Top 100

Top 150 Sloane Crosley Quotes (2023 Update)

Sloane Crosley Quote: “Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “I have a disproportionate amount of faith in the goodness of the world and that everything will actually work out okay.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Sometimes we don’t know what we want until we don’t get it.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “I can’t see the forest through the trees, except the trees are people.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Every time I open the drawer, it’s a trip down Memory Lane, which, if you don’t turn off at the right exit, merges straight into the Masochistic Nostalgia Highway.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you’ll be grateful for it when you’re older.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “It’s remarkable the logic we’ll build around a misapprehension.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “The year most of my high school friends and I got our driver’s permits, the coolest thing one could do was stand outside after school and twirl one’s car keys like a lifeguard whistle. That jingling sound meant freedom and power.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “You know what they say: ‘Why sit at a table that doesn’t have key lime pie on it if you don’t have to?’”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “I’m a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “I love to bake, so I made vanilla bean and blueberry muffins for sick hospital children. Just kidding! All of that is true except the sick children part.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Most people don’t get lucky. They get human. They get crushes. This means you irrationally mortgage what little logic you own to pay for this one thing. This relationship is an impulse buy, and you’ll figure out if it’s worth it later.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “A lot of people are lonely. A lot of people are lonely even when they’re surrounded by other people.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Teddy bears are best because they understand it’s nice to be alone.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “I thought I’d had another few decades before my noise complaint years.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “You feel like telling him you’re not single in the way that he thinks you’re single. After all, you have yourself.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can’t afford to be with them.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Ah, the power of two. There’s nothing quite like it. Especially when it comes to paying utility bills, parenting, cooking elaborate meals, purchasing a grown-up bed, jumping rope and lifting heavy machinery. The world favours pairs. Who wants to waste the wood building an ark for singletons?”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “My mother is a special education teacher but also an artist, and my father an advertising executive. They are about as wacky as you can get without being alcoholics.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Our culture’s obsession with vintage objects has rendered us unable to separate history from nostalgia. People want heart. They want a chaser of emotion with their aesthetics.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Because this is the beauty of strangers: we’re all just doing our best to help each other out, motivated not by karma but by a natural instinct to help the greater whole.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “There’s already a marriage clock, a career clock, a biological clock. Sometimes being a woman feels like standing in the lobby of a hotel, looking at the dials depicting every time zone in the world behind the front desk – except they all apply to you, and all at once.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “You feel like telling him you’re not single in the way that he thinks you’re single. After all, you have yourself. I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you’re not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Personal technology has given us the freedom of being able to do whatever we want – and in the case of celebrities and athletes, whomever they want. But it can also serve as a humiliation jetpack.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “I was diagnosed with a severe temporal spatial deficit, a learning disability that means I have zero spatial relations skills. It was official: I was a genius trapped in an idiot’s body.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “We all deserve to be congratulated, but sadly that would mean there’s no one left to do the congratulating.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Because I am a horrible flincher, contact lenses are not an option. I’m always envious of contact-wearers. There are endless reasons to take off one’s glasses during the day and, as I have grown older, what I don’t see has become increasingly pronounced.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Alaska is what happens when Willy Wonka and the witch from Hansel and Gretel elope, buy a place together upstate, renounce their sweet teeth, and turn into health fanatics.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “I thought we had reached an understanding, the institution of marriage and I. Weddings are like the triathalon of female friendship: the Shower, the Bachelorette Party, and the Main Event. It’s the Iron Woman and most people never make it through. They fall of their bikes and choke on ocean water.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Not all shabby is chic, just like not every porn actor is a star.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Insomniacs tend to fall into two general categories – those who give up and those who don’t. I don’t. I refuse to admit defeat by turning on the light. I will not try to read or watch a movie, thank you. Productivity is a crutch of the weak.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Are there moments when I see unrequited crushes or ex-boyfriends slow dancing with their dates and kind of want to stab myself in the spleen with a salad fork? Yeah, sure.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Unless we’re talking about old-school, witchcraft-trial violence, can we please phase out the phrase ‘girl crush?’ While we’re at it, if we can axe ‘like, total girl crush’ unless Total Girl Crush is the name of a fizzy soft drink, in which case I’ll take two, thank you.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “The Darkness at Irving. Hope to have as much fun doing anything ever as these guys have on stage.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “At the end of each year, I sit on the floor and go page by page through the old calendar, inking annual events into the new one, all the while watching my year in ‘dinner withs’ skate by. When I’m done, I save the old calendar in the box of the new one and put it with the others on a shelf.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Air travel is the safest form of travel aside from walking; even then, the chances of being hit by a public bus at 30,000 feet are remarkably slim. I also have no problem with confined spaces. Or heights. What I am afraid of is speed.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Kids across the country have grown up accepting the idea that no one can harm your family if at least one of its adult members is in the shower. No one knows why.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “In every woman’s wardrobe, there are certain accessories that cannot be separated from their back stories.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “I am starting to like LA, but the concept of a place you have to get used to so much seems a little weird to me. I have been to many foreign cities where I didn’t have do acclimatize as much as I did to LA.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “I spent a lot of time waiting for things to happen to me, which is more or less as pathetic as it sounds.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “The world I describe is about how people live now. It’s not about zany people with unlimited, inexplicable funds in an apartment somewhere.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “When you spin a globe and point to a city and actually go to that city, you build an allowance of missed opportunities on the back end.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “I have definitely had experiences where I can feel the shift from simply living my life to being slightly outside of my life and taking notes.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “You can’t possibly fathom the ins and outs of a prepubescent beauty treatment until you’ve felt the strange but exhilarating tingle of a cottage-cheese-and-Pop-Rocks facial.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Everything in New York seems to merit preserving. If it’s not historical, it’s personal. If it’s not personal, it’s cultural. But you can’t. You can’t save everything. You just have to pack it up in your brain and take it with you when you go.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Sometimes in New York, you’re walking down the street and you realize there’s a girl walking in front of you whose thighs you could hit a golf ball through, and maybe that makes you depressed.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “Who do you have to sleep with to get laid in this town?”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “I now know my right from my left and my up from my down. Unluckily, my terrible sense of direction remains. For me, to live in New York City is to never be able to meet someone on the northeast corner. It is to never ever make a smooth entrance, always to get caught looking lost on the street.”
Sloane Crosley Quote: “In New York, if you weigh under 200 pounds and decline so much as a cookie at a co-worker’s party, women will flock to your side, assuring you of your appealing physique. This is how skittish we are about the dangers of anorexia and the pressures of body image.”
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