Top 350 Amy Poehler Quotes (2025 Update)
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201. “I grew up watching skating all the time in the Olympic stuff.”

— Amy Poehler

202. “In the trial of Saddam Hussein on Tuesday, witnesses emotionally testified about the abuse the former dictator inflicted on them. Afterward, a tearful Saddam said, ‘Ah, good times.’”

— Amy Poehler

203. “A top McCain policy adviser claimed this week that McCain’s work in the Senate helped create the BlackBerry, saying, ‘You’re looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create.’ He then handed the BlackBerry to McCain, who attempted to withdraw $20 from it.”

— Amy Poehler

204. “I also love being able to do something that kids and families can enjoy because I have two children of my own and I want them to grow up watching all the fabulous animated movies and cartoons that I loved to watch as a kid.”

— Amy Poehler

205. “I’d say any good set or any comedy that I’ve worked on, that’s worked, has been comedians pitching ideas back and forth to each other. A lot of like, ‘What if you say this? What about this?’”

— Amy Poehler

206. “If you do a scene and you really like a character in it or a premise in it to write it down and to work on it so that you can have five or six characters that you can pull out in an audition.”

— Amy Poehler

207. “Adventure and danger can be good for your heart and soul.”

— Amy Poehler

208. “If you are lucky, there is a moment in your life when you have some say as to what your currency is going to be. I decided early on it was not going to be my looks.”

— Amy Poehler

209. “President Bush threw out the first pitch Monday at Cincinnati’s great American ball park. 18 Iraqis were killed.”

— Amy Poehler

210. “We may all host ourselves to death, and if we’re all dead who will host our funerals?”

— Amy Poehler

211. “Debbie Downer” was one of the few sketches where I broke, and I remember watching Heratio Sanz laugh so hard that tears squirted out of his eyes. I still believe that sketch may be a cure for low-level depression if watched regularly.”

— Amy Poehler

212. “Nothing is more depressing than a tired dominatrix.”

— Amy Poehler

213. “Shame is difficult. It’s a weapon and a signal. It can paralyze or motivate. My friend Louis CK likes to say that “guilt is an intersection” Getting out of it means making a choice and moving forward.”

— Amy Poehler

214. “We were also performing. We’d give them a list of, like, ‘Here’s how we want to be introduced’ They’d be like, ‘Great’ And then 5 minutes later they’d come back, ‘Bad news: we lost your list. But good news: we’ve got a trash bag full of weed!’”

— Amy Poehler

215. “But as my dear friend and relationship sponsor Louis CK has noted, “divorce is always good news because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce.”

— Amy Poehler

216. “I love you and I like you.”

— Amy Poehler

217. “If it’s not funny, you don’t have to laugh.”

— Amy Poehler

218. “Someday you will wake up feeling 51 percent happy and slowly, molecule by molecule, you will feel like yourself again. Or you will lose your mind and turn into a crazy person. Either way, let’s just hope you avoided tattoos, because most are pretty stupid anyway.”

— Amy Poehler

219. “I wrote it ugly and in pieces.”

— Amy Poehler

220. “Short people DO NOT like to be picked up.”

— Amy Poehler

221. “Tall women are attracted to my littleness. I have a lot of tall female friends. They like how I am always looking up to them and I like having the option to jump into their pocket if I want to hide.”

— Amy Poehler

222. “Gone are the days when you took Henry James on the train and read it in front of cute guys to impress them.”

— Amy Poehler

223. “I don’t like crowds because I am small and fear being trampled. My ideal night out is a dinner party in my backyard with a group of like-minded friends whom I boss around in a gentle and loving way.”

— Amy Poehler

224. “Jon Bon Jovi went into his own archives and got out the actual outfit he had worn twenty years before during the Slippery When Wet Tour. It still fit. Jon Bon keeps it tight.”

— Amy Poehler

225. “People work around you and next to you and the universe waits for the perfect time to whisper in your ear, “Look this way.” There is someone in your life right now who may end up being your enemy, your wife, or your boss. Lift up your head and you may notice.”

— Amy Poehler

226. “Anger and embarrassment are often neighbors. Sometimes we get defensive about what we feel guilty about.”

— Amy Poehler

227. “During a recent trip to Amsterdam, she sent me a picture of her smoking marijuana for the first time just because I asked her to.”

— Amy Poehler

228. “The things you have done for me – to help me, support me, surprise me, and make me happy – go above and beyond what any person deserves. You are all I need. I love you and I like you.”

— Amy Poehler

229. “I am interested in people who swim in the deep end. I want to have conversations about real things with people who have experienced real things.”

— Amy Poehler

230. “A word about apologizing: It’s hard to do it without digging yourself in deeper. It’s also scary and that’s why we avoid the pain. We want so badly to plead our case and tell our story. The bad news is that everybody has a story. Everyone has a version of how things went down and how they participated.”

— Amy Poehler

231. “Someday you will wake up feeling 51 percent happy and slowly, molecule by molecule, you will feel like yourself again.”

— Amy Poehler

232. “It’s called Yes Please because it is the constant struggle and often the right answer. Can we figure out what we want, ask for it, and stop talking? Yes please. Is being vulnerable a power position? Yes please. Am I allowed to take up space? Yes please. Would you like to be left alone? Yes please.”

— Amy Poehler

233. “Every mother needs a wife.”

— Amy Poehler

234. “Yes Please is an attempt to present an open scrapbook that includes a sense of what I am thinking and feeling right now. But mostly, let’s call this book what it really is: an obvious money grab to support my notorious online shopping addiction. I have already spent the advance on fancy washcloths from Amazon, so I need this book to really sell a lot of copies or else I am in trouble. Chop-chop, people.”

— Amy Poehler

235. “My generation was obsessed with scoliosis. Judy Blume dedicated an entire novel to it. At least once a month we would line up in the gym, lift our shirts, and bend over, while some creepy old doctor ran his finger up and down our spines. Nuclear war was a high-concept threat, two words that often rang out in political speeches or on the six o-clock news. Our spines. Lice. Nuclear war. The Big Three.”

— Amy Poehler

236. “Imagine spreading everything you care about on a blanket and then tossing the whole thing up in the air. The process of divorce is about loading that blanket, throwing it up, watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break when it lands.”

— Amy Poehler

237. “I had already made a decision early on that I would be a plain girl with lots of personality, and accepting it made everything a lot easier. If you are lucky, there is a moment in your life when you have some say as to what your currency is going to be.”

— Amy Poehler

238. “Adventure and danger can be good for your heart and soul. Violence and desperation are brutal things to search out. Why search out the horror? It’s around us in real ways every day. I’m talking to you, the people who make that movie “The Human Centipede”. No more “Human Centipede” movies please. No more movies about people’s mouths being sewn onto other people’s butts. The whole idea of making and watching a movie like that makes me want to take a ten-year nap.”

— Amy Poehler

239. “If you are lucky, there is a moment in your life when you have some say as to what your currency is going to be. I decided early on it was not going to be my looks. I have spent a lifetime coming to terms with this idea and I would say I am about 15 to 20 percent there. Which I think is great progress.”

— Amy Poehler

240. “I am allowed to have healthy self-esteem.”

— Amy Poehler

241. “Acting lets you escape the real world and make out with people you are not married to. It lets you live in the skin of another person and run away from the person you actually are.”

— Amy Poehler

242. “I still wish this book was just a compendium of searing photographs I took in Afghanistan during my years as a sexy war correspondent, but hey, there is still time.”

— Amy Poehler

243. “People are their most beautiful when they are laughing, crying, dancing, playing, telling the truth, and being chased in a fun way.”

— Amy Poehler

244. “Bedtime is fraught with fear and disappointment. When it is just me alone with my restless body and mind, I feel like the whole world is asleep and gone. It’s very lonely. I am tired of being tired and talking about how tired I am.”

— Amy Poehler

245. “I don’t miss the frustration of youth, the anticipation of love and pain, the paralysis of choices still ahead. The pressure of “What are you going to do?” makes everybody feel like they haven’t done anything yet.”

— Amy Poehler

246. “Some people give their demon so much room that there is no space in their head or bed for love.”

— Amy Poehler

247. “Your brain is not your friend when you need to apologize. Your brain and your ego and your intellect all remind you of the “facts.”

— Amy Poehler

248. “PUDDING IS DELICIOUS.”

— Amy Poehler

249. “I firmly believe that every boy needs his mom to love him and every girl needs her dad to pay attention to her.”

— Amy Poehler

250. “The accent is a really hard thing for me. It reminds me of my family and my childhood, but it’s one of the worst-sounding accents out there. I love Boston, but we sound like idiots.”

— Amy Poehler