Top 40 Shelby Forsythia Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “What if grief is not a consequence of love but another expression of it? What if our deep sorrow is a reflection of deep connection? There is no grief with- out attachment, investment, and some kind of emotional bond. The fact that we grieve is evidence of how completely we are able to love.”

— Shelby Forsythia

2. “There is so much more to grief than just death. In losing someone, you lose their presence in every single moment and milestone that appears after their death. Every hope, dream, and expectation you had for the future must now be reworked, because the person you love can no longer be there. It’s normal to feel like you’re grieving multiple losses when someone dies.”

— Shelby Forsythia

3. “When we grant ourselves permission to grieve, we make the experience of grief something we recognize, something we welcome into our lives. We allow it to show up the way it wants to through feelings, identities, and actions. We write our own expectations and stories. Our grief becomes ours again and we become more ourselves again because we actively choose to experience grief.”

— Shelby Forsythia

4. “Sitting next to grief and allowing it to root through your former life while slowly unfurling into your new life requires the kind of patience, gentleness, and self-love that many of us have never had to summon before. Remember that at its core, permission is about telling the truth about where you are right now. And sometimes that truth means saying, “I don’t know.”

— Shelby Forsythia

5. “We tell the story of our grief for two reasons: first, to solidify in our brains and hearts that life without our loved one is our new reality; and second, to realize that we are not alone. Just as grief is not a one-time event, telling the story of our loss is not a one-time event, either. We must share the story of what happened, to make sense of it for ourselves and to connect with others who are experiencing similar pain.”

— Shelby Forsythia

7. “Permission is the key that unlocks the door that’s been holding us trapped, muzzled, and stifled in our grief. Permission is the opposite of rejection. Permission is the opposite of abandonment. Permission lifts the weight, eases the pressure, and loosens the reins.”

— Shelby Forsythia

8. “Grief is not a linear slide into darkness. It is a cyclical path that eventually rotates into light. Spring comes after the cold, harsh winter. Yes, there are seasons when grief is louder and more disruptive, but there are also seasons when grief backs off, your strength returns, and night turns into morning.”

— Shelby Forsythia

9. “Even in the midst of grief, there is growth, compassion, and love to be unearthed. Loss buries us underground, but our broken hearts hold the seeds for our inevitable regrowth. Your grief belongs to you. But so, too, does your coming back.”

— Shelby Forsythia

10. “Grief is a heartbreaking, soul-crushing, brain-warping experience that not one of us would voluntarily choose to have. We would never sign up to experience the losses we’ve lived through or the pain that follows.”

— Shelby Forsythia

11. “No one can tell you what your grief means. You are the only person who decides what meaning, if any, should be assigned to the death of your loved one. While well-meaning friends and family will have their own interpretations of the role of loss in your life, it is up to you and only you to decide what it all means.”

— Shelby Forsythia

12. “Grief ripples out and sends powerful tremors through our foundation, through our hobbies, through our loved ones, and through our minds. For the first time in our lives, we can- not compartmentalize the hard, the bad, or the sad. There’s nowhere to tuck it away because every single aspect of our lives is infected with and tainted by grief.”

— Shelby Forsythia

13. “In grief and loss, it becomes incredibly hard to recognize who we are. Grief makes us different people. Everything that we identify with – from our emotional states to our patterns to our dreams to our fears to our preferences to our core truths – everything fractures and shatters under the weight of loss.”

— Shelby Forsythia

14. “Insisting that life stay the same post-loss is essentially the same as saying, “Let’s just pretend this never happened.” That’s an incredible disservice to the person, place, or thing that you lost. Did you love what you lost? If you didn’t love it, was it important, significant, influential, or a large chunk of your life? Did you have hopes, dreams, or expectations attached to it? Then it’s worth grieving its loss. And that loss will change your identity on some level.”

— Shelby Forsythia

15. “Grief wants to be seen, heard, and listened to... just like we do.”

— Shelby Forsythia

16. “In order to get “good” at grief, you have to practice grieving over and over again. This does not mean being constantly sad, but actively engaging with grief each time it appears, instead of avoiding it or pushing it away. It can be frustrating at first, because most of us are not explicitly taught how to grieve, but gradually, we can learn to remain upright in the face of our grief and become “good” at dealing with it.”

— Shelby Forsythia

17. “Recovery from the death of a loved one rarely looks like grand gestures and soaring moments of triumph. In fact, living well after loss more often looks like gradually giving ourselves and the people around us just a little more compassion, just a little more permission, and just a little more love every single day. Healing doesn’t need to be grand to be worthwhile; it’s the littlest moments that make the biggest difference.”

— Shelby Forsythia

18. “Judgment is the death of trust, vulnerability, and openness. When others judge us in our grief, they consciously or unconsciously signal to us that they are not safe places for us to share everything we’re thinking and feeling. It’s natural in the aftermath of loss, as in life in general, to gravitate toward people who are nonjudgmental and receptive. We all need witnesses to our stories, especially when we lose someone we love.”

— Shelby Forsythia

19. “Grief is less like a predictable sequence and more like an amorphous blob of uncertainty. You can’t forecast your way out of grief, because there’s no way to determine when the next wave is coming. This may seem disheartening at first, but when you recognize that there is no structure for grief, you can stop trying to pinpoint exactly where you are on your journey. If there’s no road map, it’s impossible to be lost.”

— Shelby Forsythia

20. “There’s a groundlessness in life after loss, as if somebody is pulling the rug out from under you again and again. It’s hard to find anything stable and secure to stand on, and when you do, there’s always the fear that it’s going to be taken away. Know that this sense of not having legs to stand on is completely normal and is a very real sensation brought on by loss. It’s not pleasant by any means – in fact, it can be downright terrifying – but it is an expected part of grief.”

— Shelby Forsythia

21. “Once grief enters your life, it remains a part of your life whether you acknowledge it or not.”

— Shelby Forsythia

22. “Grief does not want to be held, blocked, or braced against. Grief does not want to be quarantined, scrutinized, or shamed into disappearing. Just like every other emotion, grief wants to be able to move through you, free from judgment, criticism, or camouflage.”

— Shelby Forsythia

23. “We don’t grieve things that don’t matter to us. Grieving is just another way of saying, “I care a whole, whole lot about the person I’ve lost, and it’s hard not having them here.” The next time you start to beat yourself up for feeling grief, gently remind yourself that grief is not a sign that something is wrong with you; it’s evidence that you had a strong connection to the person you’ve lost.”

— Shelby Forsythia

24. “Society doesn’t give us permission to grieve, but we can.”

— Shelby Forsythia

25. “Grief literally changes and rearranges the cells of our bodies. Our brains rewire, our nerves fire us up and settle us down, and our immune systems do everything they can to protect us from stress. When our loved one dies, our bodies feel it – from the immediate impact to the lasting effects. Grief leaves a visible and invisible impression on our lives, in our lungs, in our brains, and in our hearts. Everyone who has ever grieved is, at least partially, made up of grief.”

— Shelby Forsythia

26. “Grief looks, feels, and shows up differently to each person. Just like no two losses are alike, no two griefs are alike, either. You cannot know the full depth of another person’s experience and they cannot know the full depth of yours.”

— Shelby Forsythia

27. “Letting grief become action is about the body. It’s literally about taking grief outside of yourself and letting grief’s emotions and identities be expressed in the physical world around you. Whether there are witnesses or not, it’s tangible evidence that grief has called you to make or do something. The act of doing something is a visible marker that grief has had and is continuing to have an impact on your life.”

— Shelby Forsythia

28. “Ninety-nine percent of the time, our myths, stories, and expectations for what grief should feel like come from our minds. Where grief really lives – and where grief needs to be expressed from – is our hearts.”

— Shelby Forsythia

29. “If you’re grieving, you have become – at least partially – someone you don’t recognize.”

— Shelby Forsythia

30. “Grief is pervasive. It cannot be quarantined any more than love can be quarantined. Grief affects all areas of life.”

— Shelby Forsythia

31. “Allowing grief to make its mark in your life – whether you’re altering habits and routines, making art, or attending a grief event – acknowledges and honors the fact that grief is a powerful, life-altering force.”

— Shelby Forsythia

32. “With permission to grieve, we stop yelling at ourselves to be stronger or different or better in our pain and shift to witnessing ourselves instead.”

— Shelby Forsythia

33. “The solution to grief is not a pain-free existence. It is allowing ourselves to grieve and witnessing ourselves in that process. Permission and presence are the remedies for agony and isolation.”

— Shelby Forsythia

34. “Grief is not fixable, curable, or preventable. It is not a “condition” or pathology.”

— Shelby Forsythia

35. “Grievers often bear the disproportionate burden of needing to “teach” others how to support them in grief... and not everybody is a willing or capable “student.”

— Shelby Forsythia

36. “Don’t ask your losses to stay small so that you can feel safe.”

— Shelby Forsythia

37. “Contrary to many societal teachings, there is no conquering grief. It’s impossible to “win” at an emotional experience like loss, because grief is not that kind of game. The object of grief is not to make the grief go away, but to expand your heart to make room for it. When you live with an expanded heart, there is room for you and your grief to exist side by side.”

— Shelby Forsythia

38. “We’re taught that getting to a place of acceptance means having no more grief and holding no more negative feelings about the death of our loved one. In reality, acceptance is simply acknowledging that what happened did in fact happen and recognizing the bitter truth that death is permanent and irreversible. Acceptance isn’t relief; it is the wholehearted realization that your loss happened and that grief is sticking around for the long haul.”

— Shelby Forsythia

39. “Permission calls us home to ourselves. It brings us back to where we belong. And it reminds us that we are safe, sound, and secure – even when everything around us is falling apart.”

— Shelby Forsythia

40. “You cannot fix, change, or remove another person’s grief. You cannot “spare” someone the pain of grieving a loss. Your grief belongs to you; their grief belongs to them.”

— Shelby Forsythia

41. “Relationships continue even when they are radically changed by death, divorce, diagnosis, or another loss. Grief continues, too. For as long as we continue to live, we continue to grieve.”

— Shelby Forsythia

42. “Pain puts us in close contact with ourselves. When we are wounded by loss, we become vulnerable. It’s in that place of helplessness and hopelessness that we are broken open enough to receive light – emotions like comfort, peace, and hope flow in alongside grief. It’s as if loss shatters us so much that we have no choice but to experience heartbreak and hope simultaneously. Where we most hurt is exactly where we will best heal.”

— Shelby Forsythia

43. “While grief invites us to feel the full spectrum of human emotions, it also invites us to deepen our love for ourselves. That means feeling exactly how we’re feeling in every moment. That means meeting and embracing the darkest, ugliest, most conventionally “unlovable” pieces of ourselves and acknowledging that yes, even grief belongs to us, too.”

— Shelby Forsythia