Top 80 Jackson MacKenzie Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “You’re the only one who can save yourself.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

2. “Toxic shame is the feeling that we are somehow inherently defective, that something is wrong with our being. Guilt is “I made a mistake, I did something wrong.” Shame is “I’m a mistake, something is wrong with me.” At the core of our wounding is the unbearable emotional pain resulting from having internalized the false message that we are not loved because we are personally defective and shameful. – ROBERT BURNEY.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

3. “When you restore your own inner light, you no longer require the energy of others to feel alive.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

4. “They plant little seeds of poison, whispering to everyone, idealizing them to their face, and then insulting them behind their backs. “Insulting” doesn’t really even capture the subtlety of a psychopath’s gossip. Instead of overtly trashing people, psychopaths paint themselves as victims. Someone is always wronging them in one way or another. So instead of being a backstabbing gossiper, they come across as a sympathetic victim of everyone else’s bad behavior.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

5. “When we stay with shame, we are learning how to tolerate pain. The more we can do this, the more our bodies will reveal their truth to us. Instead of instinctually avoiding pain, we can meet it with kindness and curiosity. We can ask it questions and learn about it, without being consumed by it.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

6. “Deep down, people with BPD know that many of their problems are self-caused, but acknowledging this can lead them down a dark hole of fear and shame.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

7. “You find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect to a full-grown man or woman. Normal people understand fundamental concepts like honesty and kindness. Psychopaths often appear to be childlike and innocent, but don’t let this mask fool you. No adult should need to be told how he or she is making other people feel.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

8. “Psychopaths provide shallow praise and flattery only in order to gain trust. When you actually need emotional support, they will typically offer an empty response – or they will completely ignore you. With time, this conditions you not to bother them with your feelings, even when you need a partner the most, especially during times of tragedy or illness. You will begin to notice that you are never allowed to express anything but positive praise for them.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

9. “It is recognizing and accepting the full extent of the damage this person caused, and choosing not to carry it as your own damage anymore. It means you can walk away much faster the next time.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

10. “True forgiveness comes from within, not from another person validating your compassion.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

11. “As you develop the unconditional love, what you’re essentially looking for is where your body or mind resists this love. One of the most persistent and difficult “resisters” is toxic shame. We finally stop running.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

12. “In their interpersonal relationships, this leads to early idealization in the honeymoon phase, where they groom you to become a constant source of positive energy – temporarily satisfying their pathological feelings of emptiness. But because they are also angry and impulsive, you quickly start to discover that there won’t be any room for your own happiness. Once you fail to meet their rapidly shifting standards, you will be devalued and criticized until you have nothing left to offer to them.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

13. “You think to yourself, “If they can just understand why I’m hurt, then they’ll stop doing it.” But they won’t. They wouldn’t have hurt you in the first place if they were a decent human being. The worst part is, they pretended to be decent when you first met – sucking you in with this sweet, caring persona. They know how to be kind and good, but they find it boring.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

14. “There is really only one way to diminish the protective self: stop feeding it. Instead we need to feel what’s there when we don’t indulge it.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

15. “During the relationship, you probably found yourself disliking and resenting people you’d never even met. Could that have anything to do with the psychopath’s constant suggestions that these people were all in love with them, wanted them, abused them, or were jealous of you? Over time, this builds up so much negativity and envy – more than you’d experience in any healthy relationship. And the sad part is, this same negativity is also felt toward you by everyone else.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

16. “The psychopath is constantly provoking drama, rivalries, and competitions. What separates them from everyday drama queens is their ability to appear innocent in all of it. They make subtle suggestions, then sit back and watch as others go down in flames for them.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

17. “Carl Jung wrote: “The foundation of all mental illness is the unwillingness to experience legitimate suffering.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

18. “During depression, negative thoughts find a way to stay in your mind by convincing your brain that they are more important than the positive thoughts.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

19. “Unconditional means exactly that. You do not have to be “on” all the time. Your anger, resentment, depression, fear, shame, embarrassment – it is all welcomed and cared for.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

20. “People pleasers often have no idea what they want, what their needs are, or what their boundaries look like. Everything is just about making sure others are happy. They can view any issue from another person’s perspective, making excuses for others while offering themselves none of the same flexibility.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

21. “In an argument, a “teller” will frequently remind you of how well they treat you, even after blatantly hurting you. A “show-er” will simply share their point of view without trying to twist the conversation in their favor.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

22. “You will become stronger than you could ever imagine. You will understand who you are truly meant to be. And in the end, you will be glad it happened.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

23. “It also makes them vulnerable to more gaslighting, because their defenses have weakened, and the best gaslighting victims are those who doubt themselves.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

24. “The codependent’s unbalanced relationship patterns eventually lead to serious emotional issues, which they may continue to ignore until it becomes so serious that they begin to manifest symptoms of C-PTSD – hypervigilance, revenge fantasies, mood swings, and isolation. This severe discomfort may feel unfair and wrong, but it’s actually a blessing in disguise.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

25. “When they start backing away, you feel abandoned and betrayed, as though people only love you when you’re “perfect.” But no one asked you to be perfect, you chose to do that up front because you believed it was the only way people would love you. Then eventually you burn out, drop the mask, and act out. Then people leave and the protective self says, “Oh my God, people always leave me when I’m not perfect.” But that’s not the truth.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

26. “There are more sociopaths among us than people who suffer from the much-publicized disorder of anorexia, four times as many sociopaths as schizophrenics, and one hundred times as many sociopaths as people diagnosed with a known scourge such as colon cancer. – Dr. Martha Stout, The Sociopath Next Door.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

27. “You’re afraid that you’re ruining relationships by acknowledging reality. As if it’s your responsibility to hide or enable another person’s unacceptable behavior in order to keep your relationship afloat.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

28. “With you, the psychopath acts covert, ambiguous, condescending, and always trying to keep you doubting the relationship.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

29. “Something really important to understand about the protective self is that you didn’t ask for it. Repeat that in your mind a few times: You didn’t ask for the protective self to take over. This was a physiological response from your own body, tensing or blocking or numbing to protect you. You didn’t go through a trauma and say, “Okay, body, numb me out now!” Decisions were made without your approval or awareness.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

30. “It’s not your job to manage the emotions of others.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

31. “Codependent forgiveness is this fantasized tear-filled beautiful reconciliation where everything is magically cured by love and compassion. As with most codependent issues, it’s focused on other people. Their problems. Their childhood. Their past. You think you understand them so much, maybe even more than they understand themselves! You make up excuses and reasons for them, your heart melts, you take them back, and then they hurt you again.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

32. “Psychopaths do not actually feel the love and happiness that they so frequently proclaim. They oscillate between contempt, envy, and boredom. Nothing more.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

33. “If someone’s opinion of you goes from sky-high to rock bottom, this isn’t normal.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

34. “Delayed arrogance is common in sociopaths. When you first meet, they’ll seem unusually innocent, humble, childlike, and thoughtful. But as time goes by, they inevitably transform into a monster: manipulative, arrogant, and neglectful.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

35. “You cannot heal a False Conclusion, because it is False. You must ‘see’ the False Conclusion as a False Conclusion and discard it. You can never overcome or heal your False Core, you can only be free of it by realizing it is not you.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

36. “Now the idea of forgiveness is unacceptable. Absolutely not! This person overstepped their boundaries too many times. Forgiving would make you a pushover. It would mean going back to that terrible behavior – giving them another chance.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

37. “Spirituality makes a really nice companion to therapy, because it provides love and warmth that you can tap into any time.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

38. “You’re essentially sitting with years or decades of ignored emotions. All you need to do is listen and respond only with kindness. You do not need to judge or analyze what’s going on. Instead, simply welcome these feelings. Let them in.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

39. “You’re a human being worthy of love and mercy.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

40. “You can break this cycle by meeting your own internal pain with self-love and a heartfelt understanding that this experience truly was not your fault. Whatever happened to them to cause this disorder was likely not their fault either, but now you see that your love cannot possibly break that psychological barrier. Your first priority is to turn your focus inward, allowing yourself to feel the emotions you were told were wrong.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

41. “For me, it felt like mind, body, and spirit reunited. I had forgotten what it was like to feel love and joy for no reason. It was a physical sensation through my heart, tingling and dissolving, flooding with a sensation I cannot describe with words. Heavy things like depression and anxiety were like distant dreams – they no longer even made sense to me.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

42. “When you are the most important person who can disappoint or inspire you, everything becomes very exciting. It also becomes quieter. Because it’s a lot easier to be a quiet, genuine version of you than it is to frantically maintain a loud version of you that isn’t really you at all. If you find yourself desperately trying to prove to the rest of the world that a certain version of yourself is the real you, then it’s probably not the truest version of you.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

43. “In their careers, they probably work harder than most people and accomplish an incredible amount, but then come back to a voice that says, “You’re just faking, you’re a fraud, it was easy, anyone could have done that.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

44. “Many survivors find that they didn’t really know how to express sadness or anger throughout most of their lives. They were instead expected to be a cheerful servant to everyone around them. And so they developed this stubborn light in their hearts that always sought to see the best in everything, no matter how much the evidence pointed to the contrary.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

45. “Forgiveness starts with understanding the true severity of these disorders. The disorder is so ingrained in the fabric of their personality that any promise of change must be disregarded as part of their disorder.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

46. “The problem is when shame goes from an emotion to an identity.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

47. “So much of what we learn about love is taught by people who never really loved us. – R. H. SIN.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

48. “It’s also not normal to trash an ex and then hang out with them on a daily basis.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

49. “Unlike people with other mental disorders, psychopaths are keenly aware of the impact that their behavior has on others. That’s half the fun for them – watching people suffer.”

— Jackson MacKenzie

50. “This doesn’t happen on purpose, it’s just a coping mechanism when a trusted loved one rejects or harms us in a very confusing way. Even if we point our fingers and say, “No, you’re bad!” the damage is already done.”

— Jackson MacKenzie