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John Hodgman Quotes

John Hodgman Quote: “Specificity is the soul of narrative.”
John Hodgman Quote: “That which is hard to do is best done bitterly.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Only the nerds will save the earth.”
John Hodgman Quote: “A stopped clock is correct twice a day, but a sundial can be used to stab someone, even at nighttime.”
John Hodgman Quote: “You are only pretentious if you are not sincere.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I am not beautiful, so I don’t know why I’m making myself ugly. But the mustache stays.”
John Hodgman Quote: “My type of humor is me not caring whether people know what I’m talking about or not.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Do not listen to the killjoys who tell you never to eat oysters in months that do not contain the letter R: May, June, July, August, Octoba. You know.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I think for the foreseeable future, the truth is going to be awful and funny all at the same time.”
John Hodgman Quote: “A lot of my time is spent reading antique or out-of-print books of reference.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I would say 70 percent of people who are in therapy are in therapy not because of their upbringing, not because of their mean sister or obsessions, but because of anxiety brought about by lack of financial security.”
John Hodgman Quote: “All I can ask from society is that it please stop telling me why I should like sports.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I am someone who values knowledge, actual knowledge. I also value stories and fiction a whole lot, and that’s where the fake knowledge comes in.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Everyone wants to write a book. Very few people are able to do it.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I have a lot of cultural references that have amassed in my brain like shrapnel over the years that are meaningful to me.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I know nothing about letting go.”
John Hodgman Quote: “How to Win a Fight – Step 1: Always make eye contact. Step 2: Go ahead and use henchmen – these days it’s unnecessary and frowned upon to fight your own battles, especially with so many henchmen out of work. Step 3: Run lots of attack ads – I have run about 500 attack ads this year, and I expect that I will buy even more air time next year, because my enemies are getting stronger.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I would definitely make eggs for the rest of my life if I could.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Maine’s motto is “Vacationland,” but as far as I’m concerned, it should be, “Maine: Putting the ‘spite’ in hospitality since 1820.””
John Hodgman Quote: “Any time you try to create an Internet meme, automatic fail. That’s like the worst thing you can do.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I think, as we all learn as a child, you have to learn to tolerate ambiguity better and I’m still terrible at it and I hate it; even the word ambiguity makes me sick to me stomach.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I think in American culture, we put value on economic success but tell people you don’t have to be economically successful to be happy.”
John Hodgman Quote: “By the way, if I have my own cult of personality with my own geodetic dome in western Massachusetts, I will have a hurt yurt for anyone who crosses me.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Just a small-scale cult of personality, maybe raise a geodetic dome out in western Massachusetts and make people wear jumpsuits and give all their possessions to me.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Borges was unapologetically smart and equally sentimental; a proto-geek, blind to distinctions between low pulp fiction and high criticism, experimental but never arch, and always playful, with a humor as dry as dust.”
John Hodgman Quote: “There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Writing for me always requires trickery. Tricking myself into sitting down, letting words tumble out until you find the good ones. t’s sort of a trance. And when a piece is done, I have little memory of how I wrote it, and zero confidence I’d ever be able to do it again.”
John Hodgman Quote: “The reality is that if you want to be in a reality-based community, you’ve got to respect reality and that means calling it bad when you see the past ahead and it doesn’t look good and acknowledging when it’s going to work.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Even the worst job has its benefits and so does being a professional literary agent, and – I know I said this at the time but I still believe it – the worst job is the one that you know is wrong for you, but you still do it. You’re afraid to quit.”
John Hodgman Quote: “The villain of any story is often the most compelling character.”
John Hodgman Quote: “John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I don’t watch television. And certainly not ads; I loathe advertising.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Elwyn Brooks White was a very Maine personality which is, “I hate everyone and everyone stay away from me.””
John Hodgman Quote: “Americans don’t need a metaphor for war. We have war. If anything, we use war as a metaphor for sports.”
John Hodgman Quote: “When you think about it, the end of the world is a little bit like death: We all know it’s going to come eventually, and as we get older, we feel we see the signs more and more distinctly.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Most people presume my mustache is not real because it’s much darker than my regular hair.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I would say aside from Moxie soda bottles and Masonic artifacts, there’s nothing I really collect.”
John Hodgman Quote: “When a good friend gives you his or her book, you don’t want to read it, because you’re afraid that it’s not going be what you hope it can be.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Traffic counting was very boring and cold to sit out on the streets of New Haven in five pairs of pants – well, that’s an exaggeration; it was three pairs of pants – in November for hours and hours clicking buttons counting which cars go left, right, and forward.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I made an impulse buy of a house in Maine to make my wife happy and now have gone back into debt and it’s all started over for me.”
John Hodgman Quote: “It’s been a tough couple of years for condescending nerds. And if bookstores fall, Jon, America will be inundated with a wandering, snarky underclass of unemployable purveyors of useless and arcane esoterica.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I’ve made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don’t care if anybody likes me, I’m going to do what I want to do. I’m going to do a whole comedy show about swimming in the loathsomely cold waters of Maine.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I am not an Internet superstar. I am, ironically perhaps, the most old media superstar of all time. My fame is due to broadcast television.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I have no skills. I mean, I can make jokes, I’m pretty good at talking to people on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I can figure out what makes a pretty good story, and I can make eggs really well.”
John Hodgman Quote: “You know the old saying: “History is written by the winners. And also, the team of hand-picked historians that the winner keeps hidden away in an underground bunker”.”
John Hodgman Quote: “I am not an Internet superstar.”
John Hodgman Quote: “What I collect? Interesting jobs. Always to my thrill and excitement, but ultimately to my exhaustion, I collect interesting jobs. If an interesting job comes along, I take it; that’s why I do so many things. I’m lucky to be able to.”
John Hodgman Quote: “Terry Gross. I would rush home from high school to listen to Terry Gross.”
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