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Top 160 John Hodgman Quotes (2024 Update)
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John Hodgman Quote: “Everything we make in life, eventually, is sold for a dollar or a penny or given away;.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Terry Gross. I would rush home from high school to listen to Terry Gross.”
John Hodgman Quote: “We have all been empowered by the web: everyone with a keyboard can now effectively broadcast to a national audience. In a sense, it puts each of us on the same footing as the major media conglomerates, except for AOL, who now apparently own all our thoughts and teeth.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Every evening my wife makes us martinis and we talk about our days as I cook dinner and our children ignore us. It is a great pleasure in our lives: this rediscovering of each other as our children age. It is our indulgence.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I was always fascinated with the way that things pop on the Internet – the ways you build communities and create little stories and ideas that people play around with and send back to you.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you’re still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. When you look at it that way, it’s not that much fun.”
John Hodgman Quote: “When I listen to music – I don’t particularly do it for fun all that much. It’s not a big part of my life, and I’m not really on top of what’s happening in the world of music in the way I was when I was a teenager.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Generally speaking, I, like anyone else who does anything publicly, like it when people like what I do, and would like to hear as much.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I do not think that a museum needs to engage with pop culture in order to make itself interesting to museumgoers. Museums are already interesting and engaging with pop culture for its own sake is just a quick way to seem and become dated.”
John Hodgman Quote: “The reality is that there is an enormous value to gut-check instinctive decision-making in the world that is not hampered by reams and reams of research and complexity.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I say, if you’re going to eat a creature alive, you have to expect some screaming. That is the carnivore’s burden.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I never stopped feeling abject terror until I got on television and went on a national ad campaign and realized, “I will be able to feed my children. I have somehow averted the destiny that awaited me, which is endless, crippling debt forever.””
John Hodgman Quote: “As a freelance writer, I’d be asked to become an expert for various magazines on any subject, whether food or wine or history or the life span of veterinarians. I was completely unschooled in any of these things.”
John Hodgman Quote: “So much of creativity is the feeling that you’re either getting a gift from some other dimension or some other part of yourself.”
John Hodgman Quote: “And then he could bring up the sail and let the prevailing winds carry him back to shore, thus making a living entirely on his own, almost without ever having to see or speak to another human ever in his life, which I am convinced is the secret dream of every person in Maine.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Everyone is doing what they have to do, and everyone is doing the best they can. And soon you will be going home.”
John Hodgman Quote: “This is not to say that there are not Chicagoans. But I would suggest that they are a nomadic people, whose lost home exists only in their minds, and in the glowing crystal memory cells that they all carry in the palms of their hands: a great idea of a second city, lit with life and love, reasonable drink prices at cool bars, and, of course, blocks and blocks of bright and devastating fire.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Part of the transaction between writer and reader is the pleasure of building a community and encouraging people to play along.”
John Hodgman Quote: “What would I put in a museum? Probably a museum! That’s an amusing relic of our past.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I realized that even in a world of proliferating media venues, online and in print, and on TV and on countless cable channels, the idea that I could be considered an expert on chronic knee pain was I think troubling for society, but very exciting for me.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I’m a personality – like a George Plimpton who effectively plays himself in a bunch of different roles, or a Paul Lynde-type character.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I don’t wish to brag, but I’m very intelligent.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the Earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been forced into a mold to shape them. Please note that those turkeys are called hams.”
John Hodgman Quote: “She taught me that the world would continue without me. And eventually I learned that lesson. It took some time... Everything is cliche. Her death taught me that life is short.”
John Hodgman Quote: “This country is founded on some very noble ideals but also some very big lies. One is that everyone has a fair chance at success. Another is that rich people have to be smart and hardworking or else they wouldn’t be rich. Another is that if you’re not rich, don’t worry about it, because rich people aren’t really happy. I am the white male living proof that all of that is garbage.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Life may be miraculous in its unlikelihood in the universe, but it would be a fallacy to suggest that its rareness makes it inextinguishable.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I am someone who values truth – actual truth as opposed to ‘truthiness.’”
John Hodgman Quote: “As a live stand-up comedy performer, I have the benefit of choosing real entrance music.”
John Hodgman Quote: “This is a book about me, at what I hope is the beginning of the second half of my life and not the brief, final tenth.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Unfortunately for humanity, I’ve gotten into the habit of providing my own closing music for shows by singing a song and playing the ukulele.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Jonathan is a musician and my best friend. I hope he does not read that last part. I would never call him my “best friend” to his face. I am from Massachusetts and he is from Connecticut, and New Englanders do not say things like that.”
John Hodgman Quote: “My biggest superhero of writing is Jorge Luis Borges, the Argentine fabulist. He’s an amazingly perceptive writer, but also willing to make a joke.”
John Hodgman Quote: “All books should be trilogies; I mean I think we all agree on that.”
John Hodgman Quote: “What I collect? Interesting jobs. Always to my thrill and excitement, but ultimately to my exhaustion, I collect interesting jobs. If an interesting job comes along, I take it; that’s why I do so many things. I’m lucky to be able to.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I love my father. It’s not his fault that he made up a fear and, in order to make it feel more real to him, gave it to me. I was obviously built to receive it.”
John Hodgman Quote: “We who are white men can’t change who we are. But we could do worse than to follow what I took that summer as his example: to be aware of and curious about the world around you, to give what you have with neither apology nor self-congratulation. When praise comes to see you, get out on the fire escape. When it’s someone else’s time to talk, listen. Don’t turn your house into a museum. When your work is done, get out of the way.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I have learned that newborn infants roll their eyes around and move their heads and their arms in short jerky spasms. And if you homeschool them, they will stay this way forever.”
John Hodgman Quote: “By the time I was writing the second book, my life had changed rather dramatically, thanks to the intervention of television, and I needed to find a way to discuss that. Otherwise the big, fake book would not be true on some level.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Hipsterism is the purposeful cultivation of uncool and esoteric tastes, and sometimes a shortcut to that aesthetic is to embrace the ugly.”
John Hodgman Quote: “He was over there making Yes album covers, and here I was, with my gaudy Trump Towers of rock junk.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I used to enjoy the anonymity of being a literary figure and occasionally a public radio figure.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I am a marginally employed person who can escape with my school teacher wife to the waters of Maine for much of the summer.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Don’t concentrate on becoming a better humor writer, just concentrate on being the best writer that you can become. If you’re funny, the work will end up being funny. And if you’re not funny, the work will still end up being good. Concentrate on being the most honest writer you can be, and let everything else follow – because it will.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Anyone of conscience could come look at my book and see it as an esoteric oddity or be intrigued by it. It could happen either way on a thousand different little decisions each individual might make.”
John Hodgman Quote: “So I am a product of the Internet, and to some degree a product of this sensibility of constant cultural reference.”
John Hodgman Quote: “People who run for president seriously and people who become president enter a bizarre secret society in which they have had an experience that none of us will ever have.”
John Hodgman Quote: “This is something that the nimblest standup comedians learn, over time, to handle gracefully. They’ll go between prepared material, then they’ll respond to what’s happening in the room and weave it back into the prepared material and so on.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Why certain political classes want purposefully to keep Americans in a state of perpetual debt and uncertainty and why certain people don’t want a middle class – because middle class creates a certain happiness. You know what I mean?”
John Hodgman Quote: “There is no peace in dying.”
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