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Top 30 Timur Vermes Quotes (2025 Update)

Timur Vermes Quote: “But with superior morale, with an unwavering, fanatical spirit, everything is possible!”

1. “But with superior morale, with an unwavering, fanatical spirit, everything is possible!”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “Hitler Youth Ronaldo! Which way to the street?”

2. “Hitler Youth Ronaldo! Which way to the street?”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “It’ll be like putting socks on an octopus.”

3. “It’ll be like putting socks on an octopus.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “One never knows when and why such people start talking; frequently they only open their mouths because they realize they haven’t said anything yet, or because they’re worried that if they continue to remain silent they will be regarded as insignificant.”

4. “One never knows when and why such people start talking; frequently they only open their mouths because they realize they haven’t said anything yet, or because they’re worried that if they continue to remain silent they will be regarded as insignificant.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “One must undertake everything with utter, fanatical determination. Or one will get nowhere.”

5. “One must undertake everything with utter, fanatical determination. Or one will get nowhere.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “Great art must not be sullied by politics. One would never, after all, seek to embellish the Mona Lisa, not even with a swastika.”

6. “Great art must not be sullied by politics. One would never, after all, seek to embellish the Mona Lisa, not even with a swastika.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “And oh, how a warrior drunk on victory can enchant a young woman.”

7. “And oh, how a warrior drunk on victory can enchant a young woman.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “Wenn man einen Mozart irgendwo hinsetzt, man gibt ihm aber kein Klavier – merkt dann auch niemand, dass das ein Genie ist.”

8. “Wenn man einen Mozart irgendwo hinsetzt, man gibt ihm aber kein Klavier – merkt dann auch niemand, dass das ein Genie ist.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “We all know, of course, what to make of our newspapers. The deaf man writes down what the blind man has told him, the village idiot edits it, and their colleagues in the other press houses copy it. Each.”

9. “We all know, of course, what to make of our newspapers. The deaf man writes down what the blind man has told him, the village idiot edits it, and their colleagues in the other press houses copy it. Each.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “Such people never focus on their own goal, they always elect to pursue the goal which promises the most rapid success, and yet fail to recognise that this success will never be their own.”

10. “Such people never focus on their own goal, they always elect to pursue the goal which promises the most rapid success, and yet fail to recognise that this success will never be their own.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “Silence is often underestimated.”

11. “Silence is often underestimated.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “In my opinion, only bakers need to work early in the morning. And the Gestapo, of course – that is self-evident. To tear the Bolshevist rabble from their beds, so long as they are not Bolshevist bakers. For they would already be awake, and thus the Gestapo, for their part, would have to get up even earlier, and so on and so forth.”

12. “In my opinion, only bakers need to work early in the morning. And the Gestapo, of course – that is self-evident. To tear the Bolshevist rabble from their beds, so long as they are not Bolshevist bakers. For they would already be awake, and thus the Gestapo, for their part, would have to get up even earlier, and so on and so forth.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “In Berlin I have time and again met people who make no secret of the fact that their only reason for stirring at such an ungodly hour of the morning is so that they can leave the office earlier in the afternoon. I have suggested to several of these eight-hour logicians that they ought to start work at ten o’clock at night, thereby allowing them to leave at six in the morning and perhaps even arrive home before it is time to get up.”

13. “In Berlin I have time and again met people who make no secret of the fact that their only reason for stirring at such an ungodly hour of the morning is so that they can leave the office earlier in the afternoon. I have suggested to several of these eight-hour logicians that they ought to start work at ten o’clock at night, thereby allowing them to leave at six in the morning and perhaps even arrive home before it is time to get up.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “An idiot who does idiotic things is not funny.”

14. “An idiot who does idiotic things is not funny.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “The Reichsmark was no longer legal tender, even though others – probably some clueless dilettantes on the side of the victorious powers – had clearly adapted my plan to turn it into a European-wide currency. At any rate, transactions were now being carried out in an artificial currency called “euro,” regarded, as one would expect, with a high level of mistrust. I could have told those responsible that this would be the case.”

15. “The Reichsmark was no longer legal tender, even though others – probably some clueless dilettantes on the side of the victorious powers – had clearly adapted my plan to turn it into a European-wide currency. At any rate, transactions were now being carried out in an artificial currency called “euro,” regarded, as one would expect, with a high level of mistrust. I could have told those responsible that this would be the case.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “Had I known back then just how cheap it was to employ Poles, I might as well have leapfrogged their country.”

16. “Had I known back then just how cheap it was to employ Poles, I might as well have leapfrogged their country.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “We all know, of course, what to make of our newspapers. The deaf man writes down what the blind man has told him, the village idiot edits it, and their colleagues in the other press houses copy it. Each story is doused afresh with the same stagnant infusion of lies, so that the “splendid” brew can then be served up to a clueless Volk.”

17. “We all know, of course, what to make of our newspapers. The deaf man writes down what the blind man has told him, the village idiot edits it, and their colleagues in the other press houses copy it. Each story is doused afresh with the same stagnant infusion of lies, so that the “splendid” brew can then be served up to a clueless Volk.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “One must choose the apposite moment to crush one’s political opponent. Not when he has nothing to say. But when he is attempting to say something.”

18. “One must choose the apposite moment to crush one’s political opponent. Not when he has nothing to say. But when he is attempting to say something.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “As always when people are overtaxed creatively, they come up with the most dubious suggestions.”

19. “As always when people are overtaxed creatively, they come up with the most dubious suggestions.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “A large number of people had already gathered in the city centre to demonstrate against the government. Seemingly it had occurred to no-one to opt for the most obvious solution – stormtroopers.”

20. “A large number of people had already gathered in the city centre to demonstrate against the government. Seemingly it had occurred to no-one to opt for the most obvious solution – stormtroopers.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “And stop smoking,” I yelled after him. “You smell like cheap ham!”

21. “And stop smoking,” I yelled after him. “You smell like cheap ham!”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “Germans today keep their waste more thoroughly separated than their races.”

22. “Germans today keep their waste more thoroughly separated than their races.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “In your heart of hearts, I believe all of you around this table know what this country needs.”

23. “In your heart of hearts, I believe all of you around this table know what this country needs.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “I had preached again and again that one must never finish off the east for good, that a certain element of conflict must always remain, that a healthy Volk needs a war every twenty five years for the renewal of its blood.”

24. “I had preached again and again that one must never finish off the east for good, that a certain element of conflict must always remain, that a healthy Volk needs a war every twenty five years for the renewal of its blood.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “There are always advantages to having reached a certain time in one’s life. I am most pleased that I did not come to politics until I was thirty, an age when a man finds his peace physically and sexually, and thus can focus all his energies on his actual goals, without his time and steel forever being purloined by the impulses of physical love.”

25. “There are always advantages to having reached a certain time in one’s life. I am most pleased that I did not come to politics until I was thirty, an age when a man finds his peace physically and sexually, and thus can focus all his energies on his actual goals, without his time and steel forever being purloined by the impulses of physical love.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “You can forget Stalin,” he said, pledging his allegiance. “We’re not the History Channel.”

26. “You can forget Stalin,” he said, pledging his allegiance. “We’re not the History Channel.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “What kinds of truths were being hidden? Were there lying turnips? Were there lying leeks?”

27. “What kinds of truths were being hidden? Were there lying turnips? Were there lying leeks?”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “I will never be that man who spends weeks and months crying over an old house! I am the man who builds a new house. A better, a stronger, a more beautiful house. But in this, I can only play the modest role which Providence has assigned to me. I can only be a small, modest architect for this house. The master builder is, and must always remain, the german Volk.”

28. “I will never be that man who spends weeks and months crying over an old house! I am the man who builds a new house. A better, a stronger, a more beautiful house. But in this, I can only play the modest role which Providence has assigned to me. I can only be a small, modest architect for this house. The master builder is, and must always remain, the german Volk.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “The telephone, it struck me at that moment, is the wrong means of communication for people without ears.”

29. “The telephone, it struck me at that moment, is the wrong means of communication for people without ears.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “Wherever there is a large motorway enabling the transport of ton after ton of German goods, you will inevitably find a sweet little rabbit trembling by the roadside.”

30. “Wherever there is a large motorway enabling the transport of ton after ton of German goods, you will inevitably find a sweet little rabbit trembling by the roadside.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “Someone with whom I was unacquainted had turned to me with a military problem, and as I was currently without a state to govern I decided to lend my comrade my support. Thus I spent the following three and a half hours engaged in a naval exercise by the name of “Minesweeper.”

31. “Someone with whom I was unacquainted had turned to me with a military problem, and as I was currently without a state to govern I decided to lend my comrade my support. Thus I spent the following three and a half hours engaged in a naval exercise by the name of “Minesweeper.”

— Timur Vermes

Timur Vermes Quote: “How many more bombs would we have to drop on their cities before they realized that we were friends?”

32. “How many more bombs would we have to drop on their cities before they realized that we were friends?”

— Timur Vermes

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