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Top 20 Tim Conway Quotes (2025 Update)

Tim Conway Quote: “If following Christ has never cost you anything, you’re not following Him.”

1. “If following Christ has never cost you anything, you’re not following Him.”

Tim Conway Quote: “I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter – each time I enter a room I wonder what I’m here after.”

2. “I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter – each time I enter a room I wonder what I’m here after.”

Tim Conway Quote: “I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.”

3. “I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.”

Tim Conway Quote: “It’s hard to be sad when you’re laughing, so I enjoy making people happy.”

4. “It’s hard to be sad when you’re laughing, so I enjoy making people happy.”

Tim Conway Quote: “Fortunately my wife is understanding. When I come home from the races she never asks any questions, if I tell her I just ate a $380 hot dog.”

5. “Fortunately my wife is understanding. When I come home from the races she never asks any questions, if I tell her I just ate a $380 hot dog.”

Tim Conway Quote: “The reason ‘The Carol Burnett Show’ did so well in the ratings is because people were looking for that comfort zone when the whole family sat around and watched television and enjoyed it.”

6. “The reason ‘The Carol Burnett Show’ did so well in the ratings is because people were looking for that comfort zone when the whole family sat around and watched television and enjoyed it.”

Tim Conway Quote: “My career is pretty much over. I’m out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.”

7. “My career is pretty much over. I’m out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.”

Tim Conway Quote: “Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face.”

8. “Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face.”

Tim Conway Quote: “At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn’t much of a future in it.”

9. “At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn’t much of a future in it.”

Tim Conway Quote: “I’ve never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.”

10. “I’ve never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.”

Tim Conway Quote: “I’ve known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we’re about as close as you can get to being a comedy team.”

11. “I’ve known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we’re about as close as you can get to being a comedy team.”

Tim Conway Quote: “A lot of people like to live on laurels that happened 20 or 30 years ago, but it’s nice to get awards. It’s nice to be labeled and things like that, but I’m not sure everybody qualifies.”

12. “A lot of people like to live on laurels that happened 20 or 30 years ago, but it’s nice to get awards. It’s nice to be labeled and things like that, but I’m not sure everybody qualifies.”

Tim Conway Quote: “I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he’s charging me for finding it.”

13. “I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he’s charging me for finding it.”

Tim Conway Quote: “You can’t TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you’ve just got to watch Don as Barney. That’s why I put Don in several of my movies.”

14. “You can’t TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you’ve just got to watch Don as Barney. That’s why I put Don in several of my movies.”

Tim Conway Quote: “I figure you’re only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I’ve always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.”

15. “I figure you’re only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I’ve always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.”

Tim Conway Quote: “Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her.”

16. “Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her.”

Tim Conway Quote: “People enjoy sitting back knowing they won’t hear a lot of four-letter words.”

17. “People enjoy sitting back knowing they won’t hear a lot of four-letter words.”

Tim Conway Quote: “I don’t watch a lot of TV anymore. A lot of it isn’t the kind of thing you can feel comfortable with watching with your kids. And I still feel that way even though, now, my kids are in their 30s.”

18. “I don’t watch a lot of TV anymore. A lot of it isn’t the kind of thing you can feel comfortable with watching with your kids. And I still feel that way even though, now, my kids are in their 30s.”

Tim Conway Quote: “If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I’ve had a great life.”

19. “If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I’ve had a great life.”

Tim Conway Quote: “As a kid I was short and only weighed 95 pounds. And though I was active in a lot of Sports and got along with most of the guys, I think I used comedy as a defense mechanism. You know making someone laugh is a much better way to solve a problem than by using your fists.”

20. “As a kid I was short and only weighed 95 pounds. And though I was active in a lot of Sports and got along with most of the guys, I think I used comedy as a defense mechanism. You know making someone laugh is a much better way to solve a problem than by using your fists.”

Tim Conway Quote: “When I watch TV, I’m embarrassed by some of what’s on.”

21. “When I watch TV, I’m embarrassed by some of what’s on.”

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