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Bill Burr Quotes

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Bill Burr Quote: “Deny your emotions and act like you have answers.”


Bill Burr Quote: “Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.”

Bill Burr Quote: “I think I know how to raise a kid. You just play catch with ’em. You just talk about life, and you distract them by throwing the ball. They don’t even notice that you’re filling up their heads with your theories.”

Bill Burr Quote: “To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I’m just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.”

Bill Burr Quote: “Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.”

Bill Burr Quote: “I am so pro-swine flu it’s ridiculous.”

Bill Burr Quote: “There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you like 17 right off the top of my head.”

Bill Burr Quote: “Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!”

Bill Burr Quote: “I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.”

Bill Burr Quote: “Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.”


Bill Burr Quote: “You have no idea how long a year is until you’re stone sober.”

Bill Burr Quote: “A lot of my fears and anxieties are the fears and anxieties of a six-year-old boy. When I finally confront them, they’re really small.”

Bill Burr Quote: “Haven’t you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald’s has a new sandwich?”

Bill Burr Quote: “Let’s go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.”

Bill Burr Quote: “I still remember the first gig where I got people going, it was Rascals in New Jersey, and the place was packed. I was scared. People were expecting me to be funny. I gotta be honest, every time I walk into a club, it’s that same fear.”

Bill Burr Quote: “I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are really talented and scared to follow their talent because you don’t know where it’s going.”

Bill Burr Quote: “I’m not easy to live with. My wife is a saint.”

Bill Burr Quote: “I’ve never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It’s always the little things that do me in.”

Bill Burr Quote: “My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn’t be funny, but to observe it, it’s hilarious.”

Bill Burr Quote: “Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.”

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