Top 100 Simon R. Green Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “If you don’t trust anyone, they can’t let you down.”

— Simon R. Green

Featured in: Trust No One Quotes

2. “Revenge is simply justice with teeth.”

— Simon R. Green

3. “There has been peace. There will be peace again. But right now, we have work to do.”

— Simon R. Green

4. “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. And I’m really not in the mood to put up with any more problems.”

— Simon R. Green

5. “First rule of engineering; beware prototypes. Along with, avoid anything made by an engineer who doesn’t have all his own fingers.”

— Simon R. Green

6. “Nothing is hidden, nothing is ever lost, nothing is ever forgotten. That’s always been part of my problem.”

— Simon R. Green

7. “While the cat’s away, you may find the rats getting damned uppity.”

— Simon R. Green

8. “Keep your mind too open, and you never know what might walk in.”

— Simon R. Green

9. “I always feel most alive when everything else is dying all around me.”

— Simon R. Green

10. “When God wanted a city levelled, or all the first-born slaughtered in one night, he sent an angel.”

— Simon R. Green

11. “When you are tired of life, come to Haven. And someone will kill you.”

— Simon R. Green

12. “Sometimes humour is all we have to say the things that can’t be said.”

— Simon R. Green

13. “And we all have the right to go to Hell in our own way.”

— Simon R. Green

14. “Who’s got my Jaffa Cakes? You know I can’t function without Jaffa Cakes.”

— Simon R. Green

15. “This is Nightside,” said Deadboy. “We do ten impossible things before breakfast, just fora cheap thrill. Abandon all taboos, ye who enter here.”

— Simon R. Green

16. “God does so love to make a man break a promise.”

— Simon R. Green

17. “After all, you’re only an immortal until someone manages to kill you. After that, you were just long-lived.”

— Simon R. Green

18. “It’s hard to maintain a reputation for being grim and mysterious when you’re accompanied by a brightly clad young thing, skipping merrily along at your side, holding your hand, and smiling sweetly on one and all.”

— Simon R. Green

19. “Though I often run out of courage and good sense, stubbornness keeps me going.”

— Simon R. Green

20. “Strangefellows’s owner and bartender was a thin pale streak of misery who only wore black because no-one had come up with a darker colour yet.”

— Simon R. Green

21. “Alexandra was tall and blond, with a balcony you could do Shakespeare from.”

— Simon R. Green

22. “Because when you wear a mask long enough, it gets really hard to take it off. The mask becomes your face.”

— Simon R. Green

23. “Most of my relatives could start a fight in an empty room and then lie about who won.”

— Simon R. Green

24. “I am not weird!” I said. “I’m just differently normal.”

— Simon R. Green

25. “Oh come on!” I said. “If Walker couldn’t control me with his Voice, did you really think you stood any chance? I’ve been around. I’ve stepped on worse things than you! I’ve faced angels, from Above and Below! I don’t bow down to anyone! I’m John Taylor!”

— Simon R. Green

26. “A private face behind every public mask, a hidden meaning peeking through whatever words they choose to share with you.”

— Simon R. Green

27. “You know, sometimes I swear the whole universe runs on irony.”

— Simon R. Green

28. “I went to a house that was not a house. I opened a door that was not a door. And what I saw, I saw.”

— Simon R. Green

29. “What is the world coming to, when you can’t even trust a rogue vicar and her demon lover?”

— Simon R. Green

30. “Remember, the way to a vampire’s heart is straight under the sternum, and then lean in hard.’ I.”

— Simon R. Green

31. “I didn’t know if I still had it in me to be really dangerous, but I thought so. It’s like knocking someone off a bike with a baseball bat; you never really lose the knack.”

— Simon R. Green

32. “To show a mask and mirror to the world, and never let them see you’re hurting.”

— Simon R. Green

33. “There are any number of magical creatures, mostly female, whose singing can bring about horror and death. Sirens, undines, banshees, Bananarama tribute bands...”

— Simon R. Green

34. “A vampire was drinking a bloody Mary, and from the look on her face Mary was really getting into it.”

— Simon R. Green

35. “Don’t you dare try to out-gloom me. I’m the only one here entitled to indulge in deep dark existential brooding.”

— Simon R. Green

36. “Next time, I’ll drive,’ I said. ‘Not one of my cars, you won’t. I’ve seen you drive.’ ‘I’m an excellent driver.’ ‘It’s sweet that you think that.”

— Simon R. Green

37. “You have to believe in your dreams because sometimes they believe in you.”

— Simon R. Green

38. “No more shooting from anyone. Or I am going to get seriously cranky with everyone. Suddenly, and violently and all over the place.”

— Simon R. Green

39. “Never go anywhere without condiments. Condiments are our friends.”

— Simon R. Green

40. “She might not have the same survival instincts as us.’ ‘It’s amazing,’ said Jeeves. ‘You keep talking and you keep coming up with things, and yet not one of them is ever remotely comforting.’ ‘It’s a gift,’ I said.”

— Simon R. Green

41. “We are in the dark places of the earth,” said Madman. “Where all the ancient and most dangerous secrets are kept. There are Old Things down here, sleeping all around us, in the earth and in the living rock, and in the spaces between spaces. Keep your voices down. Some of these old creatures sleep but lightly, and even their dreams can have force and substance in our limited world. We have come among forgotten gods and sleeping devils, from the days before the world settled down and declared itself sane.”

— Simon R. Green

42. “I am large. I contain multitudes,” I said solemnly. “Especially on Tuesdays.”

— Simon R. Green

43. “Are you really as good as they say?” “No,” she said calmly. “We’re better.”

— Simon R. Green

44. “And because if you have to hide in the shadows, it helps if you thin out the predators that want to hide in there with you.”

— Simon R. Green

45. “Madness is when all your nightmares have come true and you just don’t care anymore.”

— Simon R. Green

46. “All the assassins that could have come after me, and I had to get a double-jointed contortionist kick-boxer.”

— Simon R. Green

47. “Last night I dreamed I was still human, but now I have woken up, into something better. Farewell, my friends, farewell.”

— Simon R. Green

48. “Let her come,” JC said to Latimer. “She’ll only make a fuss if we don’t.” “Loudly and violently and all over the place,” said Chang.”

— Simon R. Green

49. “Wait. You’ve got principles? We’ll have to update your file.”

— Simon R. Green

50. “Always so ready to say something inappropriate.”

— Simon R. Green