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Chris Hardwick Quotes

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Chris Hardwick Quote: “Worry is a misuse of your imagination.”

Worry is a misuse of your imagination.

— Chris Hardwick



Chris Hardwick Quote: “I am a freelancer. My services are available to anyone at any time.”

I am a freelancer. My services are available to anyone at any time.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “No human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. Ever meet someone who’s always had everything work out for them with zero struggle? They usually have the depth of a puddle. Or they don’t exist.”

No human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. Ever meet someone who’s always had everything work out for them with zero struggle? They usually have the depth of a puddle. Or they don’t exist.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “We’re not in an information age anymore. We’re in the information management age.”

We’re not in an information age anymore. We’re in the information management age.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Sober strip clubs are horrible. When you are sober you see the matrix code behind a strip club. You’re paying girls to pretend to like you until you run out of money so they can walk away.”

Sober strip clubs are horrible. When you are sober you see the matrix code behind a strip club. You’re paying girls to pretend to like you until you run out of money so they can walk away.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “When I was in school, if you wanted a computer, you had to build one. But today, computers are everywhere. We’re all obsessed with technology and having the latest gadgets. Nerd culture is ubiquitous.”

When I was in school, if you wanted a computer, you had to build one. But today, computers are everywhere. We’re all obsessed with technology and having the latest gadgets. Nerd culture is ubiquitous.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “There are certain parts of a classic nerd’s brain that can destroy that person – obsessing about things to the detriment of everything else in your life. But those are the same tools that you can use to turn everything around.”

There are certain parts of a classic nerd’s brain that can destroy that person – obsessing about things to the detriment of everything else in your life. But those are the same tools that you can use to turn everything around.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Long ago you may have given up control of your brain and set it on autopilot either because it just felt like too much work. And it is work! But for me, this work was well worth it for the prospect of not waking up sad every day.”

Long ago you may have given up control of your brain and set it on autopilot either because it just felt like too much work. And it is work! But for me, this work was well worth it for the prospect of not waking up sad every day.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Playing Xbox for 23 hours straight is cool and all, but I’m going to teach you how to spend time on things in your life that will get you the following two things: paid and laid.”

Playing Xbox for 23 hours straight is cool and all, but I’m going to teach you how to spend time on things in your life that will get you the following two things: paid and laid.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Stand-up isn’t something I just sit down and start writing – it’s ideas you come up with in the shower, while you’re driving, waiting in line.”

Stand-up isn’t something I just sit down and start writing – it’s ideas you come up with in the shower, while you’re driving, waiting in line.

— Chris Hardwick



Chris Hardwick Quote: “I was very competitive growing up. I can’t even play chess anymore because I used to play tournament chess in school. There’s too much sense memory of sitting in front of a chess board and getting super intense about it. It’s ruined the game for me.”

I was very competitive growing up. I can’t even play chess anymore because I used to play tournament chess in school. There’s too much sense memory of sitting in front of a chess board and getting super intense about it. It’s ruined the game for me.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who’s on a never-ending quest for improvement.”

No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who’s on a never-ending quest for improvement.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “The ‘Hipster Nerds’ like stuff because they hate it. It’s like they ironically like it.”

The ‘Hipster Nerds’ like stuff because they hate it. It’s like they ironically like it.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “We are in niche consumption mode, but ‘niche’ doesn’t mean ‘small’ anymore. Niche can mean focused, and particularly with the Web, which is a global audience you can have something niche and still get 10 to 15 million views.”

We are in niche consumption mode, but ‘niche’ doesn’t mean ‘small’ anymore. Niche can mean focused, and particularly with the Web, which is a global audience you can have something niche and still get 10 to 15 million views.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Stand up straight. If you stand up straight, you will instantly feel better about yourself, and you will project a better image to the world, one that says you don’t feel like you have to be hunched over and closed off.”

Stand up straight. If you stand up straight, you will instantly feel better about yourself, and you will project a better image to the world, one that says you don’t feel like you have to be hunched over and closed off.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “The thing about hipsters is that they take very seriously trying to make themselves look like they don’t take themselves seriously.”

The thing about hipsters is that they take very seriously trying to make themselves look like they don’t take themselves seriously.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “When you don’t take an aggressive role in shaping your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, you become a helpless passenger floating through the universe like a ghost ship, merely reacting to wherever it takes you.”

When you don’t take an aggressive role in shaping your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, you become a helpless passenger floating through the universe like a ghost ship, merely reacting to wherever it takes you.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “A big company is like trying to steer a luxury liner.”

A big company is like trying to steer a luxury liner.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms.”

Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “When I was younger, my parents used to say, “Trust us on this. We have more experience than you.” And I was like, “Shut up, you don’t know anything!” But I was an idiot. They did know more stuff because they’d experienced more things.”

When I was younger, my parents used to say, “Trust us on this. We have more experience than you.” And I was like, “Shut up, you don’t know anything!” But I was an idiot. They did know more stuff because they’d experienced more things.

— Chris Hardwick



Chris Hardwick Quote: “There’s a lot of money being generated by nerds right now. Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, the list goes on and on. Nerds make more money than our government. And with money comes power.”

There’s a lot of money being generated by nerds right now. Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, the list goes on and on. Nerds make more money than our government. And with money comes power.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “If you’re able to build from your falls you’ll be unstoppable and damn near fearless. You see, every time you fall down and get back up, you add another piece of body armor to yourself. You learn what not to do, how to do better, and how to create comfort through practice.”

If you’re able to build from your falls you’ll be unstoppable and damn near fearless. You see, every time you fall down and get back up, you add another piece of body armor to yourself. You learn what not to do, how to do better, and how to create comfort through practice.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “I made a lot of changes in my life between my twenties and thirties, and it all sort of revolves around how I think people with nerdier brains tend to problem-solve and approach things differently then “norms.””

I made a lot of changes in my life between my twenties and thirties, and it all sort of revolves around how I think people with nerdier brains tend to problem-solve and approach things differently then “norms.”

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “I played tournament chess from fifth grade up into high school.”

I played tournament chess from fifth grade up into high school.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “I feel like being nerd is not about the superficial quality; it’s about how nerds approach life. It’s much more emotional and mental than it is you’re some fat guy living in your mom’s basement, which I think is just a hacky stereotype.”

I feel like being nerd is not about the superficial quality; it’s about how nerds approach life. It’s much more emotional and mental than it is you’re some fat guy living in your mom’s basement, which I think is just a hacky stereotype.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Growing up in the 70s and 80s, it took effort to be a nerd. You had to seek out the nerd stuff.”

Growing up in the 70s and 80s, it took effort to be a nerd. You had to seek out the nerd stuff.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “You walk into a strip club with a wad of cash; they all flock around you. Strippers are just pigeons with tits. They go where the bread is.”

You walk into a strip club with a wad of cash; they all flock around you. Strippers are just pigeons with tits. They go where the bread is.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Like lycanthropy, the nerd gene can skip a generation. My maternal grandfather was a technophile.”

Like lycanthropy, the nerd gene can skip a generation. My maternal grandfather was a technophile.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “I think for a lot of people, bowling is sort of a joke. But I love it, and it means a lot to me, so any chance to help promote it or celebrate it or not make the hackiest jokes – ‘Bowlers are like plumbers and they wear the craziest shirts!’ – I’m way into.”

I think for a lot of people, bowling is sort of a joke. But I love it, and it means a lot to me, so any chance to help promote it or celebrate it or not make the hackiest jokes – ‘Bowlers are like plumbers and they wear the craziest shirts!’ – I’m way into.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Comment threads are the new therapy for people. They just go and post the worst things they can think of because they feel bad, and then other people start attacking them, and then they attack back.”

Comment threads are the new therapy for people. They just go and post the worst things they can think of because they feel bad, and then other people start attacking them, and then they attack back.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Some people learn comedy, and some people just are comedy.”

Some people learn comedy, and some people just are comedy.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “If you can build your career around your passions, then you’re winning in life; that’s one of the best things you can ask for.”

If you can build your career around your passions, then you’re winning in life; that’s one of the best things you can ask for.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “The nerds provide the toys that distract the morons. So the nerds are sort of the new drug-dealers. We’re the drug dealers of the 21st century because we provide all the brain candy for the mouth-breathers, for lack of a better word.”

The nerds provide the toys that distract the morons. So the nerds are sort of the new drug-dealers. We’re the drug dealers of the 21st century because we provide all the brain candy for the mouth-breathers, for lack of a better word.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Rats are just Ziploc bags full of disease.”

Rats are just Ziploc bags full of disease.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “There’s no ironic appreciation of things we love, even of things that are in fact ridiculous, which a hipster might take and own and show the world the humor in it.”

There’s no ironic appreciation of things we love, even of things that are in fact ridiculous, which a hipster might take and own and show the world the humor in it.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Jokes that make me laugh out loud when I write them almost always bomb. I have no idea why.”

Jokes that make me laugh out loud when I write them almost always bomb. I have no idea why.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “What’s more unnerving than magnetism, ghosts, and unpurified water? Gadgetmongers who purport to protect us from metaphysical monsters that go bump in the New Age night.”

What’s more unnerving than magnetism, ghosts, and unpurified water? Gadgetmongers who purport to protect us from metaphysical monsters that go bump in the New Age night.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Comedy has sort of been my life-long obsession. I literally obsessed over comedy. I really didn’t play sports – for me it was just comedy, computers and chess club; those were my big things.”

Comedy has sort of been my life-long obsession. I literally obsessed over comedy. I really didn’t play sports – for me it was just comedy, computers and chess club; those were my big things.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “It changed my whole outlook. I lost a decade to self-pity, and the next thing I knew I was turning 40.”

It changed my whole outlook. I lost a decade to self-pity, and the next thing I knew I was turning 40.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Steal moments of happiness if you have to, and then collect them until they are the dominant images in your psyche.”

Steal moments of happiness if you have to, and then collect them until they are the dominant images in your psyche.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “I love the South. Although I grew up primarily in Memphis, my family moved around a ton when I was a kid. I guess I never stayed in one place long enough to pick up the accent, but I definitely identify as a Southerner.”

I love the South. Although I grew up primarily in Memphis, my family moved around a ton when I was a kid. I guess I never stayed in one place long enough to pick up the accent, but I definitely identify as a Southerner.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “I almost think of nerd brains as rattlesnake venom; like, you can milk it. You can milk the pulpy venom out of the nerd brain and use it for good if you want to.”

I almost think of nerd brains as rattlesnake venom; like, you can milk it. You can milk the pulpy venom out of the nerd brain and use it for good if you want to.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “I’ve gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.”

I’ve gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “I don’t know if I’m a Twitter addict. That seems kind of harsh. I would say it’s more that I’m seriously involved. That it’s a long-term relationship – like a girlfriend, which my actual girlfriend loves to hear.”

I don’t know if I’m a Twitter addict. That seems kind of harsh. I would say it’s more that I’m seriously involved. That it’s a long-term relationship – like a girlfriend, which my actual girlfriend loves to hear.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “I like listening to people talk about things that they love. They get to express things they don’t normally get to express.”

I like listening to people talk about things that they love. They get to express things they don’t normally get to express.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “In the ’90s, you couldn’t say the word ‘nerd’ to someone when pitching a show. They would have considered that too niche and wouldn’t have listened.”

In the ’90s, you couldn’t say the word ‘nerd’ to someone when pitching a show. They would have considered that too niche and wouldn’t have listened.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “The podcast movement was really a creative survival mechanism for standup comics.”

The podcast movement was really a creative survival mechanism for standup comics.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Comic-Con is nerd Christmas. People go wanting to have fun.”

Comic-Con is nerd Christmas. People go wanting to have fun.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “It’s so much easier to give advice than to take it.”

It’s so much easier to give advice than to take it.

— Chris Hardwick


Chris Hardwick Quote: “Our mandate at Nerdist is that we only get involved with nice people around things that we love. We have the luxury of being in the demographic that we’re programming for.”

Our mandate at Nerdist is that we only get involved with nice people around things that we love. We have the luxury of being in the demographic that we’re programming for.

— Chris Hardwick

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