Top 60 Allie Brosh Quotes (2024 Update)
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Allie Brosh Quote: “I prepare for my new life as an adult like some people prepare for the apocalypse.”

51. “I prepare for my new life as an adult like some people prepare for the apocalypse.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “To me, the future doesn’t seem real. It’s just this magical place where I can put my responsibilities so that I don’t have to be scared while hurtling toward failure at eight hundred miles per hour.”

52. “To me, the future doesn’t seem real. It’s just this magical place where I can put my responsibilities so that I don’t have to be scared while hurtling toward failure at eight hundred miles per hour.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “I’ve gotten pretty good at making myself feel ashamed. I can even use shame in a theoretical sense to make myself do the right thing BEFORE I do the wrong thing. This skill could be described as “morality,” but I prefer to call it “How Horrible Can I Be Before I Experience a Prohibitive Amount of Shame?”

53. “I’ve gotten pretty good at making myself feel ashamed. I can even use shame in a theoretical sense to make myself do the right thing BEFORE I do the wrong thing. This skill could be described as “morality,” but I prefer to call it “How Horrible Can I Be Before I Experience a Prohibitive Amount of Shame?”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “I followed myself around like a bully, narrating my thoughts and actions with a constant stream of abuse.”

54. “I followed myself around like a bully, narrating my thoughts and actions with a constant stream of abuse.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “But when you’re concerned that the miserable, boring wasteland in front of you might stretch all the way into forever, not knowing feels strangely hope-like.”

55. “But when you’re concerned that the miserable, boring wasteland in front of you might stretch all the way into forever, not knowing feels strangely hope-like.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “So we all just stood there, feeling weird about ourselves and each other.”

56. “So we all just stood there, feeling weird about ourselves and each other.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “If this had been a real emergency, I wouldn’t have had to feel like that for very long. But it wasn’t a real emergency. Two seconds later, nothing had happened to me. And it continued to not happen, and continued to not happen, and continued to not happen. Which, in my opinion, is the biggest problem with not being immediately murdered by unstoppable spirit monsters. You have to figure out what to do with yourself.”

57. “If this had been a real emergency, I wouldn’t have had to feel like that for very long. But it wasn’t a real emergency. Two seconds later, nothing had happened to me. And it continued to not happen, and continued to not happen, and continued to not happen. Which, in my opinion, is the biggest problem with not being immediately murdered by unstoppable spirit monsters. You have to figure out what to do with yourself.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “Procrastination has become a it’s own solution – a tool I can use to push myself so close to disaster that I become terrified and flee towards success.”

58. “Procrastination has become a it’s own solution – a tool I can use to push myself so close to disaster that I become terrified and flee towards success.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “But, as long as you aren’t dead, you need something to do. And surviving is something to do.”

59. “But, as long as you aren’t dead, you need something to do. And surviving is something to do.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “Reality should follow through on what I think it is going to do.”

60. “Reality should follow through on what I think it is going to do.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “The beginning of my depression had been nothing but feelings, so the emotional deadening that followed was a welcome relief. I had always viewed feelings as a weakness-annoying obstacles on my quest for total power over myself. And I finally didn’t have to feel them anymore.”

61. “The beginning of my depression had been nothing but feelings, so the emotional deadening that followed was a welcome relief. I had always viewed feelings as a weakness-annoying obstacles on my quest for total power over myself. And I finally didn’t have to feel them anymore.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “This might be hard to believe, but the reason this happened is because I was trying to be a good person. I don’t know what I’m doing at all, but I’m trying REALLY hard. And trying really hard when you don’t know what you’re doing just happens to be the exact recipe for acting like a fuckin’ weirdo.”

62. “This might be hard to believe, but the reason this happened is because I was trying to be a good person. I don’t know what I’m doing at all, but I’m trying REALLY hard. And trying really hard when you don’t know what you’re doing just happens to be the exact recipe for acting like a fuckin’ weirdo.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “If you can’t win, start playing a different game and score just as many points.”

63. “If you can’t win, start playing a different game and score just as many points.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “We’re going to play a different game now. It’s called “who can yell ‘help’ the loudest and the most.”

64. “We’re going to play a different game now. It’s called “who can yell ‘help’ the loudest and the most.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “I had always viewed feelings as a weakness – annoying obstacles on my quest for total power over myself.”

65. “I had always viewed feelings as a weakness – annoying obstacles on my quest for total power over myself.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “The longer I procrastinate on returning phone calls and emails, the more guilty I feel about it. The guilt I feel causes me to avoid the issue further, which only leads to more guilt and more procrastination. It gets to the point where I don’t email someone for fear of reminding them that they emailed me and thus giving them a reason to be disappointed in me.”

66. “The longer I procrastinate on returning phone calls and emails, the more guilty I feel about it. The guilt I feel causes me to avoid the issue further, which only leads to more guilt and more procrastination. It gets to the point where I don’t email someone for fear of reminding them that they emailed me and thus giving them a reason to be disappointed in me.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “Because, deep down, I know how pointless and helpless I am, and it scares me. I am an animal trapped in a horrifying, lawless environment, and I have no idea what it’s going to do to me. It just DOES it to me.”

67. “Because, deep down, I know how pointless and helpless I am, and it scares me. I am an animal trapped in a horrifying, lawless environment, and I have no idea what it’s going to do to me. It just DOES it to me.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “When I say that deciding to not kill myself was the worst part, I should clarify that I don’t mean it in a retrospective sense. From where I am now, it seems like a solid enough decision. But at the time, it felt like I had been dragging myself through the most miserable, endless wasteland, and – far in the distance – I had seen the promising glimmer of a slightly less miserable wasteland.”

68. “When I say that deciding to not kill myself was the worst part, I should clarify that I don’t mean it in a retrospective sense. From where I am now, it seems like a solid enough decision. But at the time, it felt like I had been dragging myself through the most miserable, endless wasteland, and – far in the distance – I had seen the promising glimmer of a slightly less miserable wasteland.”

— Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quote: “When I encounter someone I haven’t seen in a while, I have never once thought, I should jump at them and poke their face with my fingers and keep doing that until someone locks me in the bathroom. Because that’s insane. What would you think if I did that to your dog friends?”

69. “When I encounter someone I haven’t seen in a while, I have never once thought, I should jump at them and poke their face with my fingers and keep doing that until someone locks me in the bathroom. Because that’s insane. What would you think if I did that to your dog friends?”

— Allie Brosh

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