Top 500 Homer Quotes (2025 Update)
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251. “I won’t lie to you, fatherhood isn’t easy like motherhood.”

— Homer

252. “Mmmm. Move over, eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend – fudge.”

— Homer

253. “Clanless, lawless, homeless is he who is in love with civil war, that brutal ferocious thing.”

— Homer

254. “Modesty is of no use to a beggar.”

— Homer

255. “Good things don’t end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria.”

— Homer

256. “God help me, I’m just not that bright.”

— Homer

257. “Nothing feebler does earth nurture than man, Of all things breathing and moving.”

— Homer

258. “Wine gives strength to weary men.”

— Homer

259. “Among all men on the earth bards have a share of honor and reverence, because the muse has taught them songs and loves the race of bards.”

— Homer

260. “Never throw a butcher knife in anger.”

— Homer

261. “Whatever day Makes man a slave, takes half his worth away.”

— Homer

262. “Better to flee from death than feel its grip.”

— Homer

263. “Perverse mankind! whose wills, created free, Charge all their woes on absolute degree; All to the dooming gods their guilt translate, And follies are miscall’d the crimes of fate.”

— Homer

264. “Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.”

— Homer

265. “Look at me! I’m a puffy pink cloud!”

— Homer

266. “Cattle and fat sheep can all be had for the raiding, tripods for the trading, and tawny headed stallions. But a mans’s lifebreath cannot come back again- no raiders in force, no trading brings it back, once it slips through a man’s clenched teeth.”

— Homer

267. “Internet! Is that thing still around?”

— Homer

268. “Even the bravest cannot fight beyond his power.”

— Homer

269. “The windy satisfaction of the tongue.”

— Homer

270. “Short is my date, but deathless my renown.”

— Homer

271. “All my life I’ve been an obese man trapped inside a fat man’s body.”

— Homer

272. “My good friend, if, when we were once out of this fight, we could escape old age and death thenceforward and for ever, I should neither press forward myself nor bid you do so, but death in ten thousand shapes hangs ever over our heads, and no man can elude him; therefore let us go forward and either win glory for ourselves, or yield it to another.”

— Homer

273. “My life is more to me than all the wealth of Ilius.”

— Homer

274. “Goddess of song, teach me the story of a hero.”

— Homer

275. “All right, let’s not panic. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.”

— Homer

276. “What is this word that broke through the fence of your teeth, Atreides?”

— Homer

277. “The bitter dregs of Fortune’s cup to drain.”

— Homer

278. “I wish that strife would vanish away from among gods and mortals, and gall, which makes a man grow angry for all his great mind, that gall of anger that swarms like smoke inside of a man’s heart and becomes a thing sweeter to him by far than the dripping of honey.”

— Homer

279. “Two urns on Jove’s high throne have ever stood, the source of evil one, and one of good; from thence the cup of mortal man he fills, blessings to these, to those distributes ills; to most he mingles both.”

— Homer

280. “The ugliest man was he who came to Troy; with squinting eyes and one distorted foot.”

— Homer

281. “Oh, my tattered rags are caught on your coffee table.”

— Homer

282. “Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.”

— Homer

283. “Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.”

— Homer

284. “And for yourself, may the gods grant you your heart’s desire, a husband and a home, and the blessing of a harmonious life. For nothing is greater or finer than this, when a man and woman live together with one hear and mind, bringing joy to their friends and grief to their foes.”

— Homer

285. “Women are easy, state capitals are hard.”

— Homer

286. “Zeus it seems has given us from youth to old age a nice ball of wool to wind-nothing but wars upon wars until we shall perish every one.”

— Homer

287. “Not at all similar are the race of the immortal gods and the race of men who walk upon the earth.”

— Homer

288. “Sweet sleep fell upon his eyelids, unwakeful, most pleasant, the nearest like death.”

— Homer

289. “Sensitive love letters are my specialty. ‘Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.’”

— Homer

290. “The outcome of the war is in our hands; the outcome of words is in the council.”

— Homer

291. “In The Odyssey, we find instead the story of a man whose grand adventure is simply to go back to his own home, where he tries to turn everything back to the way it was before he went away. For this hero, mere survival is the most amazing feat of all.”

— Homer

292. “Goddess,... do not be angry with me about this. I am quite aware that my wife Penelope is nothing like so tall or so beautiful as yourself. She is only a woman, whereas you are an immortal. Nevertheless, I want to get home, and can think of nothing else.”

— Homer

293. “Ajax the great Himself a host.”

— Homer

294. “Grief wrapped around her, eating at her heart. The house was full of chairs but she could not bear to sit upright.”

— Homer

295. “To-morrow we embark upon the boundless sea.”

— Homer

296. “You can’t go wrong with cocktail weenies. They look as good as they taste. And they come in this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain’t ketchup!”

— Homer

297. “To labour is the lot of man below; And when Jove gave us life, he gave us woe.”

— Homer

298. “Young people are thoughtless as a rule.”

— Homer

299. “You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don’t work out in real life, uh, Christianity.”

— Homer

300. “Marge, when I join an underground cult I expect a little support from my family.”

— Homer