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Top 15 Wendy Liebman Quotes (2025 Update)

Wendy Liebman Quote: “My mother always said don’t marry for money, divorce for money.”

1. “My mother always said don’t marry for money, divorce for money.”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty.”

2. “I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty.”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.”

3. “I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.”

4. “Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool. I didn’t want to go, because I’ve put on like a hundred pounds.”

5. “I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool. I didn’t want to go, because I’ve put on like a hundred pounds.”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “I get my sense of humor from my parents. That’s why they don’t have one anymore.”

6. “I get my sense of humor from my parents. That’s why they don’t have one anymore.”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.”

7. “My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it’s because the water is cold in there. And I’m like: How did my mother know that?”

8. “I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it’s because the water is cold in there. And I’m like: How did my mother know that?”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “In addition to comedy, I’m a writer. I write checks. They’re not very good.”

9. “In addition to comedy, I’m a writer. I write checks. They’re not very good.”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “I just got my first bikini. It’s a three-piece: a top, a botton, and a blindfold for you.”

10. “I just got my first bikini. It’s a three-piece: a top, a botton, and a blindfold for you.”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.”

11. “My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw ‘How to be a Stand-up Comedian,’ it resonated. I realized I’d rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry.”

12. “I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw ‘How to be a Stand-up Comedian,’ it resonated. I realized I’d rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry.”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “I don’t like to channel surf. You guys like it, don’t you. You guys like to change the channel. We like to change you.”

13. “I don’t like to channel surf. You guys like it, don’t you. You guys like to change the channel. We like to change you.”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “I’ve been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail asking me if I would participate in the Women in Comedy Festival, I was thrilled.”

14. “I’ve been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail asking me if I would participate in the Women in Comedy Festival, I was thrilled.”

— Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman Quote: “I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.”

15. “I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.”

— Wendy Liebman

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