Top 50 Shirtaloon Quotes (2026 Update)

1. “People. Are. Vegetarians,” he yelled through gritted teeth. Every word punctuating a strike to the knee. “Vegetables. Aren’t. People-tarians!”

— Shirtaloon

2. “Simple, however, is not the same thing as easy.”

— Shirtaloon

3. “I wake up every morning, proud of who I am,” he told them. “I go out into the world, never regretting that I didn’t at least try and be the person I want to be. I face dangers and make mistakes. Sometimes I get beat, and sometimes I win. I stand up for what I believe in, whatever it costs me. When you give everything, you have to be who you want to be, that’s freedom, whatever your circumstances.”

— Shirtaloon

4. “Anisa gave Jason an unhappy glare. “You,” she said, making it sound like a swear word, “may address me as Priestess.” Jason didn’t care for being talked to like he was something scraped off the bottom of a boot. “Well you,” he said with an insolent grin, “may address me as Rakishly Handsome Jason.” “Excuse me?” Anisa said, barely believing what she just heard. “You’re excused,” Jason said pompously, as he looked away. “Just don’t let it happen again.”

— Shirtaloon

5. “Don’t worry about him, Mose,” Humphrey said. “Just remember that if you’re talking to Jason and you get confused, he’s probably up to something. If you’re talking to Jason and you’re not confused, then he’s definitely up to something.”

— Shirtaloon

6. “Are you saying your world’s better than mine?” Jason asked. “We have magic,” Gary said. “We have internet porn,” Jason said.”

— Shirtaloon

7. “This is Colin,” Jason said. “He needs a moment to gather himself together. When a super god was trying to possess me, he’s the one who had my back. He’s been with me from almost the very start and he has two purposes in life: adorable little dances and devouring every living thing on a planet.”

— Shirtaloon

8. “The street is in an extradimensional city I’m taking over so a hole doesn’t get blasted in the side of the universe. Mondays, am I right?”

— Shirtaloon

9. “Always either be modest or wildly self-aggrandising. Avoid anything in between, for there lies mediocrity.”

— Shirtaloon

10. “People mostly fail at things because they balk at what they have to do. It’s not that the path isn’t there but that they aren’t willing to walk it.”

— Shirtaloon

11. “Then, figure out how to stay out of my sight, because if I ever see you again, I might just slap you so hard it changes your religion.”

— Shirtaloon

12. “I decided early on that I was going to be who I am and people could take it or leave it. Like me or hate me, I’ll take passion over ambivalence. It lets me know who to avoid and who to be friends with. It makes for a better life.”

— Shirtaloon

13. “He who fights with monsters should look to it that he does not become a monster?”

— Shirtaloon

14. “You want someone to get up, then you get up,” Neil said to Humphrey. “Alright, I will,” Humphrey said, then didn’t so much as twitch. “Am I up?” “No,” Belinda said. “Well, I tried,” Humphrey said. “At least I’ll be able to say I died valiantly.”

— Shirtaloon

15. “Mate, this is the climactic battle and I’m the only one rocking the power of friendship. You’ve got no chance. You better knock out a back-story flashback toot-sweet or it’ll be a total walkover.”

— Shirtaloon

16. “Does it make you feel better to disrespect things others find meaningful?”

— Shirtaloon

17. “An interesting fact about the goddess of knowledge is that she knows everything that anyone in this world knows, including me. Which means she knows a bunch of Mario Kart shortcuts, which is kind of awesome.”

— Shirtaloon

18. “I need to go in the other room. This is getting awkward and I left my thinly-veiled excuse to leave you two alone in there.”

— Shirtaloon

19. “Did you check for an index?” Gary asked. Farrah’s eyes landed on Gary like attack dogs. “I guess there’s no time for research,” Gary said, heading for the stairs. “Let’s go,” Rufus said, following after Gary. Farrah watched them vanish down the steep staircase, then turned to the back of the book. Jason narrowed his eyes as he watched her. “Are you checking for an index?”

— Shirtaloon

20. “I’m suddenly very sleepy. I don’t think being unconscious is actually very restful.”

— Shirtaloon

21. “When you’re just a face in the crowd, then you can hold an ideal without being required to live up to it.”

— Shirtaloon

22. “What about you, Mr Asano? What are you looking for in a woman?” “Evil genius,” Jason said casually. “Evil genius?” she asked, eyebrows raised. “Why not? Smart, confident, assertive, driven. What’s not to like?” “The evil?” Cassandra ventured. “That could be a problem long-term,” Jason acknowledged. “Maybe what I need is a naughty genius.” He thought it over for a moment as an impish grin took over his face. “Yeah,” he said, voice purring. “That sounds exactly right.”

— Shirtaloon

23. “Don’t muddy the waters unless muddy water is useful to you.”

— Shirtaloon

24. “The opposite of good is easy. That may have been the moral of the last Harry Potter book, now that I think about it. Anyway, people don’t do bad things because there is some antagonistic force driving them to sin. They do them because when the right thing is hard, making little compromises doesn’t seem so bad. A shortcut here, a little selfishness when no one will ever know. Every step makes the next one a little easier.”

— Shirtaloon

25. “You already know the question.” “Yet you must ask it. Only then will the responsibility for hearing the answer be yours.”

— Shirtaloon

26. “You should always welcome being proven wrong,” Jason said. “It means your understanding of the world just got a little bit better.”

— Shirtaloon

27. “We’re slowly phasing it out in favour of wealth-based oligarchy, but it’s still around.”

— Shirtaloon

28. “I mean, look at us; we’re no deities, but still. A professional thief and a gold-rank adventurer? The most exciting person I knew at iron-rank was a guy named Brian who could conjure a huge metal duck.”

— Shirtaloon

29. “The trowel looked rather sinister, made out of some kind of black metal with a red sheen. It carried the wear marks of having been used as a planting tool, but also had a razor edge that seemed wholly unnecessary for gardening purposes. “Blood cult?” Jason read unhappily from the item description. “Who gardens with an evil trowel?”

— Shirtaloon

30. “You’re still causing trouble,” the woman said to Jason. “First my son, now my daughter? They may have been worthless, but weren’t for the likes of you to kill.” “Not a lot of pictures up on your fridge, I’m guessing.”

— Shirtaloon

31. “You know butlering isn’t a real genre right.” Jason said. “Given the real genres that is hardly an indictment.” Shade said. “I’m not responsible for the literary failings of your planet. Mister Asano.”

— Shirtaloon

32. “Oh yeah, I found religion, which is kind of a big deal. I didn’t join, but I found it.”

— Shirtaloon

33. “Yes,” Jason said, “I’m not very smart and simple formalities are super-hard to figure out. It’s definitely not that I find them to be a set of arbitrary behavioural norms that serve as a tool of exclusionary tribalism and that eschewing the rituals of cultural performance facilitates the fostering of new relationships by having both sides step out of their preconceived societal modes.”

— Shirtaloon

34. “He leaned in, gently kissed her and stepped back, letting go of her hands. His eyes glistened with tears but he had a familiar, impish grin. “You’re going to miss me, Cassandra Mercer.” “I know.” He turned walked away, without looking back.”

— Shirtaloon

35. “Do you have aristocracy in your world?” “Sure,” Jason said. “We’re slowly phasing it out in favour of wealth-based oligarchy, but it’s still around.”

— Shirtaloon

36. “You’ll have to earn how to fight,” Sophie said. Despite her best efforts, a smile was creeping onto her face. “I know how to fight,” Belinda said. “Kicking a guy in the beans and then running for it is not fighting.” “It got me this far.”

— Shirtaloon

37. “I’m afraid he’s unable to hear you from here, Mr Asano,” Shade said. “If it would save you time, I can explain to him myself that he’s a worthless aggregation of excrement whom the cosmos would be better for wiping off its shoe. Metaphorically speaking.” “I.”

— Shirtaloon

38. “Money and power have to be a means, not an end, or you’ll lead a joyless life.”

— Shirtaloon

39. “It’s all true,” Jason said. “Anyone making all this up would be a real hack.”

— Shirtaloon

40. “Jason’s team was a collection of individuals who learned to dynamically reconfigure their approaches to build varying synergies that maximised their potential in any given circumstance.”

— Shirtaloon

41. “You aren’t a reliable judge when it comes to her. You’re so scared of abusing the power in that indenture contract that you won’t act when you should. But that’s alright. You have friends to help you. And so does she. Let us keep both of you walking in straight lines.” Jason glanced over at Sophie, then nodded. “Alright, Clive,” Jason said. “Thanks, mate.”

— Shirtaloon

42. “Political favour is for today, Mr Asano. Integrity is forever.”

— Shirtaloon

43. “Okay. Sexy teacher Farrah time it is.” “Are you looking to get spanked?” “Is that a trick question? I have been a naughty boy.” “That’s enough out of you,” Farrah said. “Yes, Mistress.” Farrah shook her head. “At least that brings us to the first and most important thing you need to know, which is that everything about you is bad and you shouldn’t do it.”

— Shirtaloon

44. “You don’t get it,” Neil said. “We’re here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and we never actually found out what bubblegum was.”

— Shirtaloon

45. “They’re a stubborn bunch. I mean, look at them. They just got teleported and they’re staring at the sky like it owes them money.”

— Shirtaloon

46. “You shouldn’t trust people who talk about purity too much,” Erika said. “Take your eyes off them, and suddenly, they’re rounding people up into camps.”

— Shirtaloon

47. “The first thing you need to do,” Clive said, “is ignore everything Jason just said because it was nonsense.” “That’s good advice in general,” Farrah added.”

— Shirtaloon

48. “Damn. You missed the last season of Game of Thrones.” “Was it any good?” “It was real good. Extending it to thirteen episodes so they could properly develop the climax was a smart move, after how much they’d been rushing things.” “Last I heard, they were cutting it down to six episodes.”

— Shirtaloon

49. “If you’re so self-aware, then why not fix all that?” “Because they aren’t problems,” Jason said. “They’re part of who I am, and I’m happier with that now than I ever have been.”

— Shirtaloon

50. “Of course,” Denji said, then shook his head. “After all this time, it’s not how this moment was meant to go.” “I wouldn’t worry about it,” Jason said. “Star Wars fans feel like this every time a new movie comes out.”

— Shirtaloon