Top 500 Homer Quotes (2024 Update)
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301. “I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.”

— Homer

302. “Pine needle sorbet? Pine needle sorbet?! My kids do NOT eat sorbet. They eat sherbet, and they pronounce it sherbert, and they wish it was ice cream!”

— Homer

303. “Grief wrapped around her, eating at her heart. The house was full of chairs but she could not bear to sit upright.”

— Homer

304. “Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster’s dictionary describes a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one’s garden.”

— Homer

305. “There is no fouler fiend than a woman when her mind is bent to evil.”

— Homer

306. “My mother Thetis tells me that there are two ways in which I may meet my end. If I stay here and fight, I will not return alive but my name will live forever: whereas if I go home my name will die, but it will be long ere death shall take me.”

— Homer

307. “All deaths are hateful to miserable mortals, but the most pitiable death of all is to starve.”

— Homer

308. “If any man obeys the gods, they listen to him also.”

— Homer

309. “She sent him a warm and gentle wind, and Lord Odysseus was happy as he set his sails to catch the breeze. He sat beside the steering oar and used his skill to steer the raft.”

— Homer

310. “I should rather labor as another’s serf, in the home of a man without fortune, one whose livelihood was meager, than rule over all the departed dead.”

— Homer

311. “Who ne’er knew salt, or heard the billows roar.”

— Homer

312. “First you don’t want me to get the pony, then you want me to take it back. Make up your mind!”

— Homer

313. “I don’t know how much longer I can complain.”

— Homer

314. “The generation of mankind is like the generation of leaves. The wind scatters the leaves on the ground, but the living tree burgeons with leaves again in the spring.”

— Homer

315. “The leader, mingling with the vulgar host, Is in the common mass of matter lost.”

— Homer

316. “Even were sleep is concerned, too much is a bad thing.”

— Homer

317. “In The Odyssey, we find instead the story of a man whose grand adventure is simply to go back to his own home, where he tries to turn everything back to the way it was before he went away. For this hero, mere survival is the most amazing feat of all.”

— Homer

318. “My wife’s not some doobie to be passed around! I took a vow on our wedding day to bogart her for life.”

— Homer

319. “We’re goin bowling. If we don’t come back, avenge our deaths.”

— Homer

320. “For love deceives the best of woman kind.”

— Homer

321. “If it doesn’t have siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.”

— Homer

322. “Modesty is of no use to a beggar.”

— Homer

323. “Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.”

— Homer

324. “No TV and no beer makes Homer something something.”

— Homer

325. “I have no interest at all in food and drink, but only in slaughter and blood and the agonized groans of mangled men.”

— Homer

326. “Fear, O Achilles, the wrath of heaven; think on your own father and have compassion upon me, who am the more pitiable.”

— Homer

327. “Victory passes back and forth between men.”

— Homer

328. “I’ll get out of this city alive, even if it kills me!”

— Homer

329. “Being popular is the most important thing in the world!”

— Homer

330. “See now, how men lay blame upon us gods for what is after all nothing but their own folly.”

— Homer

331. “Strife and Confusion joined the fight, along with cruel Death, who seized one wounded man while still alive and then another man without a wound, while pulling the feet of one more corpse out from the fight. The clothes Death wore around her shoulders were dyed red with human blood.”

— Homer

332. “One rogue leads another.”

— Homer

333. “The ugliest man was he who came to Troy; with squinting eyes and one distorted foot.”

— Homer

334. “Shoulder-to-shoulder, swing to the work, we must – just two as we are – if we hope to make some headway. The worst cowards, banded together, have their power, but you and I have got the skill to fight their best.”

— Homer

335. “The God of War will see fair play-he’s often slain that wants to slay!”

— Homer

336. “Uncontrollable laughter arose among the blessed gods.”

— Homer

337. “You will certainly not be able to take the lead in all things yourself, for to one man a god has given deeds of war, and to another the dance, to another lyre and song, and in another wide-sounding Zeus puts a good mind.”

— Homer

338. “Will cast the spear and leave the rest to Jove.”

— Homer

339. “One who contends with immortals lives a very short life.”

— Homer

340. “For never, never, wicked man was wise.”

— Homer

341. “Do not beg me by knees or by parents you dog! I only wish I were savagely wrathful enough to hack up your corpse and eat it raw.”

— Homer

342. “The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother, and I call him Gamblor!”

— Homer

343. “Boy, those Germans have a word for everything!”

— Homer

344. “For of all creatures that breathe and creep about on the earth, there is none so miserable as man.”

— Homer

345. “Sit down and hold your tongue as I bid you for if I once begin to lay my hands about you, though all heaven were on your side it would profit you nothing.”

— Homer

346. “And his good wife will tear her cheeks in grief, his sons are orphans and he, soaking the soil red with his own blood, he rots away himself-more birds than women flocking round his body!”

— Homer

347. “Oh for shame, how the mortals put the blame on us gods, for they say evils come from us, but it is they, rather, who by their own recklessness win sorrow beyond what is given...”

— Homer

348. “I’m in a place where I don’t know where I am!”

— Homer

349. “How delicate her feet who shuns the ground, Stepping a-tiptoe on the heads of men.”

— Homer

350. “Homer no function beer well without.”

— Homer