Top 500 Homer Quotes (2025 Update)
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301. “I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.”

— Homer

302. “Many are the birds who under the sun’s rays wander the sky; not all of them mean anything.”

— Homer

303. “Miserable mortals who like leaves at one moment flame with life eating the produce of the land and at another moment weakly perish.”

— Homer

304. “Why have you come to me here, dear heart, with all these instructions? I promise you I will do everything just as you ask. But come closer. Let us give in to grief, however briefly, in each other’s arms.”

— Homer

305. “Few sons attain the praise Of their great sires and most their sires disgrace.”

— Homer

306. “Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster’s dictionary describes a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one’s garden.”

— Homer

307. “Think not to match yourself against the gods, for men that walk the earth cannot hold their own with the immortals.”

— Homer

308. “I should rather labor as another’s serf, in the home of a man without fortune, one whose livelihood was meager, than rule over all the departed dead.”

— Homer

309. “She spoke and loosened from her bosom the embroidered girdle of many colors into which all her allurements were fashioned. In it was love and int desire which steals the mind even of the wise.”

— Homer

310. “All the survivors of the war had reached their homes and so put the perils of battle and the sea behind them.”

— Homer

311. “Pine needle sorbet? Pine needle sorbet?! My kids do NOT eat sorbet. They eat sherbet, and they pronounce it sherbert, and they wish it was ice cream!”

— Homer

312. “She sent him a warm and gentle wind, and Lord Odysseus was happy as he set his sails to catch the breeze. He sat beside the steering oar and used his skill to steer the raft.”

— Homer

313. “For love deceives the best of woman kind.”

— Homer

314. “My mother Thetis tells me that there are two ways in which I may meet my end. If I stay here and fight, I will not return alive but my name will live forever: whereas if I go home my name will die, but it will be long ere death shall take me.”

— Homer

315. “The leader, mingling with the vulgar host, Is in the common mass of matter lost.”

— Homer

316. “There is no fouler fiend than a woman when her mind is bent to evil.”

— Homer

317. “All deaths are hateful to miserable mortals, but the most pitiable death of all is to starve.”

— Homer

318. “If any man obeys the gods, they listen to him also.”

— Homer

319. “Even were sleep is concerned, too much is a bad thing.”

— Homer

320. “My wife’s not some doobie to be passed around! I took a vow on our wedding day to bogart her for life.”

— Homer

321. “First you don’t want me to get the pony, then you want me to take it back. Make up your mind!”

— Homer

322. “Who ne’er knew salt, or heard the billows roar.”

— Homer

323. “The generation of mankind is like the generation of leaves. The wind scatters the leaves on the ground, but the living tree burgeons with leaves again in the spring.”

— Homer

324. “I don’t know how much longer I can complain.”

— Homer

325. “Fear, O Achilles, the wrath of heaven; think on your own father and have compassion upon me, who am the more pitiable.”

— Homer

326. “We’re goin bowling. If we don’t come back, avenge our deaths.”

— Homer

327. “Being popular is the most important thing in the world!”

— Homer

328. “For of all creatures that breathe and creep about on the earth, there is none so miserable as man.”

— Homer

329. “If it doesn’t have siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.”

— Homer

330. “Generations of men are like the leaves. In winter, winds blow them down to earth, but then, when spring season comes again, the budding wood grows more. And so with men: one generation grows, another dies away.”

— Homer

331. “Victory passes back and forth between men.”

— Homer

332. “I’ll get out of this city alive, even if it kills me!”

— Homer

333. “Strife and Confusion joined the fight, along with cruel Death, who seized one wounded man while still alive and then another man without a wound, while pulling the feet of one more corpse out from the fight. The clothes Death wore around her shoulders were dyed red with human blood.”

— Homer

334. “I have no interest at all in food and drink, but only in slaughter and blood and the agonized groans of mangled men.”

— Homer

335. “Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.”

— Homer

336. “One rogue leads another.”

— Homer

337. “The God of War will see fair play-he’s often slain that wants to slay!”

— Homer

338. “No TV and no beer makes Homer something something.”

— Homer

339. “See now, how men lay blame upon us gods for what is after all nothing but their own folly.”

— Homer

340. “One who contends with immortals lives a very short life.”

— Homer

341. “Uncontrollable laughter arose among the blessed gods.”

— Homer

342. “You will certainly not be able to take the lead in all things yourself, for to one man a god has given deeds of war, and to another the dance, to another lyre and song, and in another wide-sounding Zeus puts a good mind.”

— Homer

343. “For never, never, wicked man was wise.”

— Homer

344. “A decent boldness ever meets with friends.”

— Homer

345. “Shoulder-to-shoulder, swing to the work, we must – just two as we are – if we hope to make some headway. The worst cowards, banded together, have their power, but you and I have got the skill to fight their best.”

— Homer

346. “Sit down and hold your tongue as I bid you for if I once begin to lay my hands about you, though all heaven were on your side it would profit you nothing.”

— Homer

347. “I’m in a place where I don’t know where I am!”

— Homer

348. “Earth sounds my wisdom, and high heaven my fame.”

— Homer

349. “Homer no function beer well without.”

— Homer

350. “Will cast the spear and leave the rest to Jove.”

— Homer