Top 60 W.S. Gilbert Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “Life is a joke that’s just begun.”

— W.S. Gilbert

2. “To sit in solemn silence on a dull, dark dock in a pestilential prison with a life-long lock awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock from a cheap and chippy chopper on a big, black block.”

— W.S. Gilbert

3. “Let the punishment fit the crime.”

— W.S. Gilbert

4. “It isn’t so much what’s on the table that matters, as what’s on the chairs.”

— W.S. Gilbert

5. “It’s love that makes the world go round.”

— W.S. Gilbert

6. “Things are seldom what they seem.”

— W.S. Gilbert

7. “It is a glorious thing To be a Pirate King.”

— W.S. Gilbert

8. “When everyone is somebody then no one’s anybody.”

— W.S. Gilbert

9. “Oh, wouldn’t the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at?”

— W.S. Gilbert

10. “There’s a fascination frantic in a ruin that’s romantic.”

— W.S. Gilbert

11. “Life’s a pudding full of plums.”

— W.S. Gilbert

12. “For duty, duty must be done; The rule applies to everyone.”

— W.S. Gilbert

13. “Life’s perhaps the only riddle That we shrink from giving up.”

— W.S. Gilbert

14. “When you are lying awake with a dismal headache, and repose is tabooed by anxiety, I conceive you may use any language you choose to indulge in without impropriety.”

— W.S. Gilbert

15. “If you’re anxious to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare, you must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and plant them everywhere.”

— W.S. Gilbert

16. “My object all sublime I shall achieve in time- To let the punishment fit the crime- The punishment fit the crime.”

— W.S. Gilbert

17. “Oh, don’t the days seem lank and long When all goes right and nothing goes wrong, And isn’t your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!”

— W.S. Gilbert

18. “I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule.”

— W.S. Gilbert

19. “The Law is the true embodiment of everything that’s excellent; it has no kind of fault or flaw and I, my Lords, embody the Law.”

— W.S. Gilbert

20. “Wherever valor true is found, true modesty will there abound.”

— W.S. Gilbert

21. “I am a child of Nature, and take after my mother.”

— W.S. Gilbert

22. “I see no objection to stoutness, in moderation.”

— W.S. Gilbert

23. “See how the Fates their gifts allot, For A is happy-B is not. Yet B is worthy, I dare say, Of more prosperity than A.”

— W.S. Gilbert

24. “I always voted at my party’s call, and I never thought of thinking for myself at all.”

— W.S. Gilbert

25. “In short, whoever you may be, To this conclusion you’ll agree, When every one is somebodee, Then no one’s anybody!”

— W.S. Gilbert

26. “When every blessed thing you have is made of silver, or of gold, you long for simple pewter.”

— W.S. Gilbert

27. “No good play is a success; fine writing and high morals are useless on the stage. I have been scribbling twaddle for thirty-five years to suit the public taste, and I should know.”

— W.S. Gilbert

28. “I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical, From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical.”

— W.S. Gilbert

29. “He did nothing in particular, and did it very well.”

— W.S. Gilbert

30. “Darwinian man, though well-behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved.”

— W.S. Gilbert

31. “The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own.”

— W.S. Gilbert

32. “Is life a boon? If so, it must befall That Death, whene’er he call, Must call too soon.”

— W.S. Gilbert

33. “Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.”

— W.S. Gilbert

34. “I’m really very sorry for you all, but it’s an unjust world, and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances.”

— W.S. Gilbert

35. “You must lie upon the daisies and discourse in novel phrases of complicated state of mind. The meaning doesn’t matter if it’s only idle chatter of a transcendental kind.”

— W.S. Gilbert

36. “The privilege and pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is to run on little errands for the Ministers of State.”

— W.S. Gilbert

37. “Saturday afternoon, although occurring at regular and well-foreseen intervals, always takes this railway by surprise.”

— W.S. Gilbert

38. “Man is nature’s sole mistake.”

— W.S. Gilbert

39. “No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have; and I think he’s a dirty little beast.”

— W.S. Gilbert

40. “There’s fish in the sea, no doubt of it, As good as ever came out of it.”

— W.S. Gilbert

41. “I’m very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.”

— W.S. Gilbert

42. “My family pride is something inconceivable. I can’t help it. I was born sneering.”

— W.S. Gilbert

43. “Spurn not the nobly born with love affected; nor treat with virtuous scorn the well connected.”

— W.S. Gilbert

44. “When a felon s not engaged in his employment, Or maturing his felonious little plans, His capacity for innocent enjoyment Is just as great as any honest mans.”

— W.S. Gilbert

45. “I love my fellow creatures – I do all the good I can – yet everybody says I’m such a disagreeable man!”

— W.S. Gilbert

46. “In all the woes that curse our race there is a lady in the case.”

— W.S. Gilbert

47. “Deerstalking would be a very fine sport if only the deer had guns.”

— W.S. Gilbert

48. “Though I’m anything but clever, I could talk like that forever.”

— W.S. Gilbert

49. “He led his regiment from behind. He found it less exciting.”

— W.S. Gilbert

50. “Ah, pray no mistake, We are not shy; We’re very wide awake The Moon and I.”

— W.S. Gilbert