Top 80 Larry Correia Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “You look into the abyss and the abyss looks back,” I said, shrugging. “Then you punch the abyss in the face.”

— Larry Correia

2. “I blame it on Twilight. In real life, vampires only sparkle when they’re on fire.”

— Larry Correia

3. “On an otherwise normal Tuesday evening I had the chance to live the American Dream. I was able to throw my incompetent jackass of a boss from a fourteenth-story window.”

— Larry Correia

4. “Their patch was a molecule with fangs under the words exite! chemicus sum! Which was Latin for, Back off, man! I’m a scientist!”

— Larry Correia

5. “Fish and Wildlife wants to fine us for killing a giant mutant Tennessee River catfish because it was endangered. Sure it had just crawled up on land and eaten some teenagers, but it was still an endangered species.”

— Larry Correia

6. “Nothing a wrench to the face couldn’t fix.” Heinrich answered. “But I suppose a wrench to the face solves most personnel issues.”

— Larry Correia

7. “Rule number one of a gunfight, bring a gun. Rule number two of a gunfight, bring friends with guns.” “Friends.”

— Larry Correia

8. “Canada? Please. That’s like they took Vermont and made a whole country out of it, only more boring, and without the good maple syrup.”

— Larry Correia

9. “Evil can kill you, break your body, and sometimes it can even break your mind, but only you can break your spirit.”

— Larry Correia

10. “With his long red beard, and bristling with firearms and knives, he reminded me of a pirate. A very mellow pirate, but a pirate nonetheless.”

— Larry Correia

11. “You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot further with a smile and a gun. A smile, a gun, and a Brute get you the key to the city. – Al “Scarface” Capone, Interview, 1930.”

— Larry Correia

12. “He must seek his life in a spirit of furious indifference to it; he must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine.”

— Larry Correia

13. “Jake Sullivan: “FDR can go to hell. I’m a man. Not a type, not a number, and sure as hell not something that can be summed up as a logo to wear on my sleeve. A man. And I ain’t registering nothing.”

— Larry Correia

14. “When you’re getting chased by a zombie bear, I guess you don’t need to be faster than the bear, just faster than your friends. I briefly contemplated shooting Grant in the leg.”

— Larry Correia

15. “Legible penmanship is a sign of a boring mind.”

— Larry Correia

16. “Dispensing indiscriminate justice and the righteous smell of gunpowder.”

— Larry Correia

17. “Holly had taken to calling us the rainbow coalition team, since we had one white female, and males of the Black, Asian, and Other categories. All we needed was a lesbian and a guy in a wheelchair and we were ready to salve even the biggest liberal’s angst.”

— Larry Correia

18. “Our tax dollars had equipped Agent Franks with the SUV from Hell.”

— Larry Correia

19. “Personally, that would strike me as kind of weird, except I’m talking to Frankenstein’s monster who was just dismantled by my werewolf boss before being put back together by our orc priestess, so what the hell do I know?”

— Larry Correia

20. “Now that’s just racist stereotyping,” Tanya sniffed. “I’m offended.” “You can file a complaint with the Trailer Park Elf Defamation League.”

— Larry Correia

21. “The biggest racists I’ve ever met aren’t here, they’re in politics, and they are smug bastards. They’re the ones that are quick to play the race card, the ones that pimp poverty. Those are the real bigots.”

— Larry Correia

22. “As a general rule, the more a situation sucks, the more humor you can find in the little things.”

— Larry Correia

23. “Novak, climb up that wall and see if you can get an angle on the big one.” The military rifle in her hands wasn’t particular impressive. “I don’t know if it’ll notice.” “Try to shoot it in the soft bits.”

— Larry Correia

24. “The government was the most merciless monster he’d ever dealt with, and it was the only one that he could never truly beat.”

— Larry Correia

25. “There is no such thing as a “peacekeeping mission” in the Middle East. Period. The Middle East has been at war, literally, since the dawn of history. The.”

— Larry Correia

26. “Her father had been a sailor. Her mother had been a siren. That particular relationship had worked out better than normal, with the sailor not being drowned then eaten, and Sharon had been the result, brought back to human civilization and raised to be a civilized young lady.”

— Larry Correia

27. “Having spent time in Hell, he knew that government paperwork was the closest mankind had ever come to achieving true soul-crushing misery.”

— Larry Correia

28. “The more annoyed Earl was, the more southern he sounded, and right about then, he sounded like he was ready to fry up some catfish and watch some NASCAR.”

— Larry Correia

29. “The guy that helped me learn this stuff suggested prayer and meditation. So I took up smoking.”

— Larry Correia

30. “I always take no for an answer,” I said, definitely. “I just prefer yes. And I really don’t go for married women. That’s a line I try very hard not to cross. I’m still an outrageous flirt.”

— Larry Correia

31. “Hello there!” Cleasby called. “Is anyone home?” “Bravo, sir,” Thorny said. “If it’s an ambush, that certainly put them off their game.”

— Larry Correia

32. “Mom knew damned well how disgusting the bastard was but she had that incredible ability found in so many minds like hers to simply ignore all the evidence in favor of her personal view of the world. And.”

— Larry Correia

33. “Wait a second, is a snooty book critic actually admitting to judging books by their covers?”

— Larry Correia

34. “There is a vast gulf between perfection and near perfection, and that gulf is filled with agony.”

— Larry Correia

35. “I’m sorry. The KGB did not have classes in cracker.”

— Larry Correia

36. “She had not liked the German at first, but she decided that that was just because he had shot her to death.”

— Larry Correia

37. “The doctors had been impressed that I was even alive. When I had asked one of them approximately how much blood I had lost, he had responded wryly with “most of it.”

— Larry Correia

38. “The Royal University will get along fine without me.” “And the Malcontents won’t?” “If I’m away too long, they tend cause trouble. Set fires. That sort of thing.” Cleasby grinned. “Sorry, sir, but I think they need me more.”

— Larry Correia

39. “I’d say the worst part of all this is the feeling of betrayal, but I’m betting the part where they break in here and beat us to death might be worse.” Stricken.”

— Larry Correia

40. “The Mythbusters had nothing on our guys. “I’m.”

— Larry Correia

41. “The spears, knives, and clubs Keta had been secretly stockpiling beneath the barrels of fish were also just tools. His mind was the weapon.”

— Larry Correia

42. “She wore glasses, and I was a sucker for a girl in corrective eyewear. Since I was ugly it was probably some sort of subconscious reaction in the hope that I might have a chance with a cute girl who couldn’t see very.”

— Larry Correia

43. “Normally, when I hear someone say ‘everybody knows,’ what follows shortly after tends to be wrong.”

— Larry Correia

44. “We each checked the man next to us to make sure he’d been properly secured. Edward, as usual, didn’t care, as orcs didn’t really like to pay attention to things like safety. If things got nuts, Ed would stay inside by the sheer power of his badassitude.”

— Larry Correia

45. “You think it’s because of the girl. Grant probably thinks it’s because of the girl too. That’s because you’re both idiots.”

— Larry Correia

46. “From the commotion, Franks figured it had to be pretty impressive-looking, but then again, if they weren’t easily impressed, they wouldn’t be cultists to begin with. “Hurry!”

— Larry Correia

47. “All big men hate running. Sure, I could sprint, but you don’t see very many three-hundred-pound marathoners for good reason. Only crazy people run for fun.”

— Larry Correia

48. “Aspiring authors, get this through your head. Cover art serves one purpose, and one purpose only, to get potential customers interested long enough to pick up the book to read the back cover blurb. In the internet age that means the thumb nail image needs to be interesting enough to click on. That’s what covers are for.”

— Larry Correia

49. “If we lived through this, I was going to find out why Grant had turned snitch and then I was going to beat him to death.”

— Larry Correia

50. “Everywhere he went now there were laws stacked on top of other laws until there was a mountain of laws ready to collapse in a giant avalanche of meddling.”

— Larry Correia