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Top 160 John Hodgman Quotes (2025 Update)
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John Hodgman Quote: “Why certain political classes want purposefully to keep Americans in a state of perpetual debt and uncertainty and why certain people don’t want a middle class – because middle class creates a certain happiness. You know what I mean?”

151. “Why certain political classes want purposefully to keep Americans in a state of perpetual debt and uncertainty and why certain people don’t want a middle class – because middle class creates a certain happiness. You know what I mean?”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “There is no peace in dying.”

152. “There is no peace in dying.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “I have an unfortunate compulsion. I really would rather not do it, as it is very nerve-wracking and un-fun. But when it works, there is nothing like it.”

153. “I have an unfortunate compulsion. I really would rather not do it, as it is very nerve-wracking and un-fun. But when it works, there is nothing like it.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “Even as a grown-up, I love pretending to be a grown-up.”

154. “Even as a grown-up, I love pretending to be a grown-up.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “My career as a magazine writer was largely prefaced on the idea of curiosity, to go on adventures and weasel my way into the lives of people that I admire.”

155. “My career as a magazine writer was largely prefaced on the idea of curiosity, to go on adventures and weasel my way into the lives of people that I admire.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “A lot of media that that I want to consume, I don’t want to have to own forever and ever. It’s not like real estate.”

156. “A lot of media that that I want to consume, I don’t want to have to own forever and ever. It’s not like real estate.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “You wouldn’t want to live a life in which you are loved or approved by all people on Earth or even within your own geodetic dome full of your jumpsuited followers.”

157. “You wouldn’t want to live a life in which you are loved or approved by all people on Earth or even within your own geodetic dome full of your jumpsuited followers.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “The few people who ask to have their photographs with me, I almost always say yes, except for a few circumstances, like when my family is around.”

158. “The few people who ask to have their photographs with me, I almost always say yes, except for a few circumstances, like when my family is around.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “I think that by the time I start writing the third book, of course, I will be President Of The United States, and that also will have something to do with it. I’ll probably have to acknowledge that somehow.”

159. “I think that by the time I start writing the third book, of course, I will be President Of The United States, and that also will have something to do with it. I’ll probably have to acknowledge that somehow.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “It takes a long time for white guys to appreciate that they are breakable. They do not live from birth with the daily fear that they might be attacked or detained or killed. Their bodies are not constant targets of power. Their bodies are power, so they throw those bodies up and down mountains and stairs and out of airplanes and into pointless online yelling matches for fun. They just presume they will survive.”

160. “It takes a long time for white guys to appreciate that they are breakable. They do not live from birth with the daily fear that they might be attacked or detained or killed. Their bodies are not constant targets of power. Their bodies are power, so they throw those bodies up and down mountains and stairs and out of airplanes and into pointless online yelling matches for fun. They just presume they will survive.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “I suspect that when the truth ceases to be heartbreakingly funny, we will be in a better place and a happier society over all.”

161. “I suspect that when the truth ceases to be heartbreakingly funny, we will be in a better place and a happier society over all.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “This is one of the defining sorrows of books: that we cannot see one another.”

162. “This is one of the defining sorrows of books: that we cannot see one another.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “It seems that every generation needs its public, tweedy, literary personality to sell its consumer electronics. To whatever degree I can live up to the Plimptonian legacy, I am humble and proud.”

163. “It seems that every generation needs its public, tweedy, literary personality to sell its consumer electronics. To whatever degree I can live up to the Plimptonian legacy, I am humble and proud.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “Hosting a TV show is a full-time job in which success is defined by it never ending.”

164. “Hosting a TV show is a full-time job in which success is defined by it never ending.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “As you know, the thing that I know the least about is the topic of sports.”

165. “As you know, the thing that I know the least about is the topic of sports.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “I believe that the federal government should be laying down broadband like Eisenhower laid down interstates.”

166. “I believe that the federal government should be laying down broadband like Eisenhower laid down interstates.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “Comedy does offer an avenue to television and film careers for untelegenic people that great drama does not.”

167. “Comedy does offer an avenue to television and film careers for untelegenic people that great drama does not.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “I would be good for maybe not the center square but an upper square on ‘Hollywood Squares.’”

168. “I would be good for maybe not the center square but an upper square on ‘Hollywood Squares.’”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “Yale was founded before the advent of the fraternity system, so the white men of generations past had to make up their own structures for sub-erotic bonding and pointless tribalism.”

169. “Yale was founded before the advent of the fraternity system, so the white men of generations past had to make up their own structures for sub-erotic bonding and pointless tribalism.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “My memories of literary agenting are of a very happy time and there are surprising reminders of it coming back now.”

170. “My memories of literary agenting are of a very happy time and there are surprising reminders of it coming back now.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “Terry Gross has never had me on her show and you know, it’s her show; she sets the agenda and that’s not Hodgman. But I’ll still listen to it.”

171. “Terry Gross has never had me on her show and you know, it’s her show; she sets the agenda and that’s not Hodgman. But I’ll still listen to it.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “These violent delights will have violent ends!” My son didn’t get the Westworld reference.”

172. “These violent delights will have violent ends!” My son didn’t get the Westworld reference.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “It is a consuming knowledge, an overwhelming sadness for what is lost that makes enjoyment of the present impossible.”

173. “It is a consuming knowledge, an overwhelming sadness for what is lost that makes enjoyment of the present impossible.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “You may think it’s enough to just read Val Kilmer’s wine blog and drink whatever he recommends. And for the most part, you would be right. But sometimes Val Kilmer gets confused and drinks Thousand Island salad dressing, and so it’s important to develop your own palate as well.”

174. “You may think it’s enough to just read Val Kilmer’s wine blog and drink whatever he recommends. And for the most part, you would be right. But sometimes Val Kilmer gets confused and drinks Thousand Island salad dressing, and so it’s important to develop your own palate as well.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “For some people, status is what protects them from oblivion. And when they feel their status is slipping away from them, they act fearfully, irrationally.”

175. “For some people, status is what protects them from oblivion. And when they feel their status is slipping away from them, they act fearfully, irrationally.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “As a father now myself, it’s sobering to think about how the smallest comments will ripple through your children’s lives, with some leaving permanent warps. I must console myself in the certainty that I am helping them and damaging them in other ways I cannot see.”

176. “As a father now myself, it’s sobering to think about how the smallest comments will ripple through your children’s lives, with some leaving permanent warps. I must console myself in the certainty that I am helping them and damaging them in other ways I cannot see.”

— John Hodgman

John Hodgman Quote: “A public road had been closed to us so that a rich man could watch the Super Bowl in his playhouse and show his rich friends the nuclear football.”

177. “A public road had been closed to us so that a rich man could watch the Super Bowl in his playhouse and show his rich friends the nuclear football.”

— John Hodgman

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