Top 250 Melody Beattie Quotes (2025 Update)
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151. “Whatever we try to control does have control over us and our life.”

— Melody Beattie

152. “I am not a teacher, but an awakener. – ROBERT FROST.”

— Melody Beattie

153. “Stop picking on yourself, worrying if you’re good enough, wondering what people will see if you let them see your heart. This is what they’ll see: that you are a lovable and delightful soul, a beautiful child of God.”

— Melody Beattie

154. “We will face and deal with reality – on our own time schedule, when we are ready, and in our Higher Power’s timing. We do not have to accept chastisement from anyone, including ourselves, for this schedule. We will know what we need to know, when it’s time to know it.”

— Melody Beattie

155. “The only limitations on you are the ones you’ve placed on yourself.”

— Melody Beattie

156. “We can ask for information and use words to forge a closer connection, but we don’t have to take people around the block with our conversations. We don’t have to listen to, or participate in, nonsense. We can say what we want and stop when we’re done.”

— Melody Beattie

157. “The important concept here is, get started. Light a fire under yourself.”

— Melody Beattie

158. “Detachment involves “present moment living” – living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it.”

— Melody Beattie

159. “Our feelings don’t need to control us. Just because we’re angry, we don’t have to scream and hit. Just because we’re sad or depressed, we don’t have to lie in bed all day. Just because we’re scared, doesn’t mean we don’t apply for that job. I.”

— Melody Beattie

160. “Codependency is about normal behaviors taken too far. It’s about crossing lines.”

— Melody Beattie

161. “Feelings are emotional energy; they are not personality traits.”

— Melody Beattie

162. “We are not meant to be just like anyone else.”

— Melody Beattie

163. “Prayer changes things. Prayer changes us. Prayer changes life. Sometimes an event has been manifested that needs to be stopped, midair. Don’t pray just when you’re in trouble. Pray every day. Surround yourself with prayer. You never know when you might need an extra miracle.”

— Melody Beattie

164. “I gave three years of my life to take care of my dying mother who had Alzheimer’s disease. Being there for her every need for three years might have looked codependent but it wasn’t because it was what I wanted to do.”

— Melody Beattie

165. “The rewards from detachment are great: serenity; a deep sense of peace; the ability to give and receive love in self-enhancing, energizing ways; and the freedom to find real solutions to our problems. We find the freedom to live our own lives without excessive feelings of guilt about, or responsibility toward others.”

— Melody Beattie

166. “We do not lead others into the Light by stepping into the darkness with them.”

— Melody Beattie

167. “Codependent No More Workbook Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact Finding Your Way Home Gratitude.”

— Melody Beattie

168. “Remember, decisions don’t have to be made perfectly. We don’t have to be perfect. We don’t even have to be nearly perfect. We can just be who we are. We can make mistakes in our choices. We’re not so fragile we can’t handle making a mistake. It’s no big deal! It’s part of living. We can learn from our mistakes, or we can simply make another decision.”

— Melody Beattie

169. “Sometimes, the things we do to protect ourselves turn on us and hurt us. They become self-destructive. Many codependents are barely surviving, and most aren’t getting their needs met. As counselor Scott Egleston says, codependency is a way of getting needs met that doesn’t get needs met. We’ve been doing the wrong things for the right reasons.”

— Melody Beattie

170. “Today, I will understand that I hold the key to my freedom. I will stop participating in my oppression and victimization. I will take responsibility for myself, and let others do as they may.”

— Melody Beattie

171. “Whatever problem the other person has, codependency involves a habitual system of thinking, feeling, and behaving toward ourselves and others that can cause us pain. Codependent behaviors or habits are self-destructive. We frequently react to people who are destroying themselves; we.”

— Melody Beattie

172. “Say what we mean, and mean what we say. If we don’t know what we mean, be quiet and think about it. If our answer is, “I don’t know,” say “I don’t know.” Learn to be concise. Stop taking people all around the block. Get to the point and when we make it, stop.”

— Melody Beattie

173. “Few situations – no matter how greatly they appear to demand it – can be bettered by us going beserk.”

— Melody Beattie

174. “A man went to Istanbul, his first visit there. On his way to a business meeting, this man lost his way. He began raging at himself for getting lost, until a realization allowed him to transcend his ire. “How can I be lost? I’ve never been here before?” pp 104-105.”

— Melody Beattie

175. “We can tell the truth. Lying about what we think, how we feel, and what we want isn’t being polite – it’s lying. We.”

— Melody Beattie

176. “Accepting reality is touted and encouraged by most sane people.”

— Melody Beattie

177. “As Thomas Wright writes in an article from the book Co-Dependency, An Emerging Issue, “I suspect codependents have historically attacked social injustice and fought for the rights of the underdog. Codependents want to help. I suspect they have helped. But they probably died thinking they didn’t do enough and were feeling guilty.”

— Melody Beattie

178. “Caring works. Caretaking doesn’t. We can learn to walk the line between the two.”

— Melody Beattie

179. “We rescue people from their responsibilities. We take care of people’s responsibilities for them. Later we get mad at them for what we’ve done. Then we feel used and sorry for ourselves. That is the pattern, the triangle.”

— Melody Beattie

180. “When our heart is broken, we can’t hear it. And when we can’t hear our heart, we can’t hear God.”

— Melody Beattie

181. “Panic is our great enemy.”

— Melody Beattie

182. “Can you feel the rush? Listen quietly. It’s there. It’s the sound of a life and spirit being set free. God, help me set myself free from ridiculous and unnecessary expectations.”

— Melody Beattie

183. “Don’t give up hope. It took many of us twenty years or more to acquire these protective behaviors we umbrella with the word codependency. It may take as much time as that to let go of them.”

— Melody Beattie

184. “We don’t have to be controlled by what other people say; we don’t have to try to control them with our words and special effects. We don’t have to be manipulated, guilted, coerced, or forced into anything. We can open our mouths and take care of ourselves! Learn to say: “I love you, but I love me, too. This is what I need to do to take care of me.” We.”

— Melody Beattie

185. “You will learn to recognize when detachment is advisable. A good rule of thumb is: You need to detach most when it seems the least likely or possible thing to do.”

— Melody Beattie

186. “If you can’t get peaceful about a decision, let it go. It’s not time to make it yet. Wait until your mind is consistent and your emotions are calm.”

— Melody Beattie

187. “When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled.”

— Melody Beattie

188. “If we abdicate responsibility for our choices, we may become angry, sometimes full of rage at others for running our lives, for telling us what to do. We need to take responsibility. We need to trust ourselves.”

— Melody Beattie

189. “I reacted to other people’s feelings, behaviors, problems, and thoughts. I reacted to what they might by feeling, thinking, or doing. I reacted to my own feelings, my own thoughts, my own problems. My strong point seemed to be reacting to crises – I thought almost everything was a crisis. I overreacted.”

— Melody Beattie

190. “We’re so careful to see that no one gets hurt. No one, that is, but ourselves.”

— Melody Beattie

191. “Living our lives may not be an exciting prospect to some of us either. Maybe we’ve been so wrapped up in other people that we’ve forgotten how to live and enjoy our lives.”

— Melody Beattie

192. “When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled. We forfeit our power to think, feel, and act in accordance with our best interests. We frequently lose control of ourselves. Often, we are being controlled not just by people but by diseases such as alcoholism, eating disorders, and compulsive gambling.”

— Melody Beattie

193. “People and things don’t stop our pain or heal us. In recovery, we learn that this is our job, and we can do it by using our resources: ourselves, our Higher Power, our support systems, and our recovery program.”

— Melody Beattie

194. “Each person’s feelings are his or her own. Nobody makes.”

— Melody Beattie

195. “Today, I will know that I don’t have to worry about anything. If I do worry, I will do it with the understanding that I am choosing to worry, and it is not necessary.”

— Melody Beattie

196. “Start by knowing that who we are is okay. Our feelings and thoughts are okay. Our opinions count. It’s okay to talk about our problems. And it’s okay to say no. We.”

— Melody Beattie

197. “Today, God, help me practice the concept of acceptance in my life. Help me accept myself, others, and my circumstances. Take me one step further, and help me feel grateful.”

— Melody Beattie

198. “I believe detachment can become a habitual response, in the same manner that obsessing, worrying, and controlling became habitual responses – by.”

— Melody Beattie

199. “Today, God, help me to know that it is okay to allow myself to be human. Help me not to feel guilty or punish myself when I need to “fall apart.”

— Melody Beattie

200. “If you make a decision, you’ll become a hero within the corporate culture. If 30 percent of your decisions are right, you’re going to be a big hitter.”2.”

— Melody Beattie