Top 100 Noël Coward Quotes (2026 Update)

1. “Work is much more fun than fun.”

— Noël Coward

Featured in: Funny Inspirational Quotes, Fun Quotes

2. “A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.”

— Noël Coward

3. “It’s never too early for a cocktail.”

— Noël Coward

4. “Never trust a man with short legs. His brains are too near his bottom.”

— Noël Coward

5. “Christmas is at our throats again.”

— Noël Coward

6. “Work hard, do the best you can, don’t ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.”

— Noël Coward

7. “If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.”

— Noël Coward

8. “It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.”

— Noël Coward

9. “Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun.”

— Noël Coward

10. “The higher the building the lower the morals.”

— Noël Coward

11. “I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.”

— Noël Coward

12. “Thousands of people have talent. I might as well congratulate you for having eyes in your head. The one and only thing that counts is: Do you have staying power?”

— Noël Coward

13. “Marriage is the aftermath of love.”

— Noël Coward

14. “But why, oh why, do the wrong people travel, when the right people stay at home?”

— Noël Coward

15. “Grab it while you can – grab every scrap of happiness while you can.”

— Noël Coward

16. “Star quality: I don’t know what it is, but I’ve got it.”

— Noël Coward

17. “Exercise is the most awful illusion. The secret is a lot of aspirin and marrons glaces.”

— Noël Coward

18. “Goodnight my darlings, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

— Noël Coward

19. “I never cared who scored the goal, or which side won the silver cup. I never learned to bat or bowl; but I heard the curtain going up.”

— Noël Coward

20. “Madame Bovary is the sexiest book imaginable. The woman’s virtually a nyphomaniac but you won’t find a vulgar word in the entire thing.”

— Noël Coward

21. “Conceit is an outward manifestation of inferiority.”

— Noël Coward

22. “Familiarity breeds contempt, but without a little familiarity it’s impossible to breed anything.”

— Noël Coward

23. “Many years ago I remember a famous actress explaining to me with perfect seriousness that before making an entrance she always stood aside to allow God to go on first. I can also remember that on that particular occasion He gave a singularly uninspired performance.”

— Noël Coward

24. “I want a horse and plough, Chickens too, Just one cow, With a wistful moo.”

— Noël Coward

25. “I don’t think pornography is harmful, but it is terribly, terribly boring.”

— Noël Coward

26. “I’m not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.”

— Noël Coward

27. “To know you are among people whom you love, and who love you – that has made all the successes wonderful, much more wonderful than they’d have been anyway.”

— Noël Coward

28. “Criticism and Bolshevism have one thing in common. They both seek to pull down that which they could never build.”

— Noël Coward

29. “You kissed me because you were awfully nice and I was awfully nice and we both liked kissing very much. It was inevitable.”

— Noël Coward

30. “You will know you’re old when you cease to be amazed.”

— Noël Coward

31. “I like long walks, especialy when they are taken by people who annoy me.”

— Noël Coward

32. “I’m over-educated in the things I shouldn’t have known at all.”

— Noël Coward

33. “I’m an enormously talented man, and there’s no use pretending that I’m not...”

— Noël Coward

34. “I’ll go and see anything so long as it amuses me, or moves me. If it doesn’t do either I want to go home.”

— Noël Coward

35. “There isn’t a particle of you that I don’t know, remember, and want.”

— Noël Coward

36. “Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn’t everyone?”

— Noël Coward

37. “We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?”

— Noël Coward

38. “Las Vegas: It was not cafe society, it was Nescafe society.”

— Noël Coward

39. “Wouldn’t it be dreadful to live in a country where they didn’t have tea?”

— Noël Coward

40. “He’s completely unspoiled by failure.”

— Noël Coward

41. “At twelve noon, The natives swoon And no further work is doneBut mad dogs and Englishmen, Go out in the midday sun.”

— Noël Coward

42. “Your motivation is your pay packet on Friday. Now get on with it.”

— Noël Coward

43. “Wit is like caviar – it should be served in small portions and not spread about like marmalade.”

— Noël Coward

44. “My life really has been one long extravaganza.”

— Noël Coward

45. “How was your flight? Well, aeronautically it was a great success. Socially, it left quite a bit to be desired.”

— Noël Coward

46. “Hollywood is a place where some people lie on the beach and look up at the stars, whereas other people lie on the stars and look down at the beach.”

— Noël Coward

47. “I’ll go through life either first class or third, but never in second.”

— Noël Coward

48. “Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.”

— Noël Coward

49. “The pleasures that once were heaven look silly at sixty-seven.”

— Noël Coward

50. “A bloody good thing, but too late.”

— Noël Coward