Top 150 Caroline Kepnes Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “You are a monster, deathly, solipsistic to the bone and you’re blasphemous because all you want is You.”

— Caroline Kepnes

2. “But I can’t stand the way you make me feel so good, like, better than I ever felt, and then you tear it all away, like deep down, you don’t want me to be happy.”

— Caroline Kepnes

3. “Your skin is a waste of space because there’s no heart inside of you.”

— Caroline Kepnes

4. “Happiness is believing that you’re gonna be happy. It’s hope.”

— Caroline Kepnes

5. “If people could handle their self-loathing, customer service would be smoother.”

— Caroline Kepnes

6. “You’re so clean that you’re dirty.”

— Caroline Kepnes

7. “The only thing crueler than a cage so small that a bird can’t fly is a cage so large that a bird thinks it can fly.”

— Caroline Kepnes

8. “The only thing crueler than a cage so small that a bird can’t fly is a cage so large that a bird thinks it can fly. Only a monster would lock a bird in here and call himself an animal lover.”

— Caroline Kepnes

9. “Memories are all the same at their core; it’s just us trying to keep each other alive, the best parts anyway.”

— Caroline Kepnes

10. “Eye contact is what keeps us civilized.”

— Caroline Kepnes

11. “The real horror of my life is not that I’ve killed some terrible people. The real horror is that the people I’ve loved didn’t love me back.”

— Caroline Kepnes

12. “I love you because onions are more complicated than cherries. I’m doomed. I.”

— Caroline Kepnes

13. “You grow through love. You don’t postpone love until you stop growing.”

— Caroline Kepnes

14. “I don’t say anything. I know the power of silence. I remember my dad saying nothing and I remember his silences more vividly than I remember the things he said.”

— Caroline Kepnes

15. “We’re like, do whatever. Chill out. Be gay. Be straight. I mean, what is the big deal? We’re all gonna die anyway, you know? Who wants to spend their precious life hating?”

— Caroline Kepnes

16. “Being alive is nothing without being able to live.”

— Caroline Kepnes

17. “Love is kind, love is patient but also, mainly, above all – yes – Love is perverted.”

— Caroline Kepnes

18. “She is not burdened with a sensitive heart. Hers just beats.”

— Caroline Kepnes

19. “If you don’t start with crazy, crazy love, the kind of love that Van Morrison sings about, then you don’t have a shot to go the distance. Love’s a marathon, Danny, not a sprint.”

— Caroline Kepnes

20. “And you’re not the standard insecure nymph hunting for Faulkner you’ll never finish, never start; Faulkner that will harden and calcify, if books could calcify, on your nightstand; Faulkner meant only to convince one-night stands that you mean it when you swear you never do this kind of thing.”

— Caroline Kepnes

21. “Your lips were made for mine, Beck. You are the reason I have a mouth, a heart.”

— Caroline Kepnes

22. “Talking to you is like traveling through time.”

— Caroline Kepnes

23. “The problem with books is that they end.”

— Caroline Kepnes

24. “Brunch, a meal invented by rich white chicks to rationalize day drinking and bingeing on French toast.”

— Caroline Kepnes

25. “You blush. You are Charlotte’s Web and I could love you.”

— Caroline Kepnes

26. “He doesn’t hate me. He hates himself. If people could handle their self-loathing, customer service would be smoother.”

— Caroline Kepnes

27. “Full of disclaimers, you’re like a warning label on a pack of cigarettes.”

— Caroline Kepnes

28. “There is no better boost in the present than an invitation to the future.”

— Caroline Kepnes

29. “You can tell when something is right because most things are just plain wrong.”

— Caroline Kepnes

30. “And I will never again underestimate the power of anticipation. There is no better boost in the present than an invitation into the future.”

— Caroline Kepnes

31. “It’s like Michael Cunningham says in The Hours: Happiness is believing that you’re gonna be happy. It’s hope.”

— Caroline Kepnes

32. “There is no such thing as a one-night stand. Sometimes, what you do for one night destroys your future.”

— Caroline Kepnes

33. “Louisa May Alcott is right. An extraordinary girl can’t have an ordinary life. Don’t judge yourself. Love yourself.”

— Caroline Kepnes

34. “I cry and watch Pitch Perfect and sing along with the Barden Bellas. I don’t want to be a person who knows the name of a fictional a cappella group in a chick flick but that’s what love has done to me.”

— Caroline Kepnes

35. “Rejection is a dish best served in a paper envelope because then at least you can tear it up or burn it.”

— Caroline Kepnes

36. “The problem with books is that they end. They seduce you. They spread their legs to you and pull you inside. And you go deep and leave your possessions and your ties to the world at the door and you like it inside and you don’t want for your possessions or your ties and then, the book evaporates.”

— Caroline Kepnes

37. “My serotonin surges and Jeff Bezos is a rich man because he knows how much we all just love to get a present, even if it’s a present we bought for ourselves.”

— Caroline Kepnes

38. “You are a woman and I am a man and we belong in the dark together.”

— Caroline Kepnes

39. “It wasn’t my fault that Candace followed me down to the water’s edge and it wasn’t my fault that I picked her up and held her down in the water and watched her pass on to the great beyond. She wanted to be there, or she wouldn’t have gone down there with me. She knew she was killing me and she knew that I was not the type to go down without a fight.”

— Caroline Kepnes

40. “And there is nothing more terrifying than realizing the one who knows you best loves you least.”

— Caroline Kepnes

41. “Well, sometimes you just want to go where it’s dark, you know?”

— Caroline Kepnes

42. “What a shame to be so angered by what you don’t have that you treat what you do have like it’s nothing.”

— Caroline Kepnes

43. “6:08 and the next dude in line is buying the new King and The Shining just to be bold – he calls The Shining a prequel and I want to cut his face.”

— Caroline Kepnes

44. “Life isn’t always ideal, not for most people.”

— Caroline Kepnes

45. “It would be nice to have something alive to hold on to right now, something to love me, something with a beating heart that I can feel, something to be with me as I sit here, in hell, trying to figure it out.”

— Caroline Kepnes

46. “I own every book Stephen King has ever written.” “That’s great. That’s something to be proud of.” But did you read them, fuckface?”

— Caroline Kepnes

47. “Some people, it’s like they care more about their status updates than their actual lives.”

— Caroline Kepnes

48. “You like words and I know words.”

— Caroline Kepnes

49. “Night moves don’t work in the morning.”

— Caroline Kepnes

50. “People are so lonely, they spend their birthdays on the Internet, thanking people for wishing them a happy birthday, people who only know it’s their birthday because Facebook told them.”

— Caroline Kepnes