Top 120 Humor Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

— Mark Twain

Also featured in: Blessing Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Witty Quotes

2. “Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.”

— Charlie Chaplin

Also featured in: Funny Friday Quotes, Funny Movie Quotes

3. “I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. ”

— George Carlin

Also featured in: Funny Friday Quotes

4. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”

— Robert Orben

Also featured in: Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes, Startup Quotes, Wealth Quotes, Making Money Quotes

5. “So many books, so little time.”

— Frank Zappa

Also featured in: Time Quotes, Quotes About Books And Reading, Short Quotes, Life Is Short Quotes

6. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

— J.K. Rowling

Also featured in: Fiction Quotes, Clever Quotes, Creative Quotes, Character Quotes

7. “Laughter opens your heart and soothes your soul. No one should ever take life so seriously that they forget to laugh at themselves.”

— Robin S. Sharma

Also featured in: Feel Good Quotes, Life Lessons Quotes, Mind Quotes, Happy Friday Quotes

8. “You live and learn. At any rate, you live.”

— Douglas Adams

Also featured in: Learning Quotes, Experience Quotes, Short Quotes About Life

9. “If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.”

— Theodore Roosevelt

Also featured in: Accountability Quotes, Challenges Quotes, Witty Quotes

10. “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”

— Bill Watterson

Also featured in: Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Space Quotes

11. “To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.”

— Charlie Chaplin

Also featured in: Suffering Quotes, Sorrow Quotes, Pain Quotes

12. “Wit beyond measure is a man’s greatest treasure.”

— J.K. Rowling

Also featured in: Positive Short Quotes, Smart Quotes, Creative Quotes, Witty Quotes

13. “At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.”

— Ann Landers

Also featured in: Experience Quotes, Different Quotes, Funny Senior Quotes

14. “Trust me. I’m a genius.”

— Eoin Colfer

Also featured in: Silly Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Ego Quotes, Genius Quotes

15. “Your pain may give laughter to somebody, but your laughter shouldn’t give pain to anybody.”

— Charlie Chaplin

Also featured in: Be Kind Quotes, Quotes About Laughing

16. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.”

— Reba McEntire

Also featured in: Cute Quotes, Silly Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Different Quotes

17. “When he worked, he really worked. But when he played, he really PLAYED.”

— Dr. Seuss

Also featured in: Cute Quotes, Silly Quotes, Joy Quotes

18. “It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech.”

— Mark Twain

Also featured in: Silly Quotes, Preparation Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes

19. “Programmers can be lazy.”

— Larry Wall

Also featured in: IT Quotes

20. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”

— Charlie Chaplin

Also featured in: Happiness Quotes, Funny Quotes, Positivity Quotes, Feel Good Quotes, Happy Quotes

21. “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

— Yogi Berra

Also featured in: Silly Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Path Quotes, Clever Quotes

22. “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”

— Groucho Marx

Also featured in: Mistake Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life, Short Funny Quotes

23. “There is little success where there is little laughter.”

— Andrew Carnegie

Also featured in: Cheer Quotes, Enjoy Life Quotes

24. “I’m the luckiest unlucky person.”

— Tig Notaro

Also featured in: Short Funny Quotes

25. “Brevity is the soul of wit.”

— William Shakespeare

Also featured in: Short Funny Quotes, Genius Quotes

26. “What you see is what you get.”

— Flip Wilson

Also featured in: Common Sense Quotes, Silly Quotes, Funny Tuesday Quotes

27. “Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world’s original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.”

— Oscar Wilde

Also featured in: Funny Thursday Quotes

28. “I have Many Problems in My Life. But my leaps don’t know that. They always smile.”

— Charlie Chaplin

Also featured in: Smile Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Funny Yearbook Quotes

29. “When there’s an elephant in the room introduce him.”

— Randy Pausch

30. “In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.”

— Mark Twain

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes

31. “Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

— Douglas Adams

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Different Quotes

32. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”

— Charles M. Schulz

Also featured in: Hilarious Quotes, Funny Office Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes, Funny Monday Quotes

33. “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”

— Winston Churchill

Also featured in: Short Funny Quotes

34. “When you say ‘I wrote a program that crashed Windows,’ people just stare at you blankly and say ‘Hey, I got those with the system, for free.’”

— Linus Torvalds

Also featured in: IT Quotes, Funny Work Quotes

35. “I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t laugh.”

— Maya Angelou

Also featured in: Enjoy Life Quotes

36. “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.”

— Michel de Montaigne

Also featured in: Marriage Quotes

37. “The only certain things in life are death and taxes!”

— Benjamin Franklin

Also featured in: Common Sense Quotes

38. “Life is what you make it: If you snooze, you lose; and if you snore, you lose more.”

— Phyllis George

Also featured in: Common Sense Quotes, Silly Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Funny Senior Quotes

39. “Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!”

— Robert Orben

Also featured in: Happiness Quotes, Cute Quotes, Silly Quotes, Friday Quotes

40. “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

— Groucho Marx

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Silly Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Witty Quotes, Funny Work Quotes

41. “It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life.”

— Terry Pratchett

Also featured in: Life Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Different Quotes, Witty Quotes

42. “We don’t laugh because we’re happy, we’re happy because we laugh.”

— William James

43. “Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.”

— Roger Miller

Also featured in: Rainy Day Quotes

44. “You grow up the day you have the first real laugh at yourself.”

— Ethel Barrymore

Also featured in: Growing Up Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes, Quotes About Growing Up

45. “Never, ever underestimate the importance of having fun.”

— Randy Pausch

Also featured in: Happy Friday Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Fun Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes

46. “Laughter attracts joy, releases negativity, and leads to miraculous cures.”

— Rhonda Byrne

Also featured in: Happy Sunday Quotes, Happy Monday Quotes, Happy Wednesday Quotes

47. “Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.”

— J.K. Rowling

Also featured in: Silly Quotes

48. “Don’t cry for a man who’s left you – the next one may fall for your smile.”

— Mae West

Also featured in: Crazy Quotes, Smile Quotes, Broken Heart Quotes

49. “Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.”

— Andy Rooney

Also featured in: Silly Quotes

50. “Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.”

— Groucho Marx

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Marriage Quotes, Romance Quotes, Funny Love Quotes