Top 500 Homer Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “I’m not gay, but I’ll learn...”

— Homer

52. “Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you’ve got the power inside you right now. So use it and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don’t delay. Eternal happiness is just a dollar away.”

— Homer

53. “I’m a rageaholic. I just can’t live without rageahol.”

— Homer

54. “Achilles absent was Achilles still!”

— Homer

55. “By their own follies they perished, the fools.”

— Homer

56. “If you serve too many masters, you’ll soon suffer.”

— Homer

57. “The blade itself incites to deeds of violence.”

— Homer

58. “Without a sign, his sword the brave man draws, and asks no omen, but his country’s cause.”

— Homer

59. “A gun is not a weapon! It’s a tool, like a butcher’s knife, or a harpoon, or an alligator.”

— Homer

60. “If you’re gonna get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I’ll just have to stop doing stupid things.”

— Homer

61. “Nay if even in the house of Hades the dead forget their dead, yet will I even there be mindful of my dear comrade.”

— Homer

62. “To speak his thoughts is every freeman’s right, in peace and war, in council and in fight.”

— Homer

63. “Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow.”

— Homer

64. “The persuasion of a friend is a strong thing.”

— Homer

65. “The proof of battle is action, proof of words, debate. No time for speeches now, it’s time to fight.”

— Homer

66. “How prone to doubt, how cautious are the wise!”

— Homer

67. “Immortals are never alien to one another.”

— Homer

68. “There is nothing worse for mortals than a wandering life.”

— Homer

69. “His native home deep imag’d in his soul.”

— Homer

70. “First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.”

— Homer

71. “Bear patiently, my heart, for you have suffered heavier things.”

— Homer

72. “By hook or by crook this peril too shall be something that we remember.”

— Homer

73. “When a woman says nothing’s wrong, that means everything’s wrong. And when a woman says everything’s wrong, that means everything’s wrong! And when a woman says something’s not funny, you’d better not laugh your ass off!”

— Homer

74. “Wise to resolve, and patient to perform.”

— Homer

75. “The sun rose on the flawless brimming sea into a sky all brazen-all one brightening for gods immortal and for mortal men on plowlands kind with grain.”

— Homer

76. “I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.”

— Homer

77. “Who love too much, hate in the like extreme.”

— Homer

78. “There is nothing more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.”

— Homer

79. “Sinks my sad soul with sorrow to the grave.”

— Homer

80. “Oh, look at me! I’m making people happy! I’m the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.”

— Homer

81. “If you don’t like your job, you don’t strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That’s the American way.”

— Homer

82. “The tongue of man is a twisty thing, there are plenty of words there of every kind.”

— Homer

83. “Few sons are equal to their fathers; most fall short, all too few surpass them.”

— Homer

84. “The lot of man-to suffer and die.”

— Homer

85. “Money can be exchanged for goods and services!”

— Homer

86. “They have the Internet on computers now?”

— Homer

87. “Unextinguished laughter shakes the skies.”

— Homer

88. “You don’t win friends with salad.”

— Homer

89. “Hunger is insolent, and will be fed.”

— Homer

90. “You ought not to practice childish ways, since you are no longer that age.”

— Homer

91. “Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, Make the sage frolic, and the serious smile.”

— Homer

92. “Sleep, delicious and profound, the very counterfeit of death.”

— Homer

93. “There will be killing till the score is paid.”

— Homer

94. “Like leaves on trees the race of man is found,- Now green in youth, now withering on the ground; Another race the following spring supplies: They fall successive, and successive rise.”

— Homer

95. “Ah my friend, if you and I could escape this fray and live forever, never a trace of age, immortal, I would never fight on the front lines again or command you in the field where men win fame. But now, as it is, the fates of death await us, thousands poised to strike, and not a man alive can flee them or escape – so in we go for attack! Give our enemy glory or win it for ourselves!”

— Homer

96. “A glorious death is his, who for his country falls.”

— Homer

97. “And empty words are evil.”

— Homer

98. “Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.”

— Homer

99. “From his tongue flowed speech sweeter than honey.”

— Homer

100. “Yet, taught by time, my heart has learned to glow for other’s good, and melt at other’s woe.”

— Homer