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Top 70 Tim Allen Quotes (2025 Update)
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Tim Allen Quote: “Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.”

51. “Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.”

Tim Allen Quote: “Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.”

52. “Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.”

Tim Allen Quote: “When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.”

53. “When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.”

Tim Allen Quote: “Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end.’ Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.”

54. “Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end.’ Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.”

Tim Allen Quote: “I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.”

55. “I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.”

Tim Allen Quote: “The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend to want to keep it that way, and I’ve always loved that about the hunters that I’ve known. They eat what they kill, and they carry it out. They don’t shoot for sport.”

56. “The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend to want to keep it that way, and I’ve always loved that about the hunters that I’ve known. They eat what they kill, and they carry it out. They don’t shoot for sport.”

Tim Allen Quote: “I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.”

57. “I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.”

Tim Allen Quote: “If man evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?”

58. “If man evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?”

Tim Allen Quote: “I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.”

59. “I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.”

Tim Allen Quote: “In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.”

60. “In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.”

Tim Allen Quote: “Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.”

61. “Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.”

Tim Allen Quote: “I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.”

62. “I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.”

Tim Allen Quote: “They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.”

63. “They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.”

Tim Allen Quote: “I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.”

64. “I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.”

Tim Allen Quote: “My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.”

65. “My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.”

Tim Allen Quote: “Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.”

66. “Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.”

Tim Allen Quote: “I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.”

67. “I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.”

Tim Allen Quote: “For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.”

68. “For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.”

Tim Allen Quote: “I do a lot of family shows.”

69. “I do a lot of family shows.”

Tim Allen Quote: “In the last three years of racing I’ve met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR it’s the same thing. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn’t have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best.”

70. “In the last three years of racing I’ve met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR it’s the same thing. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn’t have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best.”

Tim Allen Quote: “I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.”

71. “I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.”

Tim Allen Quote: “You are a sad, strage little man.”

72. “You are a sad, strage little man.”

Tim Allen Quote: “It’s sad knowing that after something happens, every option to change the past is gone.”

73. “It’s sad knowing that after something happens, every option to change the past is gone.”

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