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Top 10 Steven Campbell Quotes (2025 Update)

Steven Campbell Quote: “Can you resurrect dead people?” I asked Delovoa at his place. “Yes,” he said, while drinking his third glass of wine. “You can? How?” “Huh? Oh, I wasn’t listening. What did you say?” I gave him a scowl.”

1. “Can you resurrect dead people?” I asked Delovoa at his place. “Yes,” he said, while drinking his third glass of wine. “You can? How?” “Huh? Oh, I wasn’t listening. What did you say?” I gave him a scowl.”

— Steven Campbell

Steven Campbell Quote: “Oh. I’m probably not a good judge, but he seemed like he deserved a good shooting,” Gun said.”

2. “Oh. I’m probably not a good judge, but he seemed like he deserved a good shooting,” Gun said.”

— Steven Campbell

Steven Campbell Quote: “I am crass. I do people’s crass work for them. I’m a crasshole.”

3. “I am crass. I do people’s crass work for them. I’m a crasshole.”

— Steven Campbell

Steven Campbell Quote: “We were as inconspicuous as a black eye on a bride at her wedding.”

4. “We were as inconspicuous as a black eye on a bride at her wedding.”

— Steven Campbell

Steven Campbell Quote: “As a person, I was not cut out for dancing. Or higher mathematics. Or appreciating minimalist artwork – really, where’s the rest of it? Or running.”

5. “As a person, I was not cut out for dancing. Or higher mathematics. Or appreciating minimalist artwork – really, where’s the rest of it? Or running.”

— Steven Campbell

Steven Campbell Quote: “I kept forgetting that other people had personal lives. It was damn inconsiderate of them, really.”

6. “I kept forgetting that other people had personal lives. It was damn inconsiderate of them, really.”

— Steven Campbell

Steven Campbell Quote: “I hastened away like a little girl who saw a rat and it had pulled a knife on her.”

7. “I hastened away like a little girl who saw a rat and it had pulled a knife on her.”

— Steven Campbell

Steven Campbell Quote: “Always avoid the conflict that’s closest to impact. The ones further down the road may never reach you.”

8. “Always avoid the conflict that’s closest to impact. The ones further down the road may never reach you.”

— Steven Campbell

Steven Campbell Quote: “Still, I couldn’t say sorry. That would make me look like some incompetent idiot – which I was – but I didn’t want them to know that. So I just held my ground and looked mean.”

9. “Still, I couldn’t say sorry. That would make me look like some incompetent idiot – which I was – but I didn’t want them to know that. So I just held my ground and looked mean.”

— Steven Campbell

Steven Campbell Quote: “We had a good method for dealing with drunks provided there were few enough of them. We just blasted them with cold fire extinguishers for about twenty seconds. At first they would laugh. Then they would choke. Then they would feel their skin freezing. Your body is good at getting you undrunk really quick. Or at the least making you put your clothes back on and stop licking buildings.”

10. “We had a good method for dealing with drunks provided there were few enough of them. We just blasted them with cold fire extinguishers for about twenty seconds. At first they would laugh. Then they would choke. Then they would feel their skin freezing. Your body is good at getting you undrunk really quick. Or at the least making you put your clothes back on and stop licking buildings.”

— Steven Campbell

Steven Campbell Quote: “The enthusiasm evaporated from the room like a fart sucked into space.”

11. “The enthusiasm evaporated from the room like a fart sucked into space.”

— Steven Campbell

Steven Campbell Quote: “I’m exactly the same person wasted as sober. I just sweat a lot more and spit when I talk.”

12. “I’m exactly the same person wasted as sober. I just sweat a lot more and spit when I talk.”

— Steven Campbell

Steven Campbell Quote: “I took my autocannon off my back and swung it around to my front, holding it like I meant business. Every gun means business, that’s what they’re for. Laugh all you want at a little .22, you get shot by one you’re not laughing. But an autocannon that hurls a grenade four or eight or whatever miles, takes business to a whole other level. It was an advanced degree in business.”

13. “I took my autocannon off my back and swung it around to my front, holding it like I meant business. Every gun means business, that’s what they’re for. Laugh all you want at a little .22, you get shot by one you’re not laughing. But an autocannon that hurls a grenade four or eight or whatever miles, takes business to a whole other level. It was an advanced degree in business.”

— Steven Campbell

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