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Top 140 Lani Lynn Vale Quotes (2025 Update)
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Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. -Morticia Adams.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Probably because your boobs are too big and require too much oxygen to fuel your brain like most normal human beings.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “She asked me to say something sexy to her, so I whispered, “I’m a fireman.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “There is a fine line between wearing makeup and looking like Crayola gangbanged your face.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Why are there upper and lowercase letters, but not numbers? Sometimes I want to write loud numbers, and I can’t do that since there aren’t any uppercase numbers.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Don’t half ass anything. Whatever you do, use your full ass. -Coffee Cup.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “They say laughter is the best medicine. They lie. Its brownies. -E-card Jack.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Be a unicorn, not a twatapotamus.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “The most deadly mammal on the planet is a silent, smiling woman. -Note to self.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “I may not voice my opinion often, but when I do you need to shut your filthy, donkey humping mouth and listen to what I have to say. -Word of advice.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Tall, blonde, tatted, sexy, and a devoted father. I think I’ll need some new panties now. -Reese’s secret thoughts.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do will probably be put on YouTube by the time you make bail. -Fact of life.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “I’m sorry for the things I said when you woke me up. Next time just bring me coffee and run. Fast. -Sincerely, not a morning person.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “I’m sorry for what I said when you tried to wake me up. I don’t control that me. -Rue to Cleo Rue.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “I’m not sure if Target knows this, but there’s a whole demographic of women who want to wear shorts that don’t show off their twat.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Firemen never die, they just burn forever in the hearts of the people whose lives they saved.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “We all have that one friend you need to say ‘be nice’ to before you introduce them to someone. I’m that friend. -Audrey’s secret thoughts.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “I read to escape reality, not to have reality intrude in my fairytales.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “There’s a fine line to how much stupidity I can take before it exceeds the limits of my medication. And unfortunately for you, you just crossed it. -Mig to perp.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Don’t be a twatsicle.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “You know you have the key to a man’s heart when you have the keys to his truck. ‘Cause there’s no fuckin way he’d give those up if he wasn’t planning on taking payment in orgasms later. -Life Lesson.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my comforter up last night. If that doesn’t accurately sum up my day, I don’t know what does.” – Apple to Ridley.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Adulthood is like looking both ways to cross a street only to get hit by a falling object. Unpredictable and headache inducing.” – fact of life.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Men are usually too focused on the cleavage in the shirt to see the crazy in the eyes. -Life Lesson.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “A book a day keeps reality away. -Coffee Cup Codie.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Do you want to know what I got for Christmas? Fat. I got fat.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Admit it. You sleep with your feet covered because you’re too afraid of something touching them in the middle of the night. -Food for thought.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “After watching copious amounts of crime shows, I concluded that serial killers only target young attractive women with matching panty and bra sets. I feel much safer now.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out. -Memphis to her dad.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “More than I need my next breath. More than I need a drink in the middle of an Iraqi sand storm. More than I wanted sleep during Hell Week,” I whispered, looking deeply into her eyes. “More than absolutely anything. More than my own happiness. More than my own life. That’s how much I love you.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “I’m not a violent person unless you wake me up early. Even a minute early. Ever do that again, and I’ll cut you. -Text from Tasha to Annie Mig.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Some people care too much. I think it’s called love. -Winnie the Pooh.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “That was my go-to emotion lately. When I wanted to scream, I stayed silent. When I wanted to cry, hit something or complain, I stayed silent.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “I would do Christian Grey-ish things to you.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Gabe was Puerto Rican.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “His eyes never wavered, but the sparkle in his eyes told me he was amused by my nervousness. They pretty much said, ‘As well you should be. I’m about to devour you.’ His white.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “I hope you fall down with your hands in your pockets. -E-Card.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “When we get old, I want you to move into the same nursing home as me, so then when I start forgetting who I am, we can become new friends.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “I didn’t mean to gain this much weight. It happened by snackcident.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “If he puts his hand on your head to keep you from bumping it when he helps you in the car. -You might be a police wife.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “A wave of possessiveness overcame me as I took in all the men from the station, as well as my own MC members, staring at the lovely vision before me. I wanted to rip their eyes from their sockets just for staring at my woman, but refrained.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “As I listened to his retreat, and Kosher’s claws following in his wake, I felt around for Radar’s head and pulled him in close to my chest. Then I whispered the same prayer that I did every time he left me to go on shift. “Keep him safe, day and night. Give him courage, strength and might.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “A lot of people didn’t like cops just on general principle. They had no problem calling us when they were in need of our services, though. Even the ones that had a problem with our authority, like.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Why is it so hard to draw a star without the lines in the middle? -One of life’s unanswered questions.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “The object of war is not to die for your country, but make the other bastard die for his. -George S. Patton.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “My heart bleeds as I think about losing the man that I compared all my potential husband’s to. -Blake.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “They say I have a mild case of PTSD. One that doesn’t really make itself known until it’s the dark of night.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “Kids are our future. They’ve got nothing but rose colored glasses on, and don’t have an ounce of corruption in them yet. Teach them right, and they could save the world. Treat them badly, and they can become their own worst enemy.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “If I’m in a parking space about to back out, and you honk at me, you better believe I’ll sit there until I die. -Fact of Life.”
Lani Lynn Vale Quote: “I’m going to get some glow in the dark shoes so I can enlighten your ass.-Katy’s secret thoughts.”
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