Top 40 Steve Aylett Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “A sniper is like a genius – it’s not enough to be one, you have to be one at something.”

— Steve Aylett

2. “The most amusing thing about a pantomime horse is the necessity of having to shoot it twice.”

— Steve Aylett

3. “A society will manufacture an image of progress and locate it in the direction it wishes to take us.”

— Steve Aylett

4. “One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of God’s existence.”

— Steve Aylett

5. “Sanity’s a virginity of the mind.”

— Steve Aylett

6. “In America, fundamentalist Christians believe the world was created 6,000 years ago – in England people drink in bars that are older than that.”

— Steve Aylett

7. “The great thing about being ignored is that you can speak the truth with impunity.”

— Steve Aylett

8. “An office is a machine for dying.”

— Steve Aylett

9. “A hundred percent of marriages end in divorce, disappearance or death.”

— Steve Aylett

10. “Let us forget the past – this is the only way to be genuinely surprised.”

— Steve Aylett

11. “The optimist sees the future as a rabbit sees the oncoming truck – getting bigger, not closer.”

— Steve Aylett

12. “Hang up the phone on a vampire, the definition of carefree.”

— Steve Aylett

13. “Originality irritates so obscurely that people may have to evolve to scratch it.”

— Steve Aylett

14. “Fractal litigation, whereby the flapping of a butterfly’s wings on one side of the world resulted in a massive compensation claim on the other.”

— Steve Aylett

15. “The best way of getting into something is to think of it as mischief.”

— Steve Aylett

16. “Stab me if you can enjoy it – but not if it feels like a duty. Stab me vertically if I’m lying down and horizontally if I’m running.”

— Steve Aylett

17. “A key and a strangler – this is all a simple tale requires.”

— Steve Aylett

18. “Used a replica gun to steal a replica sportscar and experienced a replica of remorse.”

— Steve Aylett

19. “One thing you’ll say for skeletons, they’ll always give you a smile.”

— Steve Aylett

20. “Gun stripping is the tea ceremony of America.”

— Steve Aylett

21. “The trustiest rule of social disintegration: bars burn last.”

— Steve Aylett

22. “How many times does a man have to shave before his chin gets the message?”

— Steve Aylett

23. “The law is where reality goes to die.”

— Steve Aylett

24. “Dreams always end before you kill the last person.”

— Steve Aylett

25. “Ideas are self-replenishing, like snot.”

— Steve Aylett

26. “Biting enemies seems to be acceptable in a surprisingly narrow range of circumstances, or so a ninja shouted at me once.”

— Steve Aylett

27. “He had long been curious at leaders intermittent calls for a return to past values and had tested the notion by trying to build a house from the sky downwards.”

— Steve Aylett

28. “Since childhood I’d been suspected of imagination.”

— Steve Aylett

29. “I knew books could see people around them, they ground their tiny teeth, tried to rattle like windows, stories to tell.”

— Steve Aylett

30. “He has been positively growing tusks trying to create a breed of human insect which will continue to live on this accursed planet. Everyone needs a goal.”

— Steve Aylett

31. “From space this Earth is incandescent with abominations – the gods write their signature in our entrails.”

— Steve Aylett

32. “Honesty is the voice that is acceptable in every matter.”

— Steve Aylett

33. “Parker always felt things in his bones because, he said, it saved space.”

— Steve Aylett

34. “Most books are so well written they barely have any effect on the reader’s senses.”

— Steve Aylett

35. “I crept in to find my father with pennies on his eyes – and looking closer I saw they were made of foil-covered chocolate. Of course I stole and ate them. Magical guilt? Tell me about it.”

— Steve Aylett

36. “In books there’s nothing of the fish covered in the coldness of the sea, or the feeling of a star touching space. Bad for business.”

— Steve Aylett

37. “Looking at this town with an honest eye was like biting into candy with a mouthful of cavities.”

— Steve Aylett

38. “What happens when the hitcher and the driver are equally murderous?”

— Steve Aylett

39. “What’s life in this nation? Collect emptiness in a household of cornflakes. Transient fuel gobbles attention, the television aches, the truth walks. Scheme worms welcome your corpse, trap clicks and you’re in heaven, bored rigid.”

— Steve Aylett

40. “Like snowflakes, no two fistfights are the same.”

— Steve Aylett