Top 40 Various Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “The Holy Scripture is the only sufficient, certain, and infallible rule of all saving knowledge, faith, and obedience, although the light of nature, and the works of creation and providence do so far manifest the goodness, wisdom, and power of God, as to leave men inexcusable; yet are they not sufficient to give that knowledge of God and his will which is necessary unto salvation.”

— Various

2. “I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.”

— Various

3. “There is nothing so dangerous in this world as liberty, except the lack of it.”

— Various

4. “Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted!”

— Various

5. “Then Johnny asks the teacher, “You see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor. One is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream. Which one is married?” And the teacher responds, “The one sucking her ice cream.” Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

— Various

6. “How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four. One to change it and the other three to deny it.”

— Various

7. “We have enough youth – how about a fountain of smart?”

— Various

8. “Nothing created has ever been able to fill the heart of man. God alone can fill it infinitely. – ST. THOMAS AQUINAS.”

— Various

9. “Destroy the mosque! Destroy the temple! Destroy whatever you please. Do not break the human heart, For God Dwells therein!”

— Various

10. “Teacher: Where is your homework? Billy: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.”

— Various

11. “Secrets of religion have I not unravelled, Nor have I fathomed Eve and Adam. Neither still nor moving on, I have not chosen my own name!”

— Various

12. “Yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.”

— Various

13. “Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business and one of the hookers said, “Yep, it’s gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air.” The other hooker looked at her and said, “No, no. I just burped.”

— Various

14. “Blow, blow, thou winter wind, Thou art not so unkind As man’s ingratitude.”

— Various

15. “Well, they little know what women are. Women are slow to rouse, but once they are aroused, once they are determined, nothing on earth and nothing in heaven will make women give way.”

— Various

16. “We women, in trying to make our case clear, always have to make as part of our argument, and urge upon men in our audience the fact – a very simple fact – that women are human beings.”

— Various

17. “This world is dark, few only can see here;.”

— Various

18. “I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day.”

— Various

19. “What’s the difference between sin and shame?”

— Various

20. “The Reformed Presbyterian Churches of Scotland and Ireland are the only Churches within the British Dominions that take this position of political dissent.”

— Various

21. “Beautiful Savior! Lord of all the nations! Son of God and Son of Man! Glory and honor, praise, adoration, Now and forever more be Thine.”

— Various

22. “The young Church of Scotland was based on the Word of God, anti-papal, free, reformed, and covenanting, and in that character acknowledged by the State.”

— Various

23. “As a woman, I owe the world nothing in terms of my fertility. I am a human being and, mother or not, as a person, it is my basic human right to control, plan, and choose the size of my family. I wish this right for all people.”

— Various

24. “No, their weapons will not be carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds. They will go to the Covenant God of the kingdom, and they will stand before Him, saying, “Thine are we, David, and on thy side, thou son of Jesse.” Scotland will renew her covenant with God. The.”

— Various

25. “Father; as we run the race You set before us this year, let us run with endurance, not allowing anything to distract us from the goal of Christ-likeness.”

— Various

26. “Him I call indeed a Brahmana who is bright like the moon, pure, serene, undisturbed, and in whom all gaiety is extinct.”

— Various

27. “Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months? Because on the box it said ‘From 2 to 4 years.”

— Various

28. “Man does not have to go farther than his own inner experience of the soul’s contemplation of this spiritual-reality presence to find God and attempt communion with him.”

— Various

29. “It was not militant at all, except that it provoked militancy on the part of those who were opposed to it.”

— Various

30. “Q: What’s the best way to ensure that you’ll always remember your wife’s birthday? A: Forget it once.”

— Various

31. “We are showing them that government does not rest upon force at all; it rests upon consent. As long as women consent to be unjustly governed, they can be, but if directly women say : ‘We withhold our consent, we will not be governed any longer so long as the government is unjust.’ Not by the forces of civil war can you govern the very weakest woman.”

— Various

32. “What do you get when you cross a Rottweiler with a Collie? A dog who bites off your arm and goes to get help.”

— Various

33. “Nothing is a hindrance more Than fear of losing your good name;.”

— Various

34. “At Edinburgh, in 1557, they entered into “ane Godlie Band,” vowing that “we, by His grace, shall, with all diligence, continually apply our whole power, substance, and our very lives to maintain, set forward and establish the most blessed Word of God.”

— Various

35. “For the sacrament of baptism; how cruel are men grown to their little infants, by keeping of them from the seal of entrance into the kingdom of heaven, and making their children to be just in the same condition with the children of Turks and Infidels?”

— Various

36. “No Christian should ever dare to seek relief from the claims of Christ; it is his honour to acknowledge and live and die for them.”

— Various

37. “Yo momma so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building but got lost on the way down.”

— Various

38. “Hand over the calculator, friends don’t let friends derive drunk.”

— Various

39. “It always has been so. The grievances of those who have got power, commands a great deal of attention; but the wrongs and the grievances of those people who have no power at all are apt to be absolutely ignored. That is the history of humanity right from the beginning.”

— Various

40. “What would happen if you were to cross two snowmen with three vampires? You would get severe frostbite.”

— Various

41. “Those who enter into the possession of valuable estates, secured for them by the toil and struggles of ancestry, do not renounce their estates because they themselves were not consulted in the execution of the title deeds. These deeds of the Covenanters, and the heritage secured by them, were obtained through the noblest sacrifices. They were deeds presented before the Throne, and registered in the Court of heaven, and those who repudiate them incur the risk of an awful forfeiture.”

— Various

42. “Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one, Michael J. Fox has a small one, Madonna doesn’t have one, The Pope has one but doesn’t use it, Dominique Strauss-Khan uses his all the time. What is it? A last name! And shame on you for thinking it was something else.”

— Various