1. “If you want to pull someone out of a deep hole, do you jump in after her? Now that you are in the hole with her, you will not be able to help her out. When you observe that your loved one has a problem, and you jump into it, flounder in the problem pool, and swim laps with her, you are engaging in an exercise in futility that will not help either of you. You need to balance becoming a participant in your loved one’s world with being an observer of her world, staying outside while going inside.”
2. “People with BPD tend to judge themselves and others in extreme ways. They will often use excessively positive terms, idealizing or glorifying, or excessively negative terms, demonizing or devaluing themselves or others. They look at themselves with harsh and critical negative self-judgments that increase their sense of shame.”
3. “Gwen, a woman with BPD, talks about her inability to decipher the world around her. “On the day I was born, all the newborn babies got on a line to meet God and to get their How to Act in All Situations Throughout Life book. When it was my turn, God had run out of the book. Ever since that day, I have been looking over other people’s shoulders so that I could read their book and know how to act.”
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