Top 200 Bill Cosby Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “You can not make everybody happy...”

— Bill Cosby

52. “Gray hair is God’s graffiti.”

— Bill Cosby

53. “Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.”

— Bill Cosby

54. “Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.”

— Bill Cosby

55. “Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in.”

— Bill Cosby

56. “You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who’ve never had any.”

— Bill Cosby

57. “I was a physical education major with a child psychology minor at Temple, which means if you ask me a question about a child’s behavior, I will advise you to tell the child to take a lap.”

— Bill Cosby

58. “Calculus is one course you can come with to your parents and say, I am dropping it. And they’ll understand.”

— Bill Cosby

59. “The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.”

— Bill Cosby

60. “The weatherman is always right. It’s just his timing that’s off.”

— Bill Cosby

61. “There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.”

— Bill Cosby

62. “Any husband who says, “My wife and I are completely equal partners,” is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.”

— Bill Cosby

63. “Fatherhood is asking your son to make up a name rather than tell anybody who he is.”

— Bill Cosby

64. “All parents experience the same problems.”

— Bill Cosby

65. “You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it’s sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap!”

— Bill Cosby

66. “Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.”

— Bill Cosby

67. “Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.”

— Bill Cosby

68. “I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!”

— Bill Cosby

69. “After creating the heaven, the earth, the ocean, and the entire animal kingdom, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was “Don’t.””

— Bill Cosby

70. “Zip zop wop boopity bop.”

— Bill Cosby

71. “I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook.”

— Bill Cosby

72. “It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.”

— Bill Cosby

73. “If I use the word romance, whether it’s my wife or not, it does not mean sex. We can use the word sex when sex is there.”

— Bill Cosby

74. “The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.”

— Bill Cosby

75. “The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.”

— Bill Cosby

76. “All Children Have Brain Damage!”

— Bill Cosby

77. “I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don’t cry over the one person who doesn’t.”

— Bill Cosby

78. “It isn’t a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that’s beautiful.”

— Bill Cosby

79. “I did not want to turn to playing golf because golf is about as much exercise as shuffling cards.”

— Bill Cosby

80. “Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.”

— Bill Cosby

81. “Family is conflict and it’s something that we all relate to.”

— Bill Cosby

82. “My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow.”

— Bill Cosby

83. “Fatherhood is telling your daughter that Michael Jackson loves all his fans, but has special feelings for the ones who eat broccoli.”

— Bill Cosby

84. “The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.”

— Bill Cosby

85. “Did you ever see the customers in health – food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half – dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They’re dying, of course, but they look terrific.”

— Bill Cosby

86. “The serve was invented so that the net could play.”

— Bill Cosby

87. “Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it’s not like whispering to your friend, you’ve put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.”

— Bill Cosby

88. “In my old neighborhood, a boy stopped playing when he began to lose his pulse. And then he became the referee.”

— Bill Cosby

89. “As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it – to me that’s weird.”

— Bill Cosby

90. “Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.”

— Bill Cosby

91. “I don’t have a clue about the way to achievement, however the way to disappointment is attempting to please everyone.”

— Bill Cosby

92. “You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that’s not going to cut it.”

— Bill Cosby

93. “If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.”

— Bill Cosby

94. “Don’t talk yourself into not being you.”

— Bill Cosby

95. “That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.”

— Bill Cosby

96. “I’m not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.”

— Bill Cosby

97. “I don’t think you can bring the races together by joking about the differences between them. I’d rather talk about the similarities, about what’s universal in their experiences.”

— Bill Cosby

98. “Social networking helps reach people easier and quicker.”

— Bill Cosby

99. “If you have no faith, you’ve lost your battle.”

— Bill Cosby

100. “If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.”

— Bill Cosby