Top 160 Jonathan Stroud Quotes (2026 Update)
Page 3 of 4

101. “George will be at home, I should think,” Lockwood said easily. “Probably making one of his chicken-and-sweetcorn pies. He’s really very domesticated.” Sir Rupert smiled approvingly. “Sounds scrumptious. I must pop round to Portland Row sometime.” “Please do,” Lockwood said. “I’d love that.” “Good night, then.” “Good night.” We pattered swiftly down the steps and set off up the Strand. “One day,” Lockwood said, “I’m clearly going to have to kill him. Not now, but sometime soon.”

— Jonathan Stroud

102. “It wasn’t the body,” he said. “I’ve seen worse things in our fridge.”

— Jonathan Stroud

103. “According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. I’ve never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you’re also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking.”

— Jonathan Stroud

104. “Never touch a mummified body part if you don’t know where it’s been. That’s my motto.”

— Jonathan Stroud

105. “There was a profound silence, abruptly broken by an enormously loud rumble from George’s stomach. Plaster didn’t actually fall from the ceiling, but it was close.”

— Jonathan Stroud

106. “There was a devotion to detail here that could only come with genuine affection, perhaps even with love.”

— Jonathan Stroud

107. “He was very close to me. Our hands stayed on the windowsill like they were glued there. All at once he stepped back. “In the meantime,” he said, “there are ghosts to foil and lives to save. But right now it’s a lovely evening, and I’m going for a stroll. That was the other thing I wanted, to see if you’d come with me.” He adjusted his collar. “It’s the first outing for my new coat. What do you think of it?”

— Jonathan Stroud

108. “Ooh, I smell something burning... Wait, wait – it’s your pants ! Your pants are on fire, you massive liar ! You so weren’t on a case !”

— Jonathan Stroud

109. “The caretaker was certainly very ancient, a tight and desiccated thing from which all softness and moisture had long since been extracted.”

— Jonathan Stroud

110. “His face was uniquely slapable – a nun would have ached to punch him – while his backside cried out to heaven for a well-placed kick.”

— Jonathan Stroud

111. “I – though forced through lack of space to assume the form of a stoic guinea pig crouched between the girl’s shoe and the glove compartment – was my usual dignified self.”

— Jonathan Stroud

112. “There was a loud cough from the man on the stand. I replaced My Magic Mirror carefully on his tray, gave him a cheesy smile, and went my way.”

— Jonathan Stroud

113. “Mum’s dead.” “I’m sorry,” Lockwood said. A shrug of bony shoulders. “The good news is, she hasn’t risen again. So far.” There was a silence. “Try the cake,” George said. “It’s good.”

— Jonathan Stroud

114. “Yes, all the inhabitants of the store had left. But that didn’t mean we were alone.”

— Jonathan Stroud

115. “What could it be? Not a date, surely – the boy’s got eyes.”

— Jonathan Stroud

116. “More ghosts have been created in bedrooms than anywhere else.”

— Jonathan Stroud

117. “Believe me, I know all about bottle acoustics. I spent much of the sixth century in an old sesame oil jar, corked with wax, bobbing about in the Red Sea. No one heard my hollers. In the end an old fisherman set me free, by which time I was desperate enough to grant him several wishes. I erupted in the form of a smoking giant, did a few lightning bolts, and bent to ask him his desire. Poor old boy had dropped dead of a heart attack. There should be a moral there, but for the life of me I can’t see one.”

— Jonathan Stroud

118. “Those statues were exquisitely carved, without exception; that was what the Egyptians were really good at, along with organized religion and civil engineering.”

— Jonathan Stroud

119. “That old cow gave me a right old whack. See this horrible red blob?”

— Jonathan Stroud

120. “Lockwood gave a sudden exclamation; when I looked at him, his eyes were shining. ‘On second thoughts, we can scrap my last suggestion,’ he said. ‘Stuff the mingling. Who wants to do that? Boring. George – this library. Where is it?”

— Jonathan Stroud

121. “This guy’s a drag.” I spoke under my breath. “He sure is.” “Know what I suggest?” “Yep. And the answer’s no. I’m not going to kill him.” “Oh, you’re no fun.”

— Jonathan Stroud

122. “He gripped me tighter around the waist and pulled me to him. “No,” he said into my ear. “No, Lucy. That’s not the way it’s going to be.”

— Jonathan Stroud

123. “Time snapped back into one piece. I was wholly in the present, alert and questioning.”

— Jonathan Stroud

124. “It was a time of beginnings and a time of endings.”

— Jonathan Stroud

125. “They were hot, itchy, and hard to see out of, plus the wool covered our mouths and made it difficult to speak. Aside from that, it was a joy to wear them.”

— Jonathan Stroud

126. “In my eyes, refusing cake is an immoral act.”

— Jonathan Stroud

127. “Oh, the boots were on the other eight feet now.”

— Jonathan Stroud

128. “Well, with luck we’ll miss the beginning of the performance.”

— Jonathan Stroud

129. “Sorry for what? Your appearance? Your character? Wait, I bet it’s your smell. Twenty-four hours of terror, violence, chases, and being for all intents and purposes dead plays havoc with the armpits. Don’t let Lockwood step downwind of you tonight, that’s all I’m saying.”

— Jonathan Stroud

130. “Probing psychological analysis is one thing: namely impartial observation, liberally spiced with sarcasm and personal abuse – let’s face it, I’m good at all that – constructive suggestions, quite another.”

— Jonathan Stroud

131. “Hey, it was his first time. I wanted to scare him.”

— Jonathan Stroud

132. “Okay, well, if you do want to come with me, Luce, I’ll be in the hall.” He went to the door, paused, and grinned back at me. “And don’t forget to sign the statement!” With that, he was pattering down the stairs.”

— Jonathan Stroud

133. “The Hermit was known to be pretty sniffy about disciples who returned in failure. There was a wall of the institute layered with their skins- an ingenious display that encouraged vigor in his students, as well as nicely keeping out the drafts.”

— Jonathan Stroud

134. “Let’s have the baddish one first,′ George said. ‘I prefer my misery to come at me in stages, so I can acclimatize on the way.”

— Jonathan Stroud

135. “A warm feeling filled me. It was made of tea and biscuits and sudden gratitude.”

— Jonathan Stroud

136. “Oh, we’ll suffer in silence. You’ve given us plenty of practice at that.”

— Jonathan Stroud

137. “But Holly the gun-toting, wild-haired madwoman of the night before was in there somewhere, I knew. It made me look upon her with fond affection.”

— Jonathan Stroud

138. “Long ago I dreamed of being a hero in your company” Halli said Huskily “I’m sorry to say your reality disappoints me.”

— Jonathan Stroud

139. “Like the rest of the team, neither of us had wanted to do anything much, other than eat and sleep and enjoy the pure mechanics of being alive. But now he was here.”

— Jonathan Stroud

140. “It was higher and shriller than Holly’s, so we knew that it was Kipps.”

— Jonathan Stroud

141. “To my astonishment I saw him standing at a table with Kitty Jones. It was the Kitty Jones bit that was astonishing. Not the table. Though it was very nicely polished.”

— Jonathan Stroud

142. “We trespassed in the city of the dead, and all our skills and talents counted for nothing.”

— Jonathan Stroud

143. “Because you’re unique. You shine like a beacon, attracting the attention of all dark things.” It chuckled. “Why do you think I’m chatting with you?”

— Jonathan Stroud

144. “I’d never punched an old lady before; I didn’t have any problem doing so now.”

— Jonathan Stroud

145. “Can I offer you some tea while you ransack our place?′ Lockwood asked politely.”

— Jonathan Stroud

146. “This city,′ said George, ’is going to hell in a handcart.”

— Jonathan Stroud

147. “Wrong. I’m not alone. I have my friends.”

— Jonathan Stroud

148. “It’s everywhere. It’s right on top of us. It coils around us like a snake. We’re all inside it. It’s already swallowed us whole.”

— Jonathan Stroud

149. “I don’t know how old the man was... but he was definitely closer to coffin than crib.”

— Jonathan Stroud

150. “Mr Lockwood,′ he said slowly. ‘It’s like the end of the world.”

— Jonathan Stroud