Top 30 Yakov Smirnoff Quotes (2024 Update)

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.”

1. “If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!”

2. “In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!”

3. “In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “The ad in the paper said ‘Big Sale. Last Week.’ Why advertise? I already missed it. They’re just rubbing it in.”

4. “The ad in the paper said ‘Big Sale. Last Week.’ Why advertise? I already missed it. They’re just rubbing it in.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.”

5. “Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.”

6. “Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.”

7. “I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.”

8. “I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.”

9. “The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “It’s kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.”

10. “It’s kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!”

11. “In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.”

12. “Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.”

13. “I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.”

14. “I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.”

15. “If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “In today’s society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.”

16. “In today’s society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.”

17. “My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “Men and women are immigrants in each other’s worlds.”

18. “Men and women are immigrants in each other’s worlds.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.”

19. “When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “I came to America to make it my home, and I did.”

20. “I came to America to make it my home, and I did.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.”

21. “Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.”

22. “In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia’s Soviet Union article? How original.”

23. “A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia’s Soviet Union article? How original.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “I fed my ego, but not my soul.”

24. “I fed my ego, but not my soul.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.”

25. “In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.”

26. “Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing – like showering.”

27. “I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing – like showering.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn’t funny anymore.”

28. “After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn’t funny anymore.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.”

29. “I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody’s minds.”

30. “Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody’s minds.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.”

31. “We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we’ve heard in fairy tales.”

32. “We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we’ve heard in fairy tales.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “Never having alone time is real tough on people.”

33. “Never having alone time is real tough on people.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

Featured in: Real Quotes

Yakov Smirnoff Quote: “Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.”

34. “Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.”

— Yakov Smirnoff

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