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Top 15 Tim Waggoner Quotes (2025 Update)

Tim Waggoner Quote: “The vampire behind the registration desk gazed at me with a blank, lifeless expression that would’ve done the most burnt-out office worker back on Earth proud. In fact, the resemblance was so uncanny I wondered if most drone jobs back home were staffed by vampires. It would explain a lot.”

1. “The vampire behind the registration desk gazed at me with a blank, lifeless expression that would’ve done the most burnt-out office worker back on Earth proud. In fact, the resemblance was so uncanny I wondered if most drone jobs back home were staffed by vampires. It would explain a lot.”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “There are worse things than death in this town and they’re usually standing a few inches behind you, ready to reach out and grab you when you least expect it.”

2. “There are worse things than death in this town and they’re usually standing a few inches behind you, ready to reach out and grab you when you least expect it.”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “Talaith sat upon an airborne throne of black marble held aloft by a pair of giant flapping raven’s wings growing from the throne’s back. Despite myself, I was impressed. Much classier than a broom or carpet.”

3. “Talaith sat upon an airborne throne of black marble held aloft by a pair of giant flapping raven’s wings growing from the throne’s back. Despite myself, I was impressed. Much classier than a broom or carpet.”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “It was a weird feeling knowing that people were looking to me for help – and frustrating too. You save the damn city a couple times, and suddenly everyone expects miracles from you.”

4. “It was a weird feeling knowing that people were looking to me for help – and frustrating too. You save the damn city a couple times, and suddenly everyone expects miracles from you.”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “We had to rescue Tavi – or what was left of him – but the question was how? We couldn’t exactly walk up to Titanus, give him a stern look, and say, “Bad dinosaur! You spit that out now!”

5. “We had to rescue Tavi – or what was left of him – but the question was how? We couldn’t exactly walk up to Titanus, give him a stern look, and say, “Bad dinosaur! You spit that out now!”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “No lawyers in Nekropolis. They’re too scary even for this city.”

6. “No lawyers in Nekropolis. They’re too scary even for this city.”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “Devona picked up my head-and-hands combo and perched me on her shoulder as if she were a vampirate and I her zombie parrot.”

7. “Devona picked up my head-and-hands combo and perched me on her shoulder as if she were a vampirate and I her zombie parrot.”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “No one knows where they came from, whether they’re the result of some unnatural twist of evolution or the unexpected outcome of some bizarre magical or scientific experiment. No one believes they were created on purpose, though. There isn’t a sorcerer or scientist insane enough to even contemplate such a thing, let alone actually do it. Chiranha are a cross between piranha and Chihuahua, and as silly as that might sound, no one in Nekropolis laughs at them.”

8. “No one knows where they came from, whether they’re the result of some unnatural twist of evolution or the unexpected outcome of some bizarre magical or scientific experiment. No one believes they were created on purpose, though. There isn’t a sorcerer or scientist insane enough to even contemplate such a thing, let alone actually do it. Chiranha are a cross between piranha and Chihuahua, and as silly as that might sound, no one in Nekropolis laughs at them.”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “Look, anything that has eyes all over its body should know better than to attack someone. It’s like wearing armor made out of your own testicles.”

9. “Look, anything that has eyes all over its body should know better than to attack someone. It’s like wearing armor made out of your own testicles.”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “Demon’s Roost is a paean to pleasure, a twenty-four-hour-a-day bacchanalia that makes Las Vegas look like a kindergarten playground. It’s an adults-only amusement park which contains such a dazzling scope and variety of decadence and perversity that it might give Caligula himself pause.”

10. “Demon’s Roost is a paean to pleasure, a twenty-four-hour-a-day bacchanalia that makes Las Vegas look like a kindergarten playground. It’s an adults-only amusement park which contains such a dazzling scope and variety of decadence and perversity that it might give Caligula himself pause.”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “Imagine giant trapdoor spiders hopped up on golf ball-sized amphetamines.”

11. “Imagine giant trapdoor spiders hopped up on golf ball-sized amphetamines.”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “Lazlo doesn’t believe in seatbelts. He says they show a serious lack of faith in a driver.”

12. “Lazlo doesn’t believe in seatbelts. He says they show a serious lack of faith in a driver.”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “Argus had a thing for highlander ale – made with real Scotsmen.”

13. “Argus had a thing for highlander ale – made with real Scotsmen.”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “As the three of us walked, we caught the occasional glimpse of a shambling thing lurking in an alley or dark eyes peering through broken shutters in an abandoned building, but we made sure not to disturb them and they in turn didn’t seek to devour our souls. A good arrangement all the way around, as far as I was concerned.”

14. “As the three of us walked, we caught the occasional glimpse of a shambling thing lurking in an alley or dark eyes peering through broken shutters in an abandoned building, but we made sure not to disturb them and they in turn didn’t seek to devour our souls. A good arrangement all the way around, as far as I was concerned.”

— Tim Waggoner

Tim Waggoner Quote: “Evil dies tonight!”

15. “Evil dies tonight!”

— Tim Waggoner

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