Top 90 Wanda Sykes Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “When life gives you lemons don’t make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.”

— Wanda Sykes

2. “If you feel like there’s something out there that you’re supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.”

— Wanda Sykes

3. “Mostly everything gets worse before it gets better.”

— Wanda Sykes

4. “If you’re passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.”

— Wanda Sykes

5. “I’m proud to be a woman. I’m proud to be a black woman, and I’m proud to be gay.”

— Wanda Sykes

6. “I don’t like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.”

— Wanda Sykes

7. “I’m here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.”

— Wanda Sykes

8. “I’m a black, gay woman. I think the only way to make the GOP hate me more is if I sent them a video of me rolling around on a pile of welfare checks.”

— Wanda Sykes

9. “I’m a comedian so I’m not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don’t have to wait for somebody else to create my next job; I have the ability to basically write my own ticket.”

— Wanda Sykes

10. “You can’t make a woman happy. That’s like trying to cure a fatal disease. The goal is to treat the symptoms so you can comfortably live with the illness.”

— Wanda Sykes

11. “I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I’ve never found any strange panties in my dog’s house.”

— Wanda Sykes

12. “Men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal.”

— Wanda Sykes

13. “Don’t bother me while I’m eating, or when I’m coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.”

— Wanda Sykes

14. “I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.”

— Wanda Sykes

15. “I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me.”

— Wanda Sykes

16. “There are just so many more laws and rules that apply with marriage that do not come with domestic partnership and also to me it’s the commitment.”

— Wanda Sykes

17. “When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.”

— Wanda Sykes

18. “I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it’s like they weren’t even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing.”

— Wanda Sykes

19. “A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.”

— Wanda Sykes

20. “If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.”

— Wanda Sykes

21. “I’m like, If you do something dumb, I’ll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it’s like you’re kind of asking for it.”

— Wanda Sykes

22. “It’s not until you develop your own voice, your own persona onstage that you become your own comic, who you really are.”

— Wanda Sykes

23. “There’s times when I’m really shy, so these roles that I get to play, they’re how I would love to really be. And that’s why I love doing stand-up, because it gives me the freedom to say what I really want to say. I think that’s why it’s my favorite thing to do.”

— Wanda Sykes

24. “And then also I think it’s harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.”

— Wanda Sykes

25. “It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.”

— Wanda Sykes

26. “I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.”

— Wanda Sykes

27. “People say, ‘Well don’t you regret not having kids?’ And I go, ‘No, not really.’ And then if they keep asking, I always say this, ‘Well, you know, maybe I’ll adopt.’ But I don’t mean that. It’s just something I say to make me sound like a nicer person.”

— Wanda Sykes

28. “Being gay is harder than being black. I didn’t have to come out black. I didn’t have to tell my parents about what its like to be black.”

— Wanda Sykes

29. “As soon as you say ‘I do,’ you’ll discover that marriage is like a car. Both of you might be sitting in the front seat, but only one of you is driving. And most marriages are more like a motorcycle than a car. Somebody has to sit in the back, and you have to yell just to be heard.”

— Wanda Sykes

30. “My worlds collide. When one things happens, it just starts a domino effect – everything else goes on.”

— Wanda Sykes

31. “It wasn’t until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I’m just behind the jokes.”

— Wanda Sykes

32. “Since when did I become the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos?”

— Wanda Sykes

33. “Seriously, I don’t need a gun. I’m easily annoyed. I would shoot people in my house that I invited over.”

— Wanda Sykes

34. “But I understand that relationship; I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it’s so forced.”

— Wanda Sykes

35. “I’m finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am.”

— Wanda Sykes

36. “We never hid anything from the kids. I feel whole again, I really do. I’ve told them, ‘Mommy’s boo-boo is much better now.’”

— Wanda Sykes

37. “I had top-secret clearance and everything. I was working on a couple of projects that would keep me involved in Desert Storm. I was in the mix, which is scary.”

— Wanda Sykes

38. “In ’87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression.”

— Wanda Sykes

39. “When my parents send me emails the first 3 are blank.”

— Wanda Sykes

40. “My neighbor, she invited me to an Elvis party. I told her I couldn’t come ’cause I’d be too busy making fun of her from behind my blinds.”

— Wanda Sykes

41. “I felt like I was being attacked, personally attacked – our community was attacked. Now, I gotta get in their face. I’m proud to be a woman. I’m proud to be a black woman. And I’m proud to be gay.”

— Wanda Sykes

42. “Ok so there’s no TV shows, no movies going on fine, but I love going on stage and performing stand up so my situation is a little better than someone who’s strictly just an actor or actress.”

— Wanda Sykes

43. “Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.”

— Wanda Sykes

44. “But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you’re funny you will get over all of that.”

— Wanda Sykes

45. “To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in mail one day and be like, I’m Secretary of State next month!”

— Wanda Sykes

46. “I have problems with YouTube and things like that, when you catch it mid production. If I’m doing a show and I’m working on a bit and someone’s there with a phone, they record it and put it online – it’s not the finished product.”

— Wanda Sykes

47. “Once you start making money, you can be an ass. But I am not an ass. I’m too lazy, that takes a lot of energy.”

— Wanda Sykes

48. “Yeah, I had top-secret clearance and everything.”

— Wanda Sykes

49. “When my wife and I leave California, I want to have my marriage recognized in Nevada, Arizona, all the way to New York. How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?”

— Wanda Sykes

50. “You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.”

— Wanda Sykes