Top 200 Bill Cosby Quotes (2025 Update)
Page 3 of 5

101. “Brown versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person’s problem.”

— Bill Cosby

102. “The summit, which is set up to educate people about managing their money and protecting their income, leads to empowerment of self, for which this summit needs to be applauded.”

— Bill Cosby

103. “Why do I have to feed the kids? They just ate twelve hours ago!”

— Bill Cosby

104. “When you become senile, you won’t know it.”

— Bill Cosby

105. “All around the United States of America – in the cities and the counties – our public education is suffering and has been suffering. Cuts, cuts, cuts.”

— Bill Cosby

106. “If you have a question about anything, the answer can be found in a book somewhere in the library.”

— Bill Cosby

107. “Ours is a youth culture, and like a golf tournament, we honor only low scores.”

— Bill Cosby

108. “You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.”

— Bill Cosby

109. “Every romance does not lead to sex.”

— Bill Cosby

110. “Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.”

— Bill Cosby

111. “Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally.”

— Bill Cosby

112. “The heart of marriage is memories.”

— Bill Cosby

113. “Beware of people who fall at your feet. They may be reaching for the corner of the rug.”

— Bill Cosby

114. “Romance is a different word than sexual contact.”

— Bill Cosby

115. “George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It’s taking something common and drawing out the humor, being clever with words.”

— Bill Cosby

116. “I’ve got a Ferrari. VROOM! I do 104 from the garage to the front door.”

— Bill Cosby

117. “Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to His kids.”

— Bill Cosby

118. “It is not a matter of who is rejecting me, as much as it is somebody may get it, and I am going to keep plowing through it because in this world of education, there is a harvest.”

— Bill Cosby

119. “My mother was an authority on pig sties. This is the worst looking pigsty I have ever seen in my life, and I want it cleaned up right now.”

— Bill Cosby

120. “Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook.”

— Bill Cosby

121. “You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.”

— Bill Cosby

122. “What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I’d like to say that grandparents are God’s gifts to children.”

— Bill Cosby

123. “Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.”

— Bill Cosby

124. “I think you need to make responsibility something that’s not just a word.”

— Bill Cosby

125. “My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.”

— Bill Cosby

126. “A Hoyo de Monterrey double corona is my favourite Cuban since Desi Arnaz.”

— Bill Cosby

127. “You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You’ve got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery.”

— Bill Cosby

128. “Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.”

— Bill Cosby

129. “What’s your name again? That’s right. I’m so glad you know your name.”

— Bill Cosby

130. “My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children.”

— Bill Cosby

131. “There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.”

— Bill Cosby

132. “Every father says the same thing: “Where’s your mother?””

— Bill Cosby

133. “I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.”

— Bill Cosby

134. “A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he’s in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.”

— Bill Cosby

135. “Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.”

— Bill Cosby

136. “There are no absolutes in raising children. In any stressful situation, fathering is always a roll of the dice. The game may be messy, but I have never found one with more joys and rewards.”

— Bill Cosby

137. “You know my father’s favorite game? Come here and pull my finger.”

— Bill Cosby

138. “Our children are angry. The profanity is out in the street. It’s on the buses and in the subway. Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening.”

— Bill Cosby

139. “Laughter brings out the child in all of us.”

— Bill Cosby

140. “My mother comes in my room and says, “Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!” Now, I’ve already been in the room five hours, and she wants me to LOOK at it.”

— Bill Cosby

141. “I don’t wear no condom and I don’t plan for no kids.”

— Bill Cosby

142. “For college seniors there should be a week of being allowed to cry. Just break down and cry because you are scared and don’t know what’s next.”

— Bill Cosby

143. “I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

— Bill Cosby

144. “The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: “Okay, rinse.””

— Bill Cosby

145. “Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn’t understand his use of profanity. He didn’t use it just to be using it; he used it in the context of his satire.”

— Bill Cosby

146. “The essence of childhood, of course, is play.”

— Bill Cosby

147. “You’ll have many, many friends, but if your relationship with your mate is one hundred per cent of your heart, you’ll never need a friend.”

— Bill Cosby

148. “If you speak your mind and if it is true what you’re saying, then I think the integrity of what you’re saying carries through.”

— Bill Cosby

149. “That’s why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.”

— Bill Cosby

150. “Criticizing is easy, art is difficult.”

— Bill Cosby