Top 80 Ichiro Kishimi Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “You are the only one who can change yourself.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

2. “But as long as one continues to use one’s misfortune to one’s advantage in order to be ‘special’, one will always need that misfortune.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

3. “Do Not Live to Satisfy the Expectations of Others.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

4. “The first step to change is knowing.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

5. “Someone has to start. Other people might not be cooperative, but that is not connected to you. My advice is this: you should start. With no regard to whether others are cooperative or not.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

6. “Your unhappiness cannot be blamed on your past or your environment. And it isn’t that you lack competence. You just lack courage. One might say you are lacking in the courage to be happy.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

7. “PHILOSOPHER: In short, that ‘freedom is being disliked by other people’.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

8. “Yes. It is a series of moments called ‘now’. We can live only in the here and now. Our lives exist only in moments. Adults who do not know this attempt to impose ‘linear’ lives onto young people. Their thinking is that staying on the conventional tracks – good university, big company, stable household – is a happy life. But life is not made up of lines or anything like that.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

9. “Loneliness is having other people and society and community around you, and having a deep sense of being excluded from them.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

10. “The more one is praised by another person, the more one forms the belief that one has no ability. Please do your best to remember this.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

11. “We do not lack ability. We just lack courage. It all comes down to courage.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

12. “PHILOSOPHER: That’s right. It’s enough to just keep moving in a forward direction, without competing with anyone. And, of course, there is no need to compare oneself with others.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

13. “You should arrive at answers on your own, and not rely upon what you get from someone else. Answers from others are nothing more than stopgap measures; they’re of no value.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

14. “Being praised essentially means that one is receiving judgment from another person as ‘good.’ And the measure of what is good or bad about that act is that person’s yardstick. If receiving praise is what one is after, one will have no choice but to adapt to that person’s yardstick and put the brakes on one’s own freedom.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

15. “It’s busy at work, so I don’t have enough time to think about my family.” But this is a life-lie. They are simply trying to avoid their other responsibilities by using work as an excuse. One ought to concern oneself with everything, from household chores and child-rearing to one’s friendships and hobbies and so on. Adler does not recognize ways of living in which certain aspects are unusually dominant.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

16. “So let’s look at other people not on the “level of acts” but on the “level of being.” Without judging whether or not other people did something, one rejoices in their being there, in their very existence, and one calls out to them with words of gratitude.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

17. “Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

18. “The attitude of the need for approval, of trying to get another person to decide one’s worth, is just dependence.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

19. “The person who assumes a boasting manner when talking about his upbringing and the like, the various misfortunes that have rained down upon him. If someone should try to comfort this person, or suggest some change be made, he’ll refuse the helping hand by saying, “You don’t understand how I feel.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

20. “Who ultimately is going to receive the result brought about by the choice that is made? When the child has made the choice of not studying, ultimately, the result of that decision – not being able to keep up in class or to get into the preferred school, for instance – does not have to be received by the parents. Clearly, it is the child who has to receive it. In other words, studying is the child’s task.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

21. “There are many adults who treat their own weakness or misfortune, their hurt, troubled background and trauma, as a weapon and plot how they will control other people. They will try to control others by making them worry and by restricting their own words and actions.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

22. “One might also think of it as movement in which the process itself is treated as the outcome. Dance is like that, and so is a journey.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

23. “Seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

24. “Unless one is unconcerned by other people’s judgments, has no fear of being disliked by other people, and pays the cost that one might never be recognized, one will never be able to follow through in one’s own way of living. That is to say, one will not be able to be free.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

25. “We cannot alter objective facts. But subjective interpretations can be altered as much as one likes. And we are inhabitants of a subjective world.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

26. “None of us live in an objective world, but instead in a subjective world that we ourselves have given meaning to. The world you see is different from the one I see, and it’s impossible to share your world with anyone else.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

27. “But those who make themselves look bigger on borrowed power are essentially living according to other people’s value systems – they are living other people’s lives. This is a point that must be emphasised.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

28. “In the teachings of Judaism, one finds a view that goes something like this: if you are not living your life for yourself, then who is going to live it for you? You are living only your own life. When it comes to who you are living it for, of course it’s you. And then, if you are not living your life for yourself, who could there be to live it instead of you? Ultimately, we live thinking about ‘I’. There is no reason that we must not think that way.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

29. “PHILOSOPHER: As Fromm says, ‘While one is consciously afraid of not being loved, the real, though usually unconscious fear is that of loving.’ And then he continues by stating, ‘To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

30. “That’s what it means to live in your subjective world. There is no escape from your own subjectivity. At present, the world seems complicated and mysterious to you, but if you change, the world will appear more simple. The issue is not about how the world is, but about how you are.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

31. “Why is it that people seek recognition from others? In many cases, it is due to the influence of reward-and-punishment education.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

32. “When we try to change our lifestyles, we put our great courage to the test. There is the anxiety generated by changing, and the disappointment attendant to not changing. I am sure you have selected the latter.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

33. “Don’t be afraid of other people looking at you, don’t pay attention to other people’s judgement and don’t seek recognition from other people. Just choose the path that is best for you and that you believe in. Furthermore, you must not intervene in other people’s tasks, and you must not allow others to intervene in your tasks, either.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

34. “If one really has a feeling of contribution, one will no longer have any need for recognition from others. Because one will already have the real awareness that “I am of use to someone,” without needing to go out of one’s way to be acknowledged by others. In other words, a person who is obsessed with the desire for recognition does not have any community feeling yet, and has not managed to engage in self-acceptance, confidence in others, or contribution to others.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

35. “What you should do now is make a decision to stop your current lifestyle. For instance, earlier you said, “If only I could be someone like Y, I’d be happy.” As long as you live that way, in the realm of the possibility of “If only such and such were the case,” you will never be able to change. Because saying “If only I could be like Y” is an excuse to yourself for not changing.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

36. “Respect denotes the ability to see a person as he is; to be aware of his unique individuality.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

37. “You are not living to satisfy other people’s expectations, and neither am I. It is not necessary to satisfy other people’s expectations.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

38. “The past you speak of is nothing more than a story skilfully compiled by ‘you now’. Please understand this point.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

39. “But is being normal, being ordinary, really such a bad thing? Is it something inferior? Or, in truth, isn’t everybody normal?”

— Ichiro Kishimi

40. “One has to stand on one’s own two feet, and take one’s own steps forward with the tasks of interpersonal relations. One needs to think not, What will this person give me? but rather, What can I give to this person? That is commitment to the community.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

41. “It is because they are one’s comrades that one can have confidence in them.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

42. “It is only when a person is able to feel that he has worth that he can possess courage.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

43. “The reason that so many people don’t really feel happy while they’re building up their success in the eyes of society is that they are living in competition.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

44. “If you think you are right, regardless of what other people’s opinions might be, the matter should be closed then and there.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

45. “Look, no matter how much you want to be Y, you cannot be reborn as him. You are not Y. It’s okay for you to be you. However, I am not saying it’s fine to be ‘just as you are’. If you are unable to really feel happy, then it’s clear that things aren’t right just as they are. You’ve got to put one foot in front of the other, and not stop.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

46. “Ah, but you are wrong. Those who go so far as to boast about things out loud actually have no confidence in themselves. As Adler clearly indicates, “The one who boasts does so only out of a feeling of inferiority.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

47. “What other people think when they see your face – that is the task of other people and is not something you have any control over.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

48. “Place value on the person being that person without pushing your own value system on them. And further, assist in their growth or unfolding. That is precisely what respect is. In the attitude of trying to manipulate or correct another person, there is no respect whatsoever.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

49. “Children who have not been taught to confront challenges will try to avoid all challenges.”

— Ichiro Kishimi

50. “That one can act on the community, that is to say, on other people, and that one can feel “I am of use to someone.” Instead of feeling judged by another person as “good,” being able to feel, by way of one’s own subjective viewpoint, that “I can make contributions to other people.” It is at that point that, at last, we can have a true sense of our own worth. Everything we have been discussing about community feeling and encouragement connects here.”

— Ichiro Kishimi