Top 100

Top 100 Tucker Max Quotes (2024 Update)

Tucker Max Quote: “Yes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but everyone forgets the second half of that quote: the road to heaven is paved with good actions.”
Tucker Max Quote: “Your beliefs don’t make you a better person. Your behavior does.”
Tucker Max Quote: “In training, there is no winning or losing. There is only learning.”
Tucker Max Quote: “The meaning of life is to create meaning for your life.”
Tucker Max Quote: “I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.”
Tucker Max Quote: “Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.”
Tucker Max Quote: “Fat girls aren’t real people.”
Tucker Max Quote: “I tell the truth, and truth is the ultimate defense against libel.”
Tucker Max Quote: “One of life’s great secrets: women don’t look for handsome men, they look for men with beautiful women.”
Tucker Max Quote: “Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as ‘deserving’ respect; you get what you demand from people.”
Tucker Max Quote: “I think 20th century media were about tricking people – and the beauty of the Internet is you can’t lie anymore.”
Tucker Max Quote: “The hardest lesson I’ve had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.”
Tucker Max Quote: “The result of my hard work is that I’m financially independent, I have an amazing life, and I can do whatever I want. I don’t have to answer to anybody.”
Tucker Max Quote: “As a general rule, whenever guys have problems approaching girls, it’s because they’re afraid of rejection or they’re afraid of something specific. The way that you get over a fear like that is you figure out what the worst is that can happen.”
Tucker Max Quote: “No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog.”
Tucker Max Quote: “Getting offended is a great way to avoid answering questions that make you sound dumb.”
Tucker Max Quote: “Failure instructs, failure improves. Failure shouldn’t deter you.”
Tucker Max Quote: “No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.”
Tucker Max Quote: “Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become.”
Tucker Max Quote: “Listen to authority figures because of their position, but only believe them if they can explain why.”
Tucker Max Quote: “That’s the beauty of alcohol. If you don’t remember it, it didn’t happen.”
Tucker Max Quote: “I masterbate in the shower. My action figures judge me. Especially the Justice League.”
Tucker Max Quote: “Tell beautiful women they are smart, and smart women they are beautiful.”
Tucker Max Quote: “If your parents ignored you, or if they are just not emotionally available, or if they yell a lot, that is a type of trauma.”
Tucker Max Quote: “If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they’re bad people.”
Tucker Max Quote: “I’m sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.”
Tucker Max Quote: “I laugh at people who say things like ‘I’m a good person, I just do bad things.’ No, that’s not how it works. What you do IS who you are.”
Tucker Max Quote: “A lot of people think that since I’m drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It’d be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, “Why aren’t you in your basketball uniform?” I leave out way more than I put in.”
Tucker Max Quote: “You show me a truly funny girl who doesn’t have emotional issues, and I’ll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.”
Tucker Max Quote: “Most people’s lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear.”
Tucker Max Quote: “There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends.”
Tucker Max Quote: “To my friends and people I care about, I’m a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that’s not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.”
Tucker Max Quote: “The haters always scream the loudest.”
Tucker Max Quote: “You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That’s what it’s like listening to you speak.”
Tucker Max Quote: “You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.”
Tucker Max Quote: “I could never kill myself. What if it doesn’t work. Then I’ll have failed at the only thing that could save me from my failures. Where do you go from there?”
Tucker Max Quote: “You know that look a cop gives you when he’s so confused that he doesn’t even know how to respond? If you don’t know that look, it means you haven’t had enough fun in your life.”
Tucker Max Quote: “I hated being a lawyer and I wanted to like myself and like my job.”
Tucker Max Quote: “If you wear Crocs on a first date.”
Tucker Max Quote: “The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.”
Tucker Max Quote: “I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don’t even remember saying.”
Tucker Max Quote: “Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.”
Tucker Max Quote: “I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.”
Tucker Max Quote: “Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities.”
Tucker Max Quote: “Probably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we’re tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn’t.”
Tucker Max Quote: “This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.”
Tucker Max Quote: “The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above “functionally retarded”.”
Tucker Max Quote: “At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.”
Tucker Max Quote: “I’ve come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.”
Tucker Max Quote: “I think that there’s a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there’s not being much written for them.”
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