Top 250 Melody Beattie Quotes (2024 Update)
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151. “We can ask for information and use words to forge a closer connection, but we don’t have to take people around the block with our conversations. We don’t have to listen to, or participate in, nonsense. We can say what we want and stop when we’re done.”

— Melody Beattie

152. “The important concept here is, get started. Light a fire under yourself.”

— Melody Beattie

153. “Codependency is about normal behaviors taken too far. It’s about crossing lines.”

— Melody Beattie

154. “Our feelings don’t need to control us. Just because we’re angry, we don’t have to scream and hit. Just because we’re sad or depressed, we don’t have to lie in bed all day. Just because we’re scared, doesn’t mean we don’t apply for that job. I.”

— Melody Beattie

155. “Detachment involves “present moment living” – living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it.”

— Melody Beattie

156. “Free others to be who they are. In so doing, you will set yourself free.”

— Melody Beattie

157. “Feelings are emotional energy; they are not personality traits.”

— Melody Beattie

158. “We are not meant to be just like anyone else.”

— Melody Beattie

159. “Prayer changes things. Prayer changes us. Prayer changes life. Sometimes an event has been manifested that needs to be stopped, midair. Don’t pray just when you’re in trouble. Pray every day. Surround yourself with prayer. You never know when you might need an extra miracle.”

— Melody Beattie

160. “I gave three years of my life to take care of my dying mother who had Alzheimer’s disease. Being there for her every need for three years might have looked codependent but it wasn’t because it was what I wanted to do.”

— Melody Beattie

161. “For each of us, there comes a time to let go. You will know when that time has come. When you have done all that you can do, it is time to detach. Deal with your feelings. Face your fears about losing control. Gain control of yourself and your responsibilities. Free others to be who they are. In so doing, you will set yourself free. ACTIVITY Is there an event or person in your life that you are trying to control? Why? Write a few paragraphs about it.”

— Melody Beattie

162. “The rewards from detachment are great: serenity; a deep sense of peace; the ability to give and receive love in self-enhancing, energizing ways; and the freedom to find real solutions to our problems. We find the freedom to live our own lives without excessive feelings of guilt about, or responsibility toward others.”

— Melody Beattie

163. “We do not lead others into the Light by stepping into the darkness with them.”

— Melody Beattie

164. “People may get angry at us for setting boundaries; they can’t use us anymore. They may try to help us feel guilty so we will remove our boundary and return to the old system of letting them use or abuse us. Don’t feel guilty and don’t back down.”

— Melody Beattie

165. “Remember, decisions don’t have to be made perfectly. We don’t have to be perfect. We don’t even have to be nearly perfect. We can just be who we are. We can make mistakes in our choices. We’re not so fragile we can’t handle making a mistake. It’s no big deal! It’s part of living. We can learn from our mistakes, or we can simply make another decision.”

— Melody Beattie

166. “Codependent No More Workbook Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact Finding Your Way Home Gratitude.”

— Melody Beattie

167. “Sometimes, the things we do to protect ourselves turn on us and hurt us. They become self-destructive. Many codependents are barely surviving, and most aren’t getting their needs met. As counselor Scott Egleston says, codependency is a way of getting needs met that doesn’t get needs met. We’ve been doing the wrong things for the right reasons.”

— Melody Beattie

168. “Today, I will understand that I hold the key to my freedom. I will stop participating in my oppression and victimization. I will take responsibility for myself, and let others do as they may.”

— Melody Beattie

169. “Whatever problem the other person has, codependency involves a habitual system of thinking, feeling, and behaving toward ourselves and others that can cause us pain. Codependent behaviors or habits are self-destructive. We frequently react to people who are destroying themselves; we.”

— Melody Beattie

170. “Few situations – no matter how greatly they appear to demand it – can be bettered by us going beserk.”

— Melody Beattie

171. “A man went to Istanbul, his first visit there. On his way to a business meeting, this man lost his way. He began raging at himself for getting lost, until a realization allowed him to transcend his ire. “How can I be lost? I’ve never been here before?” pp 104-105.”

— Melody Beattie

172. “Today, I will trust that God will do for me what I cannot do for myself. I will do my part – working the Twelve Steps and letting God do the rest.”

— Melody Beattie

173. “Accepting reality is touted and encouraged by most sane people.”

— Melody Beattie

174. “Say what we mean, and mean what we say. If we don’t know what we mean, be quiet and think about it. If our answer is, “I don’t know,” say “I don’t know.” Learn to be concise. Stop taking people all around the block. Get to the point and when we make it, stop.”

— Melody Beattie

175. “We can tell the truth. Lying about what we think, how we feel, and what we want isn’t being polite – it’s lying. We.”

— Melody Beattie

176. “Caring works. Caretaking doesn’t. We can learn to walk the line between the two.”

— Melody Beattie

177. “Panic is our great enemy.”

— Melody Beattie

178. “We rescue people from their responsibilities. We take care of people’s responsibilities for them. Later we get mad at them for what we’ve done. Then we feel used and sorry for ourselves. That is the pattern, the triangle.”

— Melody Beattie

179. “As Thomas Wright writes in an article from the book Co-Dependency, An Emerging Issue, “I suspect codependents have historically attacked social injustice and fought for the rights of the underdog. Codependents want to help. I suspect they have helped. But they probably died thinking they didn’t do enough and were feeling guilty.”

— Melody Beattie

180. “When our heart is broken, we can’t hear it. And when we can’t hear our heart, we can’t hear God.”

— Melody Beattie

181. “Can you feel the rush? Listen quietly. It’s there. It’s the sound of a life and spirit being set free. God, help me set myself free from ridiculous and unnecessary expectations.”

— Melody Beattie

182. “When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled.”

— Melody Beattie

183. “Don’t give up hope. It took many of us twenty years or more to acquire these protective behaviors we umbrella with the word codependency. It may take as much time as that to let go of them.”

— Melody Beattie

184. “We don’t have to be controlled by what other people say; we don’t have to try to control them with our words and special effects. We don’t have to be manipulated, guilted, coerced, or forced into anything. We can open our mouths and take care of ourselves! Learn to say: “I love you, but I love me, too. This is what I need to do to take care of me.” We.”

— Melody Beattie

185. “You will learn to recognize when detachment is advisable. A good rule of thumb is: You need to detach most when it seems the least likely or possible thing to do.”

— Melody Beattie

186. “If we abdicate responsibility for our choices, we may become angry, sometimes full of rage at others for running our lives, for telling us what to do. We need to take responsibility. We need to trust ourselves.”

— Melody Beattie

187. “We’re so careful to see that no one gets hurt. No one, that is, but ourselves.”

— Melody Beattie

188. “I reacted to other people’s feelings, behaviors, problems, and thoughts. I reacted to what they might by feeling, thinking, or doing. I reacted to my own feelings, my own thoughts, my own problems. My strong point seemed to be reacting to crises – I thought almost everything was a crisis. I overreacted.”

— Melody Beattie

189. “Living our lives may not be an exciting prospect to some of us either. Maybe we’ve been so wrapped up in other people that we’ve forgotten how to live and enjoy our lives.”

— Melody Beattie

190. “People and things don’t stop our pain or heal us. In recovery, we learn that this is our job, and we can do it by using our resources: ourselves, our Higher Power, our support systems, and our recovery program.”

— Melody Beattie

191. “Each person’s feelings are his or her own. Nobody makes.”

— Melody Beattie

192. “If you can’t get peaceful about a decision, let it go. It’s not time to make it yet. Wait until your mind is consistent and your emotions are calm.”

— Melody Beattie

193. “Today, I will know that I don’t have to worry about anything. If I do worry, I will do it with the understanding that I am choosing to worry, and it is not necessary.”

— Melody Beattie

194. “Today, God, help me to know that it is okay to allow myself to be human. Help me not to feel guilty or punish myself when I need to “fall apart.”

— Melody Beattie

195. “Start by knowing that who we are is okay. Our feelings and thoughts are okay. Our opinions count. It’s okay to talk about our problems. And it’s okay to say no. We.”

— Melody Beattie

196. “If you make a decision, you’ll become a hero within the corporate culture. If 30 percent of your decisions are right, you’re going to be a big hitter.”2.”

— Melody Beattie

197. “When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled. We forfeit our power to think, feel, and act in accordance with our best interests. We frequently lose control of ourselves. Often, we are being controlled not just by people but by diseases such as alcoholism, eating disorders, and compulsive gambling.”

— Melody Beattie

198. “God, help me pay attention to my behaviors during the process of initiating relationships. Help me take responsibility for myself and learn what I need to learn. I will trust that the people I want and need will come into my life. I understand that if a relationship is not good for me, I have the right and ability to refuse to enter into it – even though the other person thinks it may be good for him or her.”

— Melody Beattie

199. “Today, I will let things happen without worrying about the significance of each event. I will trust that this will bring about my growth faster than running around with a microscope. I will trust my lessons to reveal themselves in their own time.”

— Melody Beattie

200. “The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are.”

— Melody Beattie