Top 250 Ellen DeGeneres Quotes (2024 Update)
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151. “I talked to Beyonce and she wants to learn how to speak Arabic and she wants to jump out of an airplane. I don’t want to do that. I just don’t want to wash my hair every day.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

152. “I watch people’s behavior and notice things. I think that’s why I became a comedian. I notice how stupid the things we do are.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

153. “It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

154. “Take a nap in a fireplace and you’ll sleep like a log.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

155. “I think furniture is art. I don’t think art is just for your walls – I think everything that someone has made is a piece of art.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

156. “Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

157. “Don’t hold onto things, it will only bring you pain.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

158. “Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside – to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

159. “Designing is my hobby. If I didn’t do what I do for a living – at some point when I don’t do this for a living – I’ll probably just do design work. I love finding really special pieces of furniture.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

160. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is only skin deep. Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

161. “I get paid very well for an amazing, amazing life. I’m blessed.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

162. “I wanted to have money; I wanted to be special; I wanted people to like me; I wanted to be famous.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

163. “We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we’re cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

164. “I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

165. “I was coming home from kindergarten – well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It’s good for a kid to know how to make gloves.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

166. “I get my dance moves from just moving around and listening to music and not really worrying about if it’s perfect or not.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

167. “Save a life this Thanksgiving, and join me in starting a new tradition by adopting a turkey instead of eating one through Farm Sanctuary’s Adopt-A-Turkey Project.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

168. “I won’t have a hard time being brutally honest. But I won’t be mean. You don’t have to be mean to be honest.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

169. “I’m a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you’re supposed to feel all kinds of things.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

170. “There’s lotion for your face, lotion for your hands, lotion for your feet, lotion for your body. Why? What would happen if you put hand lotion on your feet? Would your feet get confused and start clapping?”

— Ellen DeGeneres

171. “We put the wrong emphasis on what beauty is and what health is. Health is being vibrant and having energy and being happy.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

172. “If there weren’t blacks, Jews and gays, there would no Oscars. Or anyone named Oscar, if you think about that.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

173. “Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw every single week on the wall at Sunday school was the Golden Rule.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

174. “We’re told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?”

— Ellen DeGeneres

175. “I like sitting at outdoor restaurants; it would be nice to go someplace on the street and not worry about somebody taking my picture while I’m about to take a bite of something.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

176. “Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

177. “I’m a fan of people getting together.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

178. “We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

179. “You know, it’s hard work to write a book. I can’t tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

180. “Baloney is just salami with an inferiority complex.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

181. “Reading Ellen’s hilarious new book. Thirsty for tequila.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

182. “Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

183. “If anybody could put themselves in that situation of feeling a giant loud voice saying you don’t deserve the same rights, you are different and you are not equal, it feels really bad.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

184. “I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God; they don’t harbor resentment. I wanted to be a vet when I grew up.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

185. “A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

186. “Hosting the Emmys is a challenge for me. I guess it’s the equivalent of someone who needs to climb a mountain or jump out of a plane. It’s that kind of thing, where this could go terribly wrong. And I love the feeling of when it goes right.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

187. “Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

188. “Something big happened over the weekend. Something that affects everybody, all over the world. George Clooney got married.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

189. “I get to do stand-up every single day. I love that live energy exchange between the audience and myself, and to get to say the things I want to say and comment on.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

190. “What’s New Orleans without music? And what’s music without dancing?”

— Ellen DeGeneres

191. “Honestly, I would eat cardboard rather than go back to eating animals.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

192. “When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

193. “While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I’d say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

194. “The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

195. “I think anybody who wants to be president has to be a politician, but I would like to find somebody who’s coming from a loving place instead of a political place.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

196. “Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up the show because people thought no one would watch it because I’m openly gay.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

197. “For some reason, we can’t just enjoy somebody else’s success. Somehow, that’s going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less – and I don’t know why.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

198. “I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal – because I’m not hiding anything from them.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

199. “But what’s important is that you enjoy and appreciate every day, and that’s something you can accomplish by just living in the moment. Don’t look behind you. Unless someone yells, “Look out behind you!” Then you should definitely look behind you because there’s a good chance a Frisbee is being thrown at your head or, if you’re in a movie, an attractive teenage vampire is about to attack you.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

200. “Yeah I’m thirty-six, but on the show I’m thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.”

— Ellen DeGeneres