“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. ”
— Bill Cosby
“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”
“Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.”
“The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.”
“If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.”
“People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.”
“Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.”
“Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.”
“Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.”
“The secret of success is to be like a duck, Smooth and unruffled on top, But paddling furiously underneath.”
“You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.”
“Betrayal, abandonment, deceit and manipulation.”
“Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.”
“Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.”
“Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.”
“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”
“The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.”
“You can’t be everything to everyone.”
“Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.”
“Your parents put a curse on you – Someday your kids are going to act just like you.”
“A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child.”
“Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.”
“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.”
“Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.”
“A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.”
“If you can find humour in anything, you can survive it.”
“When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?”
“I can’t even talk the way these people talk. ‘Why you ain’t?’ ‘Where you is?’ Everybody knows it’s important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can’t be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.”
“Old is always fifteen years from now.”
“Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.”
“Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you.”
“How long can you tread water?”
“The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them.”
“People say “God will find a way.” God can’t find a way if you’re in the way.”
“A child who is disciplined will be more obedient and also more organized as a student.”
“Every success story has a parent who says, ‘over my dead body.’ Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you’re acting the fool, ‘you know I worry about you sometimes.’”
“Fatherhood is helping your children learn English as a foreign language.”
“I have to follow my thoughts and mine for the gold. I have to dig it out.”
“Grandparents are God’s gifts to children.”
“If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won’t get them. If you take them just for emergency, that’s all they’re gonna get.”
“Anyone can dabble, but once you’ve made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it’s very hard for people to stop you.”
“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.”
“A pelican that is wet walks with a gated limp, but a dry fish swims alone.”
“A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.”
“Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.”
“Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, “Let’s get high and have fun.” So they’re high; now they’re paranoid. “Am I falling out of this chair?””
“Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.”
“In your 50s, time becomes precious and must not be wasted. Every minute is an excellent opportunity for a good nap. Happy 50th birthday!”
“Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in.”
“You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who’ve never had any.”
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