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Top 10 Stuart MacBride Quotes (2025 Update)

Stuart MacBride Quote: “Honestly, some days it’s like trying to get an angry ginger tom into a pair of Lycra cycling shorts.”
Stuart MacBride Quote: “The day was dark as a lawyer’s soul.”
Stuart MacBride Quote: “Must be nice to be a seagull. You eat, you sleep, you shag, and if you’re having a bad day you can shite on everyone from a great height. Doesn’t even have to be a bad day, you can do it just for fun.”
Stuart MacBride Quote: “The trouble with Scotland is a bunch of numpties saw Braveheart and now they think if we could only sod about the hills in kilts all day, flashing our arses at the English, somehow everything will be all right.”
Stuart MacBride Quote: “Nah, mostly they’re just students. Bit of weed, bit of booze, bit of studying, bit of pining away in their rooms wondering why nobody wants to shag them.”
Stuart MacBride Quote: “But in a fit of inspiration he’d fashioned a balaclava from a Tesco carrier bag – the handles tied beneath his chin.”
Stuart MacBride Quote: “Mr Cameron Anderson was in his mid-twenties and hailed from Edinburgh: which explained why he had a first name like Cameron.”
Stuart MacBride Quote: “Logan didn’t know which was worse – discovering your husband was a lying, adulterous bastard, or a dismembered corpse.”
Stuart MacBride Quote: “That’s the trouble with care in the community – nobody does.”
Stuart MacBride Quote: “Where Insch was bald, Steel looked as if someone had sellotaped a Cairn terrier to her head. Rumour had it she was only forty-two, but she looked a lot older. Years of chain smoking had left her face looking like a holiday home for lines and wrinkles.”
Stuart MacBride Quote: “Logan battered to the end of ‘Started Out With Nothin’, drove in silence for a minute, then launched into ‘Living Is a Problem Because Everything Dies’. Making up half of the words as he went along.”
Stuart MacBride Quote: “Should probably do.”
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