1. “Only she and Jes actually know what happened on that street last night. After so many years of keeping secrets about him, she has one with him. She isn’t ready to let go of that yet. The keeping is too delicious, still.”
— Zan Romanoff
2. “People have this idea of what fangirls look like, and she’s not it. She can get away with so much pretending.”
3. “Sometimes fandom functions like an echo chamber.”
4. “And even if she could sheen and buff and polish her surface, the interior would still be what it’s always been: she would still be her wild, messy, impossible self underneath.”
5. “That’s when she started lying to her friends about how she spending her time; that was when fandom went from an occasional hobby to a necessary escape hatch.”
6. “She loves the idea that love can be kept like a secret, that it can grow up through the cracks between things and take you by surprise. That it can be tender and powerful, forbidden and flourishing.”
7. “Plus, it’s not like she would admit to what happened last night even if her mom was here. They just don’t talk about stuff like this, really: boys, bands, feelings.”
8. “She wanted to be with people who loved what she loved. Who felt that love all through them like fire, like light.”
9. “But Land and Solly-the two of them, together-they were her religion. She performed her acts of worship and accorded them all of her faith. Their love was the first mystery, the one that bound the world together.”
10. “Grace thinks of Persephone and the pomegranate seeds. She took something for herself when Jes offered her that first cigarette, and again with her photographs at Holy Communion. And look at her: she’s ended up staying so much longer than she ever thought she’d be allowed to.”
11. “Looking at him, she understands instinctively that beauty and danger are twin edges of the same knife.”
12. “Jes always seemed too obvious. Even girls who didn’t care about Fever Dream knew he was the most beautiful one.”
13. “Whoever she ends up with will walk into her life midway through, and she’ll have to figure out how to make room for him in the middle of all her clutter and mess. She’ll have to figure out how much of herself she can show him without scaring him off.”
14. “The point of fandom was that it was the one place she wasn’t afraid to be anything.”
15. “You don’t have to rebel to grow up,” her mother says. “I always thought you understood that.”
16. “If you’re telling the story, it means you’re still alive. If you’re telling the story, it means you’re still haunted by it too.”
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