Top 100

Top 20 Shelley Berman Quotes (2024 Update)

Shelley Berman Quote: “If you’ve never met a student from the University of Chicago, I’ll describe him to you. If you give him a glass of water, he says, ‘This is a glass of water. But is it a glass of water? And if it is a glass of water, why is it a glass of water?’ And eventually he dies of thirst.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “I am careful with my material and presentation.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “I developed several comedy phone calls.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “I quit smoking well over twenty years ago.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “The old problems – love, money, security, status, health, etc. – are still here to plague us or please us.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “I was an actor before becoming a comedian.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “Incidentally, I’m still looking for acting work, my first love.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “I will always love to perform standup comedy.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “Though it sold very well, I hated The Edge.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “Inside was the second LP album of a comedian’s performance before an audience.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “While you’re improvising, you may come up with something which will break him up. As soon as that smile comes out, you know that, hey, we’re having fun.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “The Steve Allen Sunday night show had the right to two options after my first performance.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “I am in the Master of Professional Writing program teaching Humor Writing, Literary and Dramatic.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “The most unusual salesman I ever met is a fellow who made a modest fortune purveying lightning rods. But he suddenly lost interest in his work. He got caught in a storm with a bunch of samples in his arms.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “My first job was at a Chicago night club called Mr. Kelly’s.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “I heard the other day of a man who paid a psychologist $50 to cure him of an inferiority complex – and later was fined $25 and costs for talking back to a traffic cop.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “My whole act is confession.”
Shelley Berman Quote: “I am presently in my thirteenth year of teaching a graduate course at the University of Southern California.”
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