be willing to ask questions that almost no one else would ask.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “It’s like you can’t even go on the radio anymore and condemn a whole subset of people to hell without getting some blowback.”

9. “It’s like you can’t even go on the radio anymore and condemn a whole subset of people to hell without getting some blowback.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I was totally unknown in the television and film industry in Canada.”

10. “I was totally unknown in the television and film industry in Canada.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “Who are you going to believe? Leading authorities on medical science, or 800 memes on your cousin’s Facebook page?”

11. “Who are you going to believe? Leading authorities on medical science, or 800 memes on your cousin’s Facebook page?”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I get maximum satisfaction out of buying children’s clothes online.”

12. “I get maximum satisfaction out of buying children’s clothes online.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I am a cookbook fanatic.”

13. “I am a cookbook fanatic.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “Everybody is agreeing so tersely. I just had a flashback to the month before my parents finally admitted they were getting a divorce.”

14. “Everybody is agreeing so tersely. I just had a flashback to the month before my parents finally admitted they were getting a divorce.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I think that my love of cooking grew out of my love of reading about cooking. When I was a kid, we had a bookcase in the kitchen filled with cookbooks. I would eat all my meals reading about meals I could have been having.”

15. “I think that my love of cooking grew out of my love of reading about cooking. When I was a kid, we had a bookcase in the kitchen filled with cookbooks. I would eat all my meals reading about meals I could have been having.”

— Samantha Bee

Featured in: Reading Quotes

Samantha Bee Quote: “I don’t think the show would be funny to you if you didn’t already have a base of information.”

16. “I don’t think the show would be funny to you if you didn’t already have a base of information.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what’s going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.”

17. “I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what’s going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “If I could live in New York the rest of my life, I absolutely would, but it’s also prohibitively expensive and you have to be working. New York is a lot nicer when you have a job.”

18. “If I could live in New York the rest of my life, I absolutely would, but it’s also prohibitively expensive and you have to be working. New York is a lot nicer when you have a job.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I’m capable of living in the moment. And I’m especially capable of living in the moment of sitting on my sofa and watching other people’s moments.”

19. “I’m capable of living in the moment. And I’m especially capable of living in the moment of sitting on my sofa and watching other people’s moments.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “It is so expensive to take care of my hair and keep it looking like I was born with it, when my real hair is the color of rat fur.”

20. “It is so expensive to take care of my hair and keep it looking like I was born with it, when my real hair is the color of rat fur.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I continue to be very shy. I think a lot of actors and performers are really weird, shy people working it out onstage. I don’t know why that is.”

21. “I continue to be very shy. I think a lot of actors and performers are really weird, shy people working it out onstage. I don’t know why that is.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “When you’re presented with an opportunity, if you don’t act out of pure passion and pure authenticity, you’re squandering it.”

22. “When you’re presented with an opportunity, if you don’t act out of pure passion and pure authenticity, you’re squandering it.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “If it wasn’t for what goes on in the world of politics, we wouldn’t really have much of a show.”

23. “If it wasn’t for what goes on in the world of politics, we wouldn’t really have much of a show.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “It’s not every day people fly you to New York for auditions.”

24. “It’s not every day people fly you to New York for auditions.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I can agree in principle that it’s the thought that counts when giving or getting gifts, but I would also like to point out that “if there’s no thought... it doesn’t count.” I don’t wish to be reminded that you didn’t want to take the time to get to know me, or perhaps you have even known me my whole life and simply don’t care about me. All I ask is that you not rub my face in it.”

25. “I can agree in principle that it’s the thought that counts when giving or getting gifts, but I would also like to point out that “if there’s no thought... it doesn’t count.” I don’t wish to be reminded that you didn’t want to take the time to get to know me, or perhaps you have even known me my whole life and simply don’t care about me. All I ask is that you not rub my face in it.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “Our family car was the antithesis of designs and desirability. It was like driving Hitler’s moustache.”

26. “Our family car was the antithesis of designs and desirability. It was like driving Hitler’s moustache.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I think the show does better with newsmakers and politicians than it does with actors.”

27. “I think the show does better with newsmakers and politicians than it does with actors.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I dislike Ted Cruz as much as the next everyone. But that’s no reason to be rude to Ted’s loving wife and possible hostage.”

28. “I dislike Ted Cruz as much as the next everyone. But that’s no reason to be rude to Ted’s loving wife and possible hostage.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “I think NASCAR’s coming to Canada now so it’ll take on a whole new relevance. Be afraid.”

29. “I think NASCAR’s coming to Canada now so it’ll take on a whole new relevance. Be afraid.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “And since I was basically being raised by senior citizens at the time, my physical activity was limited to driving around the park to look at the trees, driving to the lake to look at the lake, and driving to the mall to look at coats that were “car length.” My.”

30. “And since I was basically being raised by senior citizens at the time, my physical activity was limited to driving around the park to look at the trees, driving to the lake to look at the lake, and driving to the mall to look at coats that were “car length.” My.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “It was only a few years ago that I couldn’t get hired to save my life.”

31. “It was only a few years ago that I couldn’t get hired to save my life.”

— Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee Quote: “My apartment is the equivalent of one room in my Toronto home. Now I understand why New Yorkers are on the streets at all hours. People don’t want to stay inside for fear they’ll go crazy.”

32. “My apartment is the equivalent of one room in my Toronto home. Now I understand why New Yorkers are on the streets at all hours. People don’t want to stay inside for fear they’ll go crazy.”

— Samantha Bee

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