Top 250 Ellen DeGeneres Quotes (2024 Update)
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101. “If you’re in a position where you can help other people, there is nothing better in life than helping other people. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!”

— Ellen DeGeneres

102. “I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

103. “I love furniture. And I thought, why are we not seeing who’s making the cool new coffee table and these new designs that come out?”

— Ellen DeGeneres

104. “One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

105. “Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don’t think we hurt anyone else’s marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they’re fine.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

106. “I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it’s such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

107. “I love clothes, so when I wear clothes, they’re usually somebody’s. You know, I’m not wearing Kmart.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

108. “I think beauty comes from actually knowing who you are. That’s real beauty to me.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

109. “It was the hardest time of my life, but the best part of my journey.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

110. “Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

111. “I love Jesus but I drink alittle- Gladis Hardy from the Ellen Show.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

112. “People give me such a hard time because I don’t wear dresses. What’s that got to do with anything?”

— Ellen DeGeneres

113. “I was raised in an atmosphere of ‘everything’s fine.’ But as I got older, I was like, ‘Well no, everything’s not fine. There is stuff that’s sad.’ I am a really sensitive person. I think I am too sensitive sometimes.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

114. “Procrastination isn’t the problem. It’s the solution. It’s the universe’s way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

115. “Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: Yes. Yes. No. One time in high school. Three times in my twenties. Rocks no salt. Yes. Four. Never. And how dare you! I will take no further questions.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

116. “What goes up must come down, which is why I don’t wear tube tops.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

117. “The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhart, by Carol Burnett, by Lucille Ball.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

118. “I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we judge one another, when the truth is, we are all one connected thing. We are all from the same exact molecules.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

119. “I don’t understand the sizes anymore. There’s a size zero, which I didn’t even know that they had. It must stand for: ‘Ohhh my God, you’re thin.’”

— Ellen DeGeneres

120. “I’m on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I’m gonna rip it off.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

121. “When I look back on the stuff I used to wear, I wonder why somebody didn’t try to stop me. Just a friendly warning, “You may regret this,” would have been fine.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

122. “I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?”

— Ellen DeGeneres

123. “I always worry when someone’s a good golfer. It’s like you shouldn’t have time to be good at anything. You should just be a politician and you shouldn’t have time to practice golf.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

124. “I’ve got a lot to say about television. There’s a lot going on in television right now and I feel like a huge part of television.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

125. “My dream guests are really not so much celebrities. They’re people who are actually interesting and they’re doing something interesting with their lives or had an interesting experience in some way. I really enjoy talking to regular, everyday people.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

126. “It is a fundamental right for people to be allowed to love who they want to love and marry who they want to marry and stop holding on to some form of discrimination that it’s just isn’t fair.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

127. “I’m glad I’m funny. I’m glad I make people happy, because that’s very important. But I’m proud to be known as a kind person.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

128. “I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

129. “We can sit and worry about what’s going to happen to us two weeks from now. I’d rather focus on the amazing things happening right in front of us.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

130. “For someone like me, who loves to sweat and push herself, it’s a challenge to slow down, to sit, to breathe and hold poses.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

131. “The first person I learned I could make happy with laughter was my mother, whom I idolize. It was a powerful thing to realize. I knew I had found my life’s work.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

132. “That’s what life is all about. There’s a lot of crying. So you’d better cry now and get used to it.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

133. “I believe one day a ‘ban on gay marriage’ will sound totally ridiculous. In the meantime, I will continue to speak out for equality for all of us.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

134. “Why can’t rappers just say nice things? Like I wanna take your clothes off and hang them up in the closet real nice.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

135. “The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was – it really is, I have a career despite myself.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

136. “So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

137. “When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it’s hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn’t feel like me.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

138. “For a long time I thought I knew for sure who I was. I grew up in New Orleans and became a comedian. And there was everything that came along with that. The nightclubs. The smoking. The drinking. Then I turned 13.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

139. “The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we had the type of shows we had then, like The Flying Nun.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

140. “I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

141. “I have an amazing team; I have amazing producers; I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it’s me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

142. “It’s hard when paparazzi are photographing every single thing you do. I’m sure a lot of people made mistakes – they just were not documented the way they are now.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

143. “There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don’t even understand how anyone would want that job at all. Although I would be able to play golf which I don’t seem to have time now.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

144. “Human beings only use ten percent of their brains. Ten percent! Can you imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other sixty percent?”

— Ellen DeGeneres

145. “I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

146. “Asking who’s the ‘man’ and who’s the ‘woman’ in a same-sex relationship is like asking which chopstick is the fork.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

147. “You say you’re sick and tired of hearing about me? I’ve got news for you: I’M sick and tired of hearing about me.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

148. “My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

149. “I talked to Beyonce and she wants to learn how to speak Arabic and she wants to jump out of an airplane. I don’t want to do that. I just don’t want to wash my hair every day.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

150. “I watch people’s behavior and notice things. I think that’s why I became a comedian. I notice how stupid the things we do are.”

— Ellen DeGeneres